CM club: I can't cope!! Finding childminding really hard

[mumbomama]

I am a new childminder, been doing it for 4 months.
I have been lucky enough to get plenty of work (which I know some childminders have struggled with) but I'm really not enjoying it.

I have a 9mth old 7:30-5:30 4 days a week, who I love looking after.

But I also have two 4 year olds before and after school and they drive me mad. I really don't enjoy looking after other peoples children and when it comes to the weekend I am so sick of children I am not enjoying my own

I feel so trapped as there is no other job that I can do. My own dd is 2 years and I have two school age boys.

I am so unhappy, my life just consists of kids and cleaning!

Sorry for the moan, I have no-one else to talk to

What about giving notice to the older ones

and keeping the baby

Sorry you are feeling like this

I agree with RTKM - invariably the older ones don't work out for me - so I have now started to refuse to take them on

Now my only older ones (4 & above) are ones that have been with me for a long time - newer older children just don't settle to my rules

Don't feel bad about the older ones...enjoy the baby

I also agree with the others and am doing the same as KM. I am registered for 6 under 5's (with assistance) and the only other 2 older ones (both 9 and SN) I have had for a loooong time. I find small people much easier and more rewarding than the schoolies. It took me a long time to come to the decision to stop having over 5's but it was the right decision for me and I have been doing this job a lot longer than you so if you really dont want schoolies then give notice and get another smallie. After all you have to enjoy this job or it gets you down.

I only do under 5's too. When I first started I went from just ds (aged 2½) to 5 kids, all in a few weeks. 2 of the mindees were older, 5 & 8 and I just hated it. Had no experience with older children like that, they took me for a ride, were horrible to ds and many things like attitude problems. I'm much happier with my 3 under 5's now and have no intention of taking on new older children, well, at least not for a long time! I will however keep current mindees until they are much older, if their parents want me of course!

I found the first year of childminding quite hard to get used to but if you get the right mix of children, it can be lovely

in agreement with the others,i think you would be wise to give notice to the older ones and see how you go from there.
childminding is a job you should get much enjoyment from not be feeling trapped.
really hope it all works out for you.

How would you suggest giving notice for the older children?

What would you say to the parents?

You do not really have to give a reason.
As long as you give the amount of notice as agreed on your contract you will be ok.
If asked/if you want to give a reason you could say either you are finding school run difficult (too many children to collect?), or that whole situation too difficult and just not working out.

Good luck with whatever you decide but must agree that older children are harder to care for.

Hi Mumbomama, you have my sympathy, I used to find childminding a lot harder when my own children were young - when the mindees went home your work just carries on! It can make a difference to change the mix of children to suit your circumstances - do this if it will help.

I hope you don't mind me saying that childminding is a very hard job and you have to keep cheerful and positive, but there are great plus-points too:

your own children will become marvellously socialised by constant interaction with others (yes, including the arguing!)

you can have a cup of coffee whenever you like!

you have no boss or colleagues annoying you

you will develop great reserves of patience!

it's interesting dealing with the different families and watching the children's development

you will have lovely moments with the mindees when they say something funny, learn something new, that make it all worthwhile

it's a tax efficient way of earning money

you can take out a stakeholder pension - I have one with no agent, did it over the internet, and just make contributions when I have the money - the government adds to it when I do

every penny you earn is going to help your own family and children - music lessons, school trips etc

if you get in touch with other childminders you can have a lot of laughs, company and support.

You are doing a very, very worthwhile job

You are not stuck in an office, you keep fit with all that pushing buggies to and from the school run!

... a cup of coffee whenever you like??? ... I wish!!!

Lose the older ones and you would be happy by the sound of it.

Not the same - but I am being driven demented by a pre school group of nearly 4 year olds. I have decided to wait until the 1 and 2 year olds that I teach are 4 before taking 4 year olds again, because they know the score.

.....alright perhaps I should have said you can get a cup of coffee but you will probably not finish it! - I've just spent the afternoon with mindees and own DS making the K'nex roller coaster - and have only just finished! I need therapy now!

