Male au pair - good idea or no?

[MizZan]

We've had au pairs for quite a number of years and experienced the good, the bad and the truly astonishing...all have been girls/women (other than the younger brother of one previous au pair who came and did a stint for a month one summer and who we knew pretty well before he arrived).

We have two boys. The older one is 13, and your basic early teen nightmare. The younger one is 9. My husband is not around at all during the week. I've been wondering if a male au pair might find a warmer welcome, especially from my older son - he's been very disrespectful to the last two au pairs. And we won't even get started on his attitude to me...He loves sport and I've been thinking if we got a sporty male au pair perhaps that person could be a good role model as well as helping out.

But - am I letting myself in for a massive amount of extra laundry, being eaten out of house and home, late night drunken arrivals at home, video game obsession and inept help around the house? Or am I just stereotyping beyond belief here and actually this could be the greatest thing ever. Welcome any stories you can share - successful or not - and any tips for how to identify the good one(s) as we've been absolutely inundated with applications from young men, who clearly are not finding many au pair opportunities open to them.

thank you!

You're stereotyping!

I've had a male au pair and he was wonderful

You have to screen applications the same way you would with a female au pair - no difference really

Neither of my au pairs male and female so far have been drunken, late home or disrespectful

My SIL has two DSs and has had both male and female au-pairs. The male au-pairs worked out really well as the boys got older and in to sports. They were no messier than the girls.

With boys only I would definitely have male au pairs. I guess how they behave is dependent of their upbringing and your expectations.
I certainly no plenty of girls who binge drink, get rowdy and and unpleasant.
I confess with a lovely nearly 13 year old dd I can't imagine what's not to like
My au pairs go out drinking mostly on a weekend. Never been an issue. Normally they stay in a youth hostel in the city that night. But that's their choice.
Nice to have a good male role model for your boys

If I were to need an au pair now I would def try and find a sporty, healthy, active male. My Ds are 11 and 13 and there is no way they would respond well or have anything in common with a female au pair.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. It's encouraging to hear about the good experiences. I know a couple of people who have had not-so-great ones but maybe it was just bad luck. As it turns out we have started a good conversation with a really nice sounding female au pair for the next few months, but I'll look to find a male one for after that (or sooner, if we don't end up hiring the current candidate).

I have 2 boys, 7 and 4, and a male aupair from Spain. He has been brilliant. He is truly godsend. He is responsible, tidy, good with kids, good eating habits, can cook. I absolutely love him.

I would never dream of hiring a girl aupair with boisterous, sporty boys.
Go for it!

I'm on au pair no. 5, I've had 2 female and 3 male (including current au pair), all Spanish. None of my au pairs have ever come home drunk or been in the least bit disrespectful. The most successful au pairs have been those who have been sports coaches or have worked in some sort of summer/sports camp and they are generally high energy and used to handling boisterousness. The least successful au pair came from an education background, she was very lovely and my kitchen was always spotless, but she was much less able to just join in with the DC's play so she was less fun for them.

I wouldn't rule out a woman for my next au pair, au pair no 1 was female and was happy to play hours of back-garden football, but generally speaking the men tend to fit my parameters better.

There was somebody on here a while ago who had trouble with a male graduate teacher, he was quite argumentative with her but not with her DH, so she got rid of him. But I've never had any of my au pairs be critical of me at all, they are generally keen to just fit in with how I want to run things.

Food wise I make sure that I have lots of bread, potatoes, milk, eggs and tomatoes (which are all fairly cheap) plus a fair amount of fruit and cold meat and then they can make themselves lunch/snacks (they eat dinner with the family). There isn't a vast amount of difference in weekly food spending, but I'm not on a strict budget so I don't pay too much attention.

I think a certain kind of guy applies to be an au pair, and not the standard stereotype.