Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

childminder and sweets

24 replies

phewIdidit · 06/05/2015 20:33

My child goes upstairs to my childminder on the days I work. I live in an apartment and it is very convenient. The childminder is great and my son 5 loves going there.She has him for an hour or so before taking him to school. Sometimes if he wakes up early enough he has breakfast here before leaving but if he sleeps late he has breakfast with the childminder. Regardless whether he eats here or upstairs he always needs something extra before school. He has a good appetite.
To begin with the childminder was giving him breakfast and sweet pancakes or biscuits. I told her he was not to have sweets although it took a certain amount of reminding to stop this. I leave a toothbrush with her and have requested that she brushes my son's teeth before going to school. She let him do it independently and I said he must be supervised. I am constantly at her to not give him sugary foods and brush his teeth. He has already had one filling so I am very mindful of keeping dental hygiene in check. To cut a long story short I am angry that she just doesn't get the message. Any advice?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Artandco · 06/05/2015 20:37

Are you sure the pancakes are sweet? Basic Pancake mix is just egg, flour and milk. Nothing sweet

MangoJuggler · 06/05/2015 20:38

Yes

Get a different child minder

Your relationship has broken down

Artandco · 06/05/2015 20:40

Also I'm afraid it is up the childminder what she feeds them as you don't employ her like a nanny, she is the employer and you chose to accept her terms. So that includes what activities she does/ what food offered etc. if you don't agree then you need to give notice and find another childminder who offers different or use a nanny who you can give instructions to

NightsOfGethsemane · 06/05/2015 20:42

So she did stop giving him a sweet breakfast when you asked then? What else is she giving him that you find unacceptable?

As for brushing his teeth afterwards, a 5 year old should be able to do it themselves under supervision. I'm not sure why you are so instant that she do it for him?

NightsOfGethsemane · 06/05/2015 20:45

But as Art said upthread, a childminder is not a nanny. You cannot dictate what foods she serves. You are not her employer and you can choose not to use her service if you don't find it a good fit for you and your child.

MicronesiaIsMyHome · 06/05/2015 20:48

How do you know what the childminder is feeding your ds? Is your child a reliable source of information? My 6 year old comes home from school every day saying she ate pasta for lunch and I know this is not true because the menu is available for parents to look at.

hooker29 · 06/05/2015 22:03

You can't dictate what food she gives,BUT she should be working in partnership with you.

Why don't you provide breakfast for him to take with him? I don't provide food in my setting-the children bring their own.
As for the teeth-brushing...why can't he do them before he goes there?

OutragedFromLeeds · 06/05/2015 23:16

I think the easiest solution would be to give him breakfast at home and send him with a snack you are happy with, then she doesn't need to feed him at all

HSMMaCM · 07/05/2015 07:17

It's better for his teeth to clean them before breakfast, because the enamel is weaker after eating. Do his teeth and give him breakfast before he goes. As someone else says, she runs her business and she is not an employee, so if you don't like what she offers, you go somewhere else.

Jinxxx · 07/05/2015 09:24

She's probably angry too that you are "constantly on at her" - an adult discussion about what may or may not be achievable would be more constructive. If you don't like what she provides for breakfast, why not send your own, especially as it sounds like she will have no idea from day to day whether he will have already eaten. Clean your son's teeth at home too; she is probably too busy at breakfast time to do them for him, and who is not being supervised while she supposedly does this? Or find someone else who does things as you wish.

Penfold007 · 07/05/2015 10:05

Get your child up, give him breakfast and supervise the tooth brushing. He really shouldn't need a pre school snack after a decent breakfast.

threegoingonthirty · 07/05/2015 12:36

Regardless whether he eats here or upstairs he always needs something extra before school. He has a good appetite.

Is your son overweight by any chance? Sounds like what a lot of my patients with overweight kids say.

I'd echo the advice upthread - get him up earlier and give him a decent breakfast. He needs to learn that he doesn't need a snack between breakfast and going to school!

Original poster

phewIdidit · 07/05/2015 16:58

No he's not overweight. The childminder is not leaving anyone else unsupervised she only has my son. She isn't very well off and gets on very well with my child. She isn't angry with me and we get on very well. (but there seems to be angry people on this thread).............
beginning to wish I hadn't asked. It is a sad reflection of mumsnet - a simple question seems to be an outlet for a few (minority) to vent their anger over a question put on for advice.

OP posts:

threegoingonthirty · 07/05/2015 17:36

I don't think there's anger here. Just a general opinion that a child with no medical reason for extra snacks should be able to go from breakfast to lunch with no snack in between, and that if you gave him breakfast, with no expectation of a before school snack, that would solve the problem

sorry you feel got at

Cindy34 · 07/05/2015 17:44

Send him with suitable snack.

What sort of thing do you feel is suitable as everything I can think of contains sugar of some type, even scrambled egg on toast.

HSMMaCM · 07/05/2015 18:12

I'm not angry. Just choose one breakfast, the childminders or yours. How about porridge? And remember to clean his teeth before breakfast, not afterwards if you want to avoid fillings.

Original poster

phewIdidit · 07/05/2015 18:23

Yes I clean his teeth after he gets up. It is helpful to know that this is the best time to do it.The dentist told me, and I agree, that children under 7, generally should be supervised with cleaning their teeth. I could give him breakfast before school however I am a single mother, working a demanding job and need to leave reasonably early. He is normally up at 7.
I am not an unreasonable person and appreciate that the childminder is not a nanny. I am fairly generous and flexible with people who have looked after my son. I think sending up packet of porridge or weetabix is a possible solution.

OP posts:

Artandco · 07/05/2015 18:40

I would just give him porridge and banana soon after he gets up at 7am before you leave. Solves all issues

Jinxxx · 07/05/2015 18:41

I'm not angry either. You said in your OP that you were angry though phewIdidit, so I think people are actually trying to tell you that you do not need to be.

Littlef00t · 07/05/2015 18:44

I agree that you should brush his teeth before he goes to the childminder, but if he does them again then great.

I give my childminder the breakfast I want dd to eat, and would recommend it. Also provide the snack if you're worried about what she is choosing.

ButtonMoon88 · 08/05/2015 14:08

PHEWLDIDIT- she isn't very well off what the hell is this to do with anything???
I find your post so odd. You say you like her, you also say you are constantly at her and angry

You say she lives above you, is she a registered CM or just a neighbour doing you a favour?

As a CM myself, who is also not very well off, I supply breakfast of toast, cereal, homemade fruit pancakes, porridge and fresh fruit. The children all come washed and brushed. If you are giving your child breakfast at home they shouldn't need any more when they go to CM anyway, or send snacks that you approve of.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/05/2015 08:41

What time do you leave?

If your child wake up at 7 then give him Breakie at yours then go to work

A child does not need breakfast and then a snack an hour later

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/05/2015 08:42

Whoops hit send

Don't let him sleep late. Wake up if not awake so that he has time For breakie at yours

No snack at cm. he doesn't need one

And then you know what he has to eat every day

madeitagain · 09/05/2015 21:03

I have talked to the childminder and given supplies of porridge and weetabix so that my son can choose one of the two. I have said to give him the choice of the two and no other options. So far so good. Thanks for all the feedback.

Flip