childrens ages

[bakingwithbananas]

We have a lovely nanny (shared with another family), who currently looks after 2 children both aged 2. One family also has a baby, and the mum will be going back to work in a little while - so our nanny will be taking care of all 3.

BUT she struggles with tiredness (health reasons) so I want to figure out how we can make this easier for her: 2 x 3-year-olds plus a 9-month-old isn't going to be easy!

The older children will be getting their 3-year-old funding after easter so will be in nursery for part of the day.

So - what would be easier:
a) both older children in nursery at the same time, so she would have at least a few hours a day with just the baby, and the rest of the day with all 3 (nice on the days the older ones play nicely together, not so good when they fight! They do usually play nicely together, but have their moments as all children do)
or b) one child at nursery in the morning, and the other at nursery in the afternoon (again, she would also have the baby all day) - but might mean quite a lot of to-ing and fro-ing.

One will be at a school nursery (not sure whether you can get any wrap-around there), the other at a nearby private nursery (so could do longer half-days to allow for pickup/drop-off at different times)

Or is this going to be too much - especially when she isn't feeling very well? What is it like looking after 3 at those ages? I can't imagine it, but I'm not a childcare professional!

A third option would be to juggle things around with other childcare (family, extended hours at nursery) so that some days she has 1 toddler plus baby, and other days she just has the 2 toddlers. Do you think this is more sensible?

Before someone tells me just to ask her (!), I want to have some ideas in place (and speak to relevant family/cost things up) before we open the discussion so that we can make a quick decision with her about how we do it, and she isn't left feeling uncertain about it all.

Unless the nurseries are very close-by I would go for A. Constant school drop-off/pick ups are a nightmare. In the winter she'd have to get three children into shoes/coats/hats/gloves and take one to school, then come back and take all the shoes/coats off, then back on to pick the first one up, then home for lunch, then back on to take the second one, then home, then back out to pick up the second one. It would be on/off with all the coats etc. 4 times a day. The little one would spend ages each day just to and from school.

If it were me and I were given the choice I'd rather they not go to nursery at all, because it's easier having three children full time with no timetable/school runs, than having a few hours with just the baby, but constant running about. If you can, finding someone to do the school runs would be helpful.

If you want to make things easier for her I would concentrate on other things tbh. Making sure there is sufficient shopping in, cutting down the amount of cooking she has to do, reducing other nursery duties, making sure there are wipes/nappies upstairs and downstairs so she isn't having to run up and down all day, having a stock of 'quiet' activities for the older ones to do sometimes (stickers, colouring etc.). I find caring for the children the easiest part of my job, the tricky bit is caring for the children and shopping/cooking/running errands etc.

It's really nice that you're trying to make things easier for her though. It would probably be easier for you to just get a new nanny.

I agree, having all 3 should be fine. If using nursery option then better they go to the same nursery/pre-school.

Look at when toddler groups are on, can be easier taking all 3 to the group, then have older two at nursery/pre-school during afternoon (if toddler group is morning).

when does the baby nap? Is it possible for both dc to be at nursery when baby naps, so nanny gets a break for an hour in the day at some point? I'm a cm and this might be my preferred option. From experience, It might be a real faff going to 2 different nurseries though.

I looked after two 3 year old and a 9 month old about 18 months ago. I loved it. 3 year olds are really keen to learn, be taken out, go on nature walks, build things, make things etc and the 9 month old was happy to tag along and watch what was going on, sit at the table and join in as appropriate.

I agree with the others. Running backwards and forwards to pre-school/nursery can be really tiring. I'd rather have all three with me.

Ask her.

I've a close friend who is a nanny in a nanny share, and she finds it easier to have more than one small child at a time, once they are mobile/fully interactive/no naps. They largely play together, and refereeing is much easier than constantly being entertainments officer!

As wonderful as it is that you are making this easy for her, it's her job, if she is finding it hard, my knee jerk reaction is to say she should find alternate work.

However in the interests of answering your post, scenario A is better, I hate hate hate doing multiple pick ups in the wintery/standard uk weather. It's so miserable having to get children dressed to go out when they just don't want to, and neither do I!!

But this shouldn't be about what's easiest for your nanny, but best for the families and children. If this conflicts then you should be saying goodbye to nanny!

Thank you - that's really helpful. I hadn't really thought that it's the logistics of getting the children places which is toughest, rather than actually looking after them.

We'll definitely look into how to simplify nursery logistics. Both families are keen for the older children to start having some nursery time, but we should be able to sort timings to make it a single trip for pickup /drop-off. And I'll ask her whether there are any other things we can do like the ones you suggest, outraged.

East London - naturally, the children's best interests come first. But I'm also willing to adapt and be flexible in order to help things run smoothly. We're really happy with her, and the children love and trust her - that's worth making an effort for!

Agree have older two at nursery same days - means baby also gets 121 with nanny rather then just lives in the car (or buggy)

Yes you may love your nanny but if you think she may struggle /not cope with 3 children then this would concern me - often shares so break up when one family has a 2nd child because Of this reason

Tho again any capable nanny should be able to look after what is like 3yr twins and baby

If you need to start getting rid of a child to relatives Etc to make it easier for nanny then you need to think about getting a nanny who can cope with all 3 - or split the share

I think that the only thing I'd consider would be the children being in nursery at the same time for the baby's benefit, not the nanny's.

If it's impacting her work, she needs to work out how to stop that happening. It's nice that you care about her health though! I say this as a nanny who has chronic pain and fatigue problems. I had to cut my hours drastically in order to function outside of work so I can understand that she may find it difficult, but I would never expect a family I work for to compensate for my health issues.