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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

REALLY need some advice?

13 replies

yournanny101 · 20/02/2015 19:15

Yesterday I got to spend a few hours alone with the DC I will possibly be nannying. This was to see how I get along with the DC and also get to know them a little better.

The day went quite smoothly.
We started off with a few games, which was nice!

Unfortunately, when it came to doing work, at times the children didn't listen to me and often told me "my mum lets me do this" which I then couldn't disagree to because this was the first time I had spent the day with them...

I also find that they want the attention to be on them at all times, which is hard when there's more than one of the DC.

I tried to be a little firm with the DC when they would ignore me but I didn't want to upset them for many reasons..

anyway point is, I know they enjoy being with me but how do I tell them to STOP without upsetting them! ...otherwise I don't think I can continue.

I spoke to BM and she had a talk with them but I'm sure this will happen in the long run, as they do test the waters

one more thing
I have been told I'd only be getting paid monthly ..is it me or should I not be getting a daily or weekly pay.. since I am a nanny
I also feel like the conversation of pay is avoided..hmm

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creamhearts · 20/02/2015 19:24

Getting paid monthly is normal. You can still have an hourly or daily rate, it just gets paid at the end of the month/ Why would you expect to be paid differently as a nanny?

Purplepumpkins · 20/02/2015 19:32

It is the norm for nannys to be paid weekly. I get paid weekly. But I have worked in jobs where I've been paid monthly as well.

With regards to money not being mentioned, get it all written down in a contract.

Also the first few weeks in a new job the kids will test your boundrys. I look after a five year old and a three month old.

Whenever the 5 year old tries to pull the old "mummy lets me" I say that's great but right now I'm in charge and were following my rules.

You have to assert your authority early on whilst being respectful to the parents wishes.

If you give them time, and be firm but fair they will come around.

But get that conttract!!

Original poster

yournanny101 · 20/02/2015 19:51

creamhearts I have read and been told that it is normally a weekly pay.

purplepumpkins Ok cool, would you recommend that I be payed weekly? As I'll be doing mon-fri.

Yeah I definitely need to start asserting authority and have another talk with BS about a contract. Otherwise, I'll be walked over.

Thank you for the advice :)

OP posts:

OutragedFromLeeds · 20/02/2015 19:54

That OP hurt my eyes.

It is certainly not the 'norm' for nannies to be paid weekly. I'm sure some nannies are, but the majority are paid monthly like all other employees.

If you don't know how to manage DC not doing what they've been told or saying 'mummy let's me' etc. then you're probably not ready to be a nanny yet. Do you have any qualifications or experience?

Ebb · 20/02/2015 20:05

Most nannies get paid monthly, normally like their employers do. I've only had one job in 22 years of nannying where I was paid fortnightly but only because the estate staff all got paid fortnightly.

Is this your first nanny job as it's highly unlikely that any child will be angelic from the start? You have to get to know them and build a bond. By all means set boundaries but you can't expect children to respond to a complete stranger in the way you might imagine from day one. Mum sounds like she would back you up though which is good although make sure you're on the same page in regards to discipline and what is acceptable/unacceptable behaviour.

Make sure you get a contract.

wewishyou · 20/02/2015 20:44

I used to be paid weekly when my hours weren't the same every week. Otherwise, nannies are paid monthly .

eeyore12 · 20/02/2015 21:27

It is very normal for nannies to