Dealing with parents

[getawaynow]

How do I cope with a mother who tries to make things more difficult. For example turning on cartoons when we are trying to get ready for preschool, saying no treats due to bad behaviour at the weekend however giving treats while dinner is cooking. Trying to hold my tongue as they are the parent but feel I am being undermined!!

Quit!

It'll only get worse, trust me, been there, done that, they never change, no matter how often you talk to them and they agree, they go back to driving you insane in less than a week!

I now tell prospective employers at interview that I will not be the bad guy, if they turn the TV on, they have to turn it off, if they give treats then so do I otherwise I will say to the children 'nasty mummy/daddy has told me that I am not allowed to let you have chocolate/crisps/tv', it's hard enough as it is without the children hating you for something out of your control.

Ok thanks for the reply. This is new to me as with the last family I worked for we all worked as a team. Communication was wonderful, I only left as all the children began school. This new job is very very different. The kids are wonderful though. I wouldn't say "nasty" mummy/daddy to the children.

Callaird would you honestly say "nasty mummy/daddy"!!

Think you do need to have a chat and discuss all working together

If after this and still continues then even tho the children are lovely you need to decide whether you can put up with it

I'd have a chat with them. A proper, sit-down, without the children conversation about it all. Give them one chance. If it doesn't improve I'd start looking for another job.

I'll be ready for a meeting on Monday. Thank you all.

No of course I wouldn't say that to the children!! I tell the parents that that is what I would say. From their reaction I then know whether or not we will be on the same page.

"I will say to the children 'nasty mummy/daddy has told me that I am not allowed to let you have chocolate/crisps/tv"

And you find people to hire you???????

Of course she finds people to hire her!
People who understand perfectly that she's being tongue in cheek and would never in a million years actually say that to the kids, but who recognise that it's unfair to undermine her position by making her into Evil Nanny.

Bunnyhipsdontlie - if you re read my post you will see that that paragraph says "I now tell prospective employers at interview....."

I've been a nanny for 28 years, I have had 9 permanent positions and a few temp jobs, they all understand what I mean and that's all that matters.

Thanks Tanith - you say it much more succinctly than I do!

Callaird...ha! Ha!...like you I have been a nanny for ever and I find I interview the parents as much as they do me..Over all these years..(and as a young nanny in the 80s I had parents just like this, didn't know how to approach so left) I have realized the type of parents I can work with...I have turned down jobs because I can tell I.m gonna be the bad person...I have never been out of work...OP..you must have a sit down chat...write things down if your likely to get muddled..point out to them that DCs will be much happier with everyone following the same rules...like PP it will only get worse...good luck