CM:Ok at the risk of being shot down in flames again

[StrawberryFULLMoonOWOWOWWWWWWW]

my mindee whom i 'DO' like, but am having a few teething prbs with while she gets used to us and the way we generally do things...has, over today and some of last week, actually destroyrd some of dd's/playroom's toys..toys that dd has sadi she will share but never the less..it was peppa pig house, dd's christmas present alst year..mindee wanted to play while dd was setting it up, so she stood on it!..cracked handle off, broke legs off charichters and flattend two of the little plastic chairs.

bitten heads off her (little people size) scooby doo and shaggy and threw dd's talking dora across the room into the wall and it's no longer a talking dora and the sally car from cars we just bought has had its face ripped off.

she has done most in front of me, others whilst im out of room ie doing lunch..

I have taken away the toy, explain if she trys to break things she doesnt get to play with them and tell her its wrong to break/rip/damage toys especially those that are XXX's (mine, meaning not her own!)..but it doesnt seem to register?

yes i see you POV totally Xena , sometimes i say things to dd and think well what did i expect her to say??..just with mindee last week was very'if i dont want something ill just cry and shell get the picture eventually' today i prob stepped in too soon?!
not being mine i dont know how far to take things like saying you break the toys you get time out?..i just take them away, but the rate shes working at, shell have nothing left to play with and thats just not fun and still not getting anywhere.

hi Katymac, just wondering where you wer lately
i dont know?..i really dont..i hope once reg comes through i can advertise and care for one or two more children and maybe i will see that this mindee is quite average in behaviour!..i just wrongly assumed at 3 she would be similar to other children i know of that age, wrong of me

she was 3 end of sept and spent her birthday with us as mum had just started uni and father(theyre not together anymore) was busy?!
she is generally very happy here, we do all sorts of fun stuff and go to lots of playgroups, softplay etc..just once we get in here with what i think is a fab room full of nice toys, she changes?
but being only child(although my dd is too and doesnt mean much!) and not having any friends her age, she doest share things and everything is "mine"..whcih we're working succefully onso she makes more frnds when nrsery comes round in jan

The other best piece of advice (which you wouldn't normally think to give) I was given was that before you take on a child you need to see how they will affect the dynamics of the group as a whole its very easy when you are starting just to want your vacancies filled without considering how it will affect your group and thus your daily life.

good advice!

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i ama actually hoping for a baby mindee..and maybe one or at a push 2(until i get my own/bigger car) part time/before and after schoolers.
present mindee gos to school nursery in jan on afternoons so hopefully they will help me to help her too.

toatally deflecting for a min ere...... ......... but it really p*ses me off that a parent cant take a f*kin day off on their childs birthday! very very !!!

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thought the same!!..should have been them organising little party, not me..we bought presents, cake, balloons, party food, played games had disco and invited children who shed never met(although she loved it!)..bt i would have just said sod it, its dd;s birthday im not coming in..but thats me!

good for you strawb!
ive done parties for mindees every year and it never ceases to amaze me why a parent would not want to spend their childs birthday with them?
my ds's are older now but i always took days off on their bdays.i wouldnt even contemplate not being with my child on their special day!
imo nothing is more important then family..............least off all WORK!!!

It is a sad fact that I can't remember not having a mindee on their birthday

sorry for giving too much advice but I have always found it easier to have two older mindees rather than 1 so that they have someone for them too iyswim?

Haven't read all of thread but it sounds like it's going to be a lot of time and patience needed with this child to get her behaving reasonably - why don't you say you can't manage her behaviour and start again when you are registered?

I've taken a whole week off for Ds's birthday!

hi amphion..this is why i asked, as im not sure wether this is just the nomr and other friends children are an exeption??..today i have been terribly ill again, dd has also caught bug..but mindees mum still left her with us..so after school run instead of going to normal cm group/playgroup..we went straight back to our, put tv on in front room(which we never do!), found nick jr, brought in table with paper, pens pencils etc and i sat on sofa next to mindee whilst she happily sat drawing pictures until time to collect dd..lovely..so am at a loss?!
seems its the 'if i cant have it neither can you' situation with her??
she even ate ALL her lunch today(granted i halved her portion 'again'), but at least she got to see how much praise you get when you do something good like that!..so she got a treat afterwards (two tiny halloween chocs, a yougurt in a tube which they go mad for! and a sugar free halloween lolly!)..yes i know all sweeties but as well as halloween it was a very special occasion!

Is she getting worn out with all the busyness at your house? If she is an only chi9ld who is just 3, she may well still be used to having a nap in the day, and her good reaction to telly and colouring might show that this is more the sort of thing she is used to?

Also, my son was exactly like this at 3 (growing out of it now at 3.5, but still sometimes)

He would reply to anything he couldn't explain with 'don't know'. His developement, communicationwise, is a bit slow, maybe hers is too?

IME she is a 'young 3@ i know that sounds ridiculous!!..she has no special needs by any means, just takes a little ,longer to grasp small things and understand....we dont actually 'plan' too much, we normally go to a play group mon, tue and wed, then thur, fri go to park for couple of housrs, then back here for lunch and varied play ie: stories, painting, or even just the girls playing without me involved with the little people or pretending to be scooby doo or someone...if they both paint/draw etc one of them always gets bored quickly??

she does still have a nap most days and im learning to recognise when she needs one.

i think i may have misjudged her ability and will have to look at it again..with reg to breaking toys etc..thats going to be watched carefully too!