Childcare advice - nanny, au pair, all new to me!

[NoGoodAtHousework]

My husband and I are going through a rough time and I am seriously considering leaving him, I am trying to get my head round the practicalities of the care of our 3 year old. I am in a demanding role with varied hours and very occasional stop aways and my husband, although in a less unpredictable job can work late occasionally.

If we were to split, to offer the flexibility we may need - please no opinions on priorities etc, just advice on the best kind of childcare - what arrangement would give us someone who could do drop and pick up from school, and evenings until one of us (whosever house it is) got home but could also step in for illness if he couldn't go to school?

I am open to live in/out or anything else anyone could suggest.

We could stay as we are, just in separate houses and somehow split the drop offs and pick ups from out of school clubs etc but he would spend all week between houses potentially unless one of us was to take the lions share?

any advise would be most appreciated....its a new line of enquiry thats been triggered by a suggestion by my dad to ensure DS stays in a better area than where he may end up should he move with his dad back to our old town (more support network & possibly stability but not the greatest of places)

For age 3 I would say a nanny.

If he was in full daycare nursery, so doing say 8am-6pm at nursery than an aupair might work as they would not be doing many hours of sole charge care.

Would an aupair or nanny be able to cope with a ill child, not sure, depends on the person and depends on the illness. You may not want to leave your son if he is ill.

If you had a nanny, then they could do full time care. You could send your son to pre-school a few mornings a week during term time if you felt it was useful.

He is in full time nursery now and has been since tiny, I'm more thinking for when he goes to school

I'm not thinking major ill, more like those times when were struck down by the dreaded 48hour rule to be honest, so rare but can happen where a school day would be come a full day at short notice. Thanks for the advice

I would keep him at nursery to keep his life the same for the moment, but add a regular nanny/babysitter to pick him up look after him until you get back. You could reduce his hours at nursery so he has tea at home. Maybe look for a student who could do it after college. This would keep his life the same but give you some extra childcare. Assuming he is not going to school in september maybe look out for someone who could do the school pick up and cover the second day of sickness ect This could be a nwoc or a nanny share or another mum.

thank you, its definitely worth thinking more about. :)