Thankyou amphion- It's easy to lose sight of the good stuff sometimes.

Thanks to everyone else for the replies. It's reassuring just to know that others feel the same about older children. I was feeling really useless at my job, not coping with them.

just let the parents know and give them a few days to find other arrangements, a childminder i had when ds was younger texted me at midnight during the christams hols to say she couldent have ds anymore and then avoided me around the school after that for a few months so as long as you dont do that they will understand !lol

hey, I gave notice to a parent by text late at night during christmas hols a few yrs ago. I had a reason though, the 15 hr pr week contract ended up as an hour every month which I was keeping a full time place for. and it was v short notice as in im stuck at college finishing an exam which I forgot about so could you pick up x in 10 minutes.
I never avoided parents though and I wasnt causing a big problem for them. I think they juzt had a cm to get extra money from their college though cos once Id signed their form, thats when the hours went down.

anyway back to the subject, I only take preschool now cos I prefer them to older kids.
I do have schoolage mindees but they have been with me for a while.

Oh I meant to add that the below parents used to text me in the midde of the night and think it was normal so I was being petty texting them then.

It was not you Ineedaholiday lol!

is understandable if they texted you at night aswell !

the woman I had had my ds for a few days a week so it was not you lol

but for me it was all part of many things she did that was not good before she finally ended it like that...no offense to you at all

I didnt think it was you Jennylevil. no offense taken.

I am looking into becomming a child minder, also, I have an 18 year old daughter to help and may also enter into this at a later age. Can someone post the whole speil language relating to child minding. Got it that a D means your own kids but what does it stand for. Plus how much can you earn before paying too much taxes. Do you get more for children with disabilites as I think I would be suited in this area. Thanks for anyone responding. Plus I have a small freindly 8 year old dog, will that limit potential clients ect.

DS is dear son, DD dear daughter. It's lingo from Mumsnet, not really for childminders! How much you earn depends on how many children you look after, where you live (some areas are more expensive than others) and how much you charge, ifyou work holidays, if you do afterschool care, etc. It's a very difficult question to answer. Where I live (London) childminders charge between £45 and £60 a day per child, that's from 7.30 am to 6.30 pm. Some charge per hour. Some will offer discount for siblings.

I usually take two or three children a day, four days a week (don't underestimate how much paperwork is involved, and how much cleaning you will have to do). I work term time only so not at half term, not at Christmas holidays, not at Easter, 5 weeks off in the summer (all my clients are teachers). It depends on how much you charge, how long you work, how many children you take on, and obviously if you are good at your job then you will have lovely families to work with.

thanks for responding. I think to get my feet in the water I will take on no more than 2 -- 2 year olds.. The plan is to have them swimming before pre school as I do that anyway.. Not that I actually swim anymore due to ear ( swimmers ear ). So - me - treading water with the 2 year old with armbands on and deflatiing them over time so that they can at least tread water. !!! Plus got loads of educational dvds from my 18 year old you know ABCD ect.. I think that this will be a great venture, but looking at mum net sites about how things can go wrong... I fully appreciate this as I adopted 2 girls in 2004 aged 2 and 5. The 5 year old turned out to be a complete nightmare attachment disorder ect... So I am willing to do this - but believe me will not put up with crappo production kids not for one minute seen it - been there got the badge ect. xx

SCRUMPY2 - there are lots of things you have to do and provide to become registered we work to the same standards as nursery and up to end of reception, Have a look on the pacey website and contact your local families information.
Not sure about the DVD's personally we rarely have screen time as its something most children have too much of we learn by playing and doing. Its learning through play loads of mess and being out in the environment. My house is an equipment and craft full zone with toys to support every area of leaning and pretty much every interest as well as using IT to produce more with the children (the only real screen time they get most days is taking a picture from our walks and printing it off).
What are crappo production kids? I have loads of sen experience and continued training but cant say I would refer to children this way no matter what the challenge.