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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

So thrilled! Can't believe I've got an au pair coming in July

14 replies

sakura · 04/04/2015 08:12

I've been a single mother for three months, and returned to the UK a few months ago. I thought about not working for about 6 months to settle the children in but then got a job handed to me on a plate so thought "why not?".
I signed up to a childcare website, not looking for an au pair, but a local nanny who could pick up my children from after school club and work 4 hours a day from 4:30 to 8:30 when I return home.
Had responses from 2 nannies and a German au pair who happened to be holidaying in my area for Easter. All women were lovely (of course) but this young German woman was just brimming with enthusiasm and love for England (?) and its culture and had brought German chocolates for both my children. How could I not have hired her?
I think it's the best choice for a single mother like me because I'll be able to do things like pop out for a pint of milk or leave one child in the house while I run the other child to a hobby etc instead of always having to drag both of them everywhere with me because I'm on my own.

Any tips, advice, warnings welcome :)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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bunnyhipsdontlie · 04/04/2015 09:28

You sound like a previous OP... HEr story was a bit different though.

Any advice? Don't make your AP work too much, she is not a 24 hours cover, give her set hours.

I don't know, for the rest, be nice to her and enjoy the journey ;) . Maybe be sure to be clear with what you expect/accept/don't accept from the beginnng before it becomes a problem. (For example if she uses her phone too much or use the bathroom just when you need it before work, things like that)

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 10:51

I'm assuming you've checked her experience, references etc and not just hired her because she brought chocolate. have you drawn up a contract?

Artandco · 04/04/2015 11:53

Remember that you can't just pop out for milk etc if it's not within her working hours, otherwise she is working more and constantly being asked to just watch, just help.

So between 4.30-8.30pm sure. But asking her before or after then needs to be paid extra as she's not on call 24/7

Set up a mini home within her room if possible. So small tv, kettle and cups, mini fridge for small milk/ cold drinks. Etc. that way on say a Sunday morning she doesn't have to be up and interacting with kids at 7am being social as sometimes it's nice to be able to wake and make some tea or something in peace. Especially if living in same place as work

Original poster

sakura · 04/04/2015 12:25

Hi, thanks for the replies.

bunnyhipsdon'tlie what was the story with the previous poster?? I don't want her to work too much. I made it clear to her that she had Fri-Sun off and wasn't expected to do cleaning, and she was disappointed (?) and said she wanted to be involved in what we did at the weekend, so that suits me fine because it would be nice to have another adult with the children when we go on drives or to restaurants etc. She is not obligated of course. It was just a preference she expressed. She doesn't seem the type of person who would want to just be left to do her own thing and if she is here to learn about the culture then that does make sense.

msgrinch she brought her references with her and the agency I met her through was a paid agency who carry out background checks and she already has had one, which I would be able to request for a small fee. Tbh, the chocolates did sway it for me though. It was such a personal touch, she got a "girl's chocolates" for my girl and "boys' chocolates for my boy. It gave me the impression she really wanted the job and yes, I did hire her on the basis that she had thought it through well and that she had made an effort to make a good impression. I was also pleased to see she was just in the UK travelling as it shows she is quite organized and has some financial backing from her parents.

Artando. Good idea about mini fridge and kettle in the room. Thank you. It's not a 16 hour contract. It would be a 25 hour contract :) So I guess would probably fill that out by asking her to look after the children at set hours, such as the hour my daughter has a hobby.

Don't know why I'm so excited. I think it's because having another adult in the house would just be nice.

OP posts:

ChocolateBiscuitCake · 04/04/2015 15:22

Don't do it…

(have just started a thread so a little tongue in cheek!)

PrintScreen · 04/04/2015 15:23

Enjoy OP.

We treat our au pairs as part of the family and they do the same. Therefore I would not hesitate to occasionally ask our au pair to hold the fort while I buy milk outside her standard hours. Similarly she would to hesitate to ask me to pick her up something from the shop. As long as you are sensitive and kind you will be fine.

I love having au pairs. Having another adult around is a godsend practically but also fun for the kids and good company for me. Like the much famed traditional extended family that is now so rare.

Original poster

sakura · 04/04/2015 16:54

Thanks for words of encouragement Printscreen :)

OP posts:

blueshoes · 04/04/2015 17:50

A good aupair is life changing. We have generally had good experiences wih German aupairs bar two

How old are your children? Are your work hours fixed or do you require flexibility to be late occasionally?

Original poster

sakura · 04/04/2015 19:52

Hi blueshoes,
Yes, I feel that exactly. That it would be life changing for somebody in my circumstances.

What was the problem with two of your German aupairs? I've never really had anything to do with Germany, or the people, although I did visit it for 2 weeks at Christmas once as a student.

My children are 8 and 5. My work hours are fixed as 12-8 Mon to Thurs then Fri 10-3. The children would go to after school club until 4:30.

OP posts:

chloeb2002 · 05/04/2015 00:17

Our German au pairs have been great! Several of them now over several years!
They are part of the family. No set hours. I don't abuse them tho! Often plans need to be fluid when your the only adult home. Similarity out au pairs have Friday to Sunday off.
They also have been a little unsure about so much free time until they find friends.
You will love it and not look back.
We don't have any food drinks etc in their room. Maybe because of my fear of teenage girls and mess! I don't need food and drink mess too! Our aps share our bathrooms too. They have satellite tv in their room and are quite happy to chill out on a morning despite the chaos in the house

mikulkin · 05/04/2015 16:42

It is really fantastic experience. When my DS went to boarding school I had to let her go and actually miss her in our home. She still comes to see us during school holidays. Good luck, OP, I am sure you will enjoy this experience!

Original poster

sakura · 05/04/2015 21:11

Thank you chloeb2002 and mikulkin It's so nice to hear your experiences. Having just returned to the UK after living in Asia for 10 years, I will be enjoying experiencing British culture myself. If she really wants to spend time with us at the weekends then it really could be fun: cream teas, picnics on the grass, roast dinners (not me cooking though, I was thinking of country pubs :)

OP posts:

chloeb2002 · 06/04/2015 22:24

Sakura I think you have just the right attitude for an au pair "mum"

OneDecisionMade · 09/04/2015 07:10

I've never known an au pair to be awake on a Sunday morning at 7am lol

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