Things that annoy you about your aupair...

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

Have just given the au pair the heave-ho and a huge weight has lifted. However, I am now enduring the two week notice period with a stroppy teenager.

Thought I would start a lighthearted thread on the annoying things that they do mine does:

Empty the dishwasher but after 6 months still not know where everything goes, so leave it on the side.

Filling the dishwasher with cleaned things left on the side of the sink to dry.

Hoover around things on the floor (rather than put them away). Definitely no hoovering behind doors!

Always let the dog lie in the only ground floor room with carpet, mostly when wet (when specifically told, no dog in this room).

Feed the fat dog treats (we don't have any, she has bought her own!).

The list goes on.

Any one else able to add their experiences?

This thread is weird.
So anyone who uses a nanny, childminder,nursery is a lazy selfish parent?! Fuck that shit. If I could make life easier and less stressful of course I would.

I have three kids only. Two in school. I work 21 hours. DH works pretty standard hours. I could totally choose to survive without an au pair. But I choose to have one because it enhances all our lives. I have reliable and flexible childcare in the home. If the kids are ill I have back-up. I feel supported so am more relaxed. I don't miss time with the baby because I have to clear up toys constantly etc. DH and I can have a social life again as babysitting is part of the package. Our life is more rounded so we are happier and more able to have fun with and enjoy the children. The kids have a older role model they adore. Each departing au pair becomes like a member of our extended family, regularly Skyping and visiting and making the kids feel part of a large clan. So don't look down your nose at me for my childcare choices, it's not about not being able to cope it's about making a choice to enhance my life and the life of my kids.

As someone who works as a nanny I can honestly say that none of the parents I have worked for are lazy or selfish. So I play with the toddler for an hour while the mum and baby sleep. Surely that means the mum has more energy to play later? I can tidy the toys and iron while mum feeds tthe baby so mum can enjoy some quality time with the toddler later.
She could have done it alone but was actually a more effective parent for having me around. How is it any different to, say, having her mum pop round now and again to help out?

And a mum who hires nanny because she wants to work? Some mums simply do not have the personality that suits being a SAHM and you cannot criticise that. It's not lazy. It's not selfish. It's better for the child that they have a fun, enthusiastic carer during the week and quality time with their parents at the weekend than a mum who is bored and grumpy all day everyday.

It's a choice and as long as it's made with EVERYONE'S best interests at heart then that's all that matters.

Hmmm some very aggressive posts here. I too have a gazillion kids, work a billion hours and have re-thatched our roof whilst at least 10 months pregnant all without help. Hurrah for me!

On a serious note, I think PrintScreen is the voice of reason. Although I don't have au pair help I can see that my children's lives would be enhanced if I did. For example, I currently drag all three children out on a Monday night so that Child 1 can attend footie training. We have to stand on a barren pitch for an hour and a half to watch him (not worth going home). My other two children would love to stay indoors reading, running around or even just going to bed. Additionally whilst I'm trying to keep up with laundry, cooking, etc my children aren't getting the attention they would get if I had some help.

Occasionally my lovely next door neighbour's 17 year old son pops in. Whilst I get dinner, he shows the boys magic tricks or takes the youngest on the trampoline and tries to bounce him off. My children love him. Sometimes he gets dinner whilst I play snooker with child 1 or read to child 2 or play with child 3. Everyone benefits when he is at our house.

Op I completely understand, especially regarding your comment regarding not wanting to drag everyone out in the car. I think you've been unlucky with your au pair. I wish you much luck in your pregnancy and I'm also sending you a supportive hug. Try not to pay too much attention to the roof thatchers. Take care of yourself.

Goodness me there are some shockingly unimaginative posters on here tonight!

I cannot imagine how ignorant you would have be to think that your way of doing childcare is the only acceptable way.

Do these posters have no friends? No family whose circumstances may differ from their own?

How sad it must be to live such a narrow life. How sad for the children.

What annoys me about my au pair is that she doesn't exist.

The bitch.

Lazy and selfish? Wowee.

FWIW if we had room I would hire an au pair. I'd like to go back to working out of the house. My kids don't want to go to after school club and do lots of after-school activities. Someone who could walk them from A to B around the village and gift them s snack would be perfect.

I think parents should be able to do whatever they want to if it is beneficial to their family.

But starting a lighthearted thread slagging off/taking the piss out of an employee YOU interviewed and chose is a little bit off.

Have any childcare you like, change it when you like, sack who you like - but petty bitching about them after the fact doesn't reflect well, particularly when you used your judgement to choose them. What does that say about you? You chose an au pair for your three children who couldn't look after children or do house stuff the way you wanted. Winning decision there .

Glitter mud

I feel very sorry for the children of those of you who think it's so selfish and lazy to hire help. What if your own children go on to make different parenting choices to you?
But I highly doubt your imagination could possibly stretch that far.

I clicked on this thread because out of habit I click on all things au pair related. However, I really disliked the title. I think even if it was meant in jest it's rude.

The response to the OP though is insane. A lot of people here are mums. We should be finding ways to support one another and yet we do this.
It's really really sad. Good luck with your new arrival OP. I'm in awe of all people with more than one child. I'm scared of having anymore. I hope you have a bit of support over the next few weeks.

Ps having an au pair is not a first world problem. If I didn't have one I just couldn't work as a single mum. I would be on benefits.

I'm too busy chuckling to read all the posts.
Each to their own. We have 4 dc all under 12. Under 10 when dc 4 arrived. Couldn't wait to get rid of au pairs so I could be on mat leave and enjoy my family. Dh works away. So I come from a different perspective.
No au pair is going to do things the way you do. Ours always put stuff away in the wrong places. I appreciate not emptying the diswasher. My dh can't vacuum the way I do and again I appreciate au pairs just knowing where the vacuum lives!
Entertaining kids.. Dora the explorer. I work days when there's stuff on. I know I'm no play school mum! I do the odd craft, the odd park trip.. Mostly I sort the house around looking after the kids.

If you think all parents who hire a nanny or aupair are selfish and lazy, why are you on the Home Childcare thread?

Because now that MN has gone bigger than a Very Big Thing the proportion of utter divs who patrol the boards determined to have a dig has also, unfortunately, exponentially grown.

OP - sounds terrible!

I have two teen DSSs and I wouldn't wish them as au pairs upon my worst enemy . Housework skills are very undeveloped.

However, they are very responsible when looking after DD (10) and engage her fully - and always have done. Your au pair sounds very feeble.

She is considerably younger/less jaded than me.

She goes out into Paris, socialising with her friends, on evenings when she is not working.

She eats highly calorific food without any noticeable detrimental effects.

She seems to have different views/aspirations to me.

She doesn't smile very much when ironing my vast piles of Sloggi underwear.

My children seem to love her.

She is not overly keen on smacking my 4 children as instructed.

(Just a few of the things that clearly annoyed my employer about me, a million years ago, when I was an au pair).

Can I just ask, how would it go if something started a thread called 'things that annoy you about parents' from a nanny/au pair perspective?

I'm getting quite fed up of generalisations and people-bashing that's going on in MN at the moment. Yes, some au pairs aren't as good at their jobs. Just like in any profession, there are some who are good and some who are bad. same as employers

Inviting people to slate others is not nice, whether light hearted or not.

Absolutely agree with you Lego.

Thank you Printscreen for being the voice of reason. And for all the others who actually get why you have au pairs.

Recruit wisely, set expectations, follow through, give weekly feedback, you are the adult employer. Dont come on mumsnet and slag your employee off because you made a mistake in your recruitment.

Another reason to have au pairs is the obvious language help. My childrens second language would not have been as good if we hadnt had au pairs helping me speak with them and practice.

Finally, yes we are the parents but we cannot teach our children everything. Why is it wrong to introduce another person to help you complement your parenting? For example I am terrified of dogs, and have no idea how to handle them. One previous aupair was great with animals and have taught the children how to approach and handle dogs, something I could never have done. Just one example of how our amazing aupairs have enriched our family.

Did anyone miss the part where I am now £1000 out of pocket because we gave her wifi in her annexe (quite expensive per month!) but told her NOT to use the phone (essential to install the wifi!) whilst giving her a mobile??!!

I think I can slag her off all I want!!

Well you're certainly entitled to be pissed off, but in the context of employer/employee "slagging her off" isn't very professional.

If I made a mistake in my job, I'd expect my manager to be pissed off. I wouldn't expect her to slag me off publicly, or privately.

But don't you think it would have been better to post a thread asking for support about your particular disaster? I'm not saying you didn't have bad luck, but instead of just wanting a bit of a rant about your situation, you've invited people to slate all au pairs. That's how it reads, anyway...