Nanny may want to return with own child

[BehindTheCurtain]

Our nanny, currently on maternity leave, had made some comments which suggest she expects to come back with her baby, who would be about 7/8 months by then. DCs will be infant school and preschool age and our days are long, 11 hours minimum plus extra babysitting/overtime sometimes at short/no notice, due to the nature of our jobs and the long commute. I cannot see how the arrangement could work, especially given the nanny now lives over an hour away from us, the school run is tricky as it is and one of the kids has additional needs (not formally diagnosed, but I suspect it is a question of time).

I am not convinced that the nanny has given the issue some proper thought, because I think if she had she would have realised the difficulties. The question is when and how to bring it up. She has always been a reliable nanny and I want to be more than fair to her, by giving her as much time as possible to make other arrangements (for all I know her husband may want to become a SAHP and she might be able to continue as before), but I also do not want to mar her maternity leave with stress. On the other hand, I do not want her to assume a NWOC arrangement is a given, which is what she seems to be doing at the moment (she has said both that she would need to come back to work soon and that she would not put her baby in nursery). I fully realise we need to talk. The question is when would be best and how to approach it.

Any advice, especially by people who have been in the same situation, both employers and nannies,mould be welcome.

yes the nanny will get free childcare but what generally happens is that her rate will be less, so that the parents get cheaper childcare

not sure about employment laws and not contacting when on ml, but surely in a nannies position you can enquire if they plan to come back with baby

or simply write a nice letter saying you look forward to nanny coming back on xxx date (9mths or 12mths) later without her child

I am at some of the comments here... neglect ? Free childcare?

Thank god my families have been amazing and I've not struggled to find work as a nwoc. I work my fucking ass off for my families and I would be very offended to hear anyone suggest that it is the children of my employers who suffer.

OP you are well within your rights to tell her that it's not an arrangement you want for your family. But have that conversation soon.

I find it surprising anyone thinks its needs to be brought up at all. Nanny hasn't mentioned it, so neither should anyone else.
Since when did employers start guessing what employees might want to ask for in the future and pre-emptively raise issues before they exist?

Since they strongly suspect that their employee has wrongly assumed something/misunderstood?

If you know or even think that someone has got the wrong end of the stick you correct them. That's not an employee/employer issue, it's just basic decency. I find it surprising that anyone doesn't understand that.

I have 4dc so have done lots of juggling etc. Have used a wonderful childminder but never a Nanny.

I would only consider a Nanny bringing their own child if it was reflected in their salary and I was happy with the change it would make in the care and attention my dc received. It certainly wouldn't be automatically fine.

Perhaps a compromise of the nanny's child coming some days could work well but that is the Ops decision. It sounds like you need a live-in nanny tbh.

You can strongly suspect whatever you want, if your employee hasn't asked for a change to their working conditions, you shouldn't be telling them they can't have them.

Of course you should. Particularly in a nanny/parent situation where the relationship is so close. You can absolutely set her straight re. bringing her baby. It's the decent thing to do.

I was under the same impression dancing witch. Agree with you and countess. Unless she asks why would you bring it.up ?

Because if she has misunderstood/wrongly assumed and thinks she is coming back to work with her baby it will be quite a shock to her when she turns up first day back with the baby.....

She shouldn't have assumed obviously, but that doesn't mean the OP shouldn't correct her.

Have you never wrongly assumed anything Stealth? And would you not want someone to correct you?

The nanny is facing finding a new job or finding childcare. The decent thing to do is give her time to do that. I cannot believe people don't understand this!

As if she's going to just turn up on the day with her baby, and no discussion! If that was the case Op should be worried more about the fact that the nanny has the IQ of a potato than anything else. Now, how about we assume that neither OP or her nanny is a total idiot, and stick to a proper employer/employee relationship (something far too many people don't do with childcare). Be professional.

Difficult. shes entitled to enjoy her leave without being questioned abt her return.
Surely she wants to know how much shell be paid! so she will raise it.

The OP doesn't need to question her about her return. She just needs to tell her that she can't bring the baby, which she should have done as soon as she realised the nanny had misunderstood.

I don't think she'll just turn up on the day countess. I may have been exaggerating for dramatic effect. I do think she might leave it until a month/few weeks before she returns though. You wouldn't normally start discussing your return to work before that would you? A month is not a lot of time for the nanny to find a new job or the OP to find a new nanny. It is in everyone's best interests to get this sorted asap. Many people manage to be both professional and decent at the same time. It is not unprofessional to correct someone when they've made a mistake. It's kind.