Should I get an au pair?

[creativevoid]

I am a single mum with 2 DS, nearly 5 and nearly 7. I work full time in a demanding job and have the boys 4 nights per week. I am alone in the city we live in. My family is abroad and I don't have many friends here as we've only been here 2.5 years. Basically I have no backup at all. Their father lives nearby but our relationship is very strained (he was EA) so I don't ask him for anything and we keep to our court ordered plan to the letter.

Through a combination of work being flexible and very healthy kids my current childcare works well (kids club, childminder, flexible working) and the boys are happy. However I have NO backup at all if the boys are ill, I am ill, or something comes up at work. I am thinking of getting an au pair but could use some MN wisdom.

Pros: flexibility, boys could have play dates or do classes instead of kids club. I could cycle to work, go to the gym occasionally and have a bit more freedom.

Cons: someone else (a teenager!) living in my house, boys still very young, no backup if it doesn't work out with au pair and I've lost my place at kids club.

I'd appreciate others' thoughts and experiences.

There are lots of very mature excellent au pairs around, there are thousands of uni students that are in their 20ies looking for summer placements as well, why dont you employ a summer au pair and see how you go?

I would definitely get one to give you the flexibility you need... And a bit of time to yourself.
Or even a live-in mother's help. They will be older, muck in more with anything you need doing (shopping, cleaning, cooking. Etc). I've just been quoted £150pw by an agency for 40 hours of help from
A mother's help a week. They tend to be older with good childcare experience

That's interesting Oly. I didn't know they existed. The live in element is what I need but I am nervous about having an inexperienced teenager, especially as I have two active boys who can really be a handful. They have also been through a lot so if I could get a more permanent solution than year by year that would be better.

I also live in a city with good universities and was thinking about trying to find a mature(ish) student doing something education-related who was looking to keep their costs down and maybe get some experience...

When I was an au pair I was offered an extension to my contract at the end of my year. Had we talked about it sooner I would have definitely accepted. That being said, even as a professional nanny I aim to stay as long as possible with a family, however, I don't think you can expect anyone to stay longer than a year to be honest.

There are plenty of older au pairs, but don't underestimate the younger ones who have huge amounts of energy to keep up with two young boys. Perhaps look for one who has experience with the local scout and youth services, or has worked in a summer camp and has evidence of a real love for working with children.