My 'Mother's Help' took ds out of school early without asking me.

[clumsymum]

Oh blimey, where do I start with this?

I employ a lady to collect ds from school and bring him home, give him tea etc. 2 days a week so I can work full days on those 2 days.

She's a mature lady, lots of experience of children, her own grandson aged 8, and I thought very sensible.

Anyway, yesterday I got home to find the house empty. A note was on the kitchen counter. Her daughter-in-law (heavily pg) had a funny turn, needed MH to go and look after grandson, so she'd taken ds with her. She would drop him at Beavers after she had given him tea (I'd left a casserole cooking for them).

When I collected ds from Beavers he said he'd been to MacD's for tea, then that MH had collected him early out of class (about quarter of an hour I think). Also he was late being dropped at Beavers.

I couldn't raise her on her phone last night (I guess visiting the hospital).

But I'm livid that she didn't ring me, nor mention on her note that ds left school early. I double checked my mobile and voicemail in case I'd missed her call, but I definately didn't.

If she had called me I would have left work and collected ds myself, told her to go and see to her family. I wouldn't have suggested collecting ds early.

She's supposed to be coming tonight to babysit, and I don't know how to express my upset about this. I am really angry, but I know I mustn't lose my temper with her.

What would you say?

I understand why you aren't happy with how this happened, I wouldn't have been too happy to get home and find a note like this either. I also believe that most of the posters on this thread wouldn't have liked it either. However I think you are overreacting.

I have just noticed that you posted this on Tuesday, have you seen her? I do hope that you enquired after her daughters health and then listened to what she had to say?

I think she acted responsibly in what were obviously worrying (for her) circumstances.Maybe when she went to the school prepared to wait for your son to finish, they suggested that she take him out? Maybe she tried to phone and there was no signal?

Anyway I hope that this is all sorted out.

Please do not rely totally on mobile phones! There have been a few times when I've tried to make a call and got 'Network busy'.

How would you have felt if she's not collected your Son, and school had had to phone you?

Give the lady a break. It's a DAMN hard job looking after children, I know, I'm a childminder, and to be honest, you need to appreciate her a bit more than I feel you do.

I'd have a little chat with her about potential emergency scenarios, and what to do, but make it clear (in a calm friendly tone) that she's to ring you, even if it's to present you with a fait accompli as in this case. I'd want to be told too, but in your shoes I wouldn't be livid tbh.
Also that sort of part time after school child care is pretty hard to come by; you don't want to loose her surely ?

I had an incident yesterday where a parent wasnt at agreed meeting place to collect her two children and I waited as long as I could before having to pick up another child. I rang the women on her mobile to tell her where we would be. It went through to voicemail because she didnt have it switched on.

This has happened several times, she says "just call me" but she never remembers to switch her mobile on!