dd not settling with c/m - do I stick??

[funnypeculiar]

or twist??

dd (7 mths) has been (p/t) with c/m for over 6 weeks now. And still screams most of time she's there. We/re currently trying an hour a day to try & settle her in, but with no obvious improvement.

Do I keep trying, on the basis that she's likely to kick off with anyone, or do some babies take against a particular (lovely!) c/m for no obvious reason???

Also, if you were said c/m, would you be offended/flattered if I asked you to recommend someone else??

Sounds like she's upset about being left and it will be the same if you chage cm. I know the books say this is supposed to happen at about 10 months but ime this is quite common at this age. Btw cm will be ....relieved... if you stop I should imagine! One hour a day is not enough for baby to get used to her cm imo.

Yes, I think dd is just, ahem, advanced in her separation anxiety! She does however, go to other people fairly easily (although not for such long periods obviously)

And, yes, I'm sure this is as miserable for c/m as it is for us - luckily ds loves her so she knows I don't just breed miserable screamy kids!!

(PS appologies have posted OP twice...)

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Just a question is she fine at home if you put her down or leave the room?
Its just that I had great problems with a mindee of 8 mths old settling. About 2 mths down the line her eardrum burst - she had not had temperature or anything obvious - just cried when put down or if I left the room but was happy if cuddled and we assumed anxiety. She was like that at home too. I had asked mum several times to take her to the doctors just to be sure it wasn't anything like ears or throat and she hadn't so I was beginning to think of giving up minding her, but once the infection was cleared she was a totally different child - still a bit anxious but much much happier. - 12 months on - you would never believe we went through all that. She is SO confident and independent.

HappyMum - yes, ds is very happy with her, and I really like c/m! I guess I', just (like you) wondering what I do if this doesn't improve - short of leaving my baby to scream for longer and longer Just wondered if there was a chance dd had somehow managed to associate c/m with something negative, that might not be there with a different c/m, iykwim. (And would prob have to move ds too - negotiating 2 drop offs/pick ups would be a 'mare!)

Nice idea alison22, but dd is playing happily on her own on playmat in another room out of sight as I write, and is used to being put down & ignored at home(!) , so am pretty confident it's nothing medical...

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bump for any evening wisdom??

I had one baby do a long settling-in period over several weeks (one hour per week, then two hours per week, then a bit longer etc.) The baby was very unhappy being away from mum, and she certainly cried in my care. It was a very very long process.

I did wonder whether it would have been better to jump in and do a couple of half days or whole days to see if it helped, but I don't think the baby or her mum would have coped with it.

However, I had the time to spend with the baby, was honest with her mum, and even had a Proud Childminder Moment when I learnt how to rock her to sleep (which even her mum couldn't do even when she tried the same technique at home!!)

Most importantly, if you are happy with your childminder, and she is happy to care for your baby, I think I would persevere. My mindee is now the most glorious toddler you could ever wish to mind, she loves coming to me, and I certainly love having her here, (and her mum is also a lovely person - but I've only said that in case she sees this!)

To be honest, I wouldn't be flattered to recommend another childminder if I wanted to mind the child myself. I'd just feel useless and a complete failure. Whatever problems I may have had with children settling in, it has always worked out in the end with everyone being happy.

Thanks for that. We did start off with longer sessions (as we hadn't anticipated this being such a disaster!) - we tried to get up to 9:30 - 2/3pm, but only made it to the full time a couple of days, as her screaming tended to get a bit manic! That said, she did tend to calm down in the afternoons, as I remember....

Think it sounds like I need to sit down with c/m towards end of next week and just have another chat, & see what we can come up with. She has however, started suggesting (half in jest) another c/m, so I fear she may feel she's reaching the end of the road...

Thx for all your advice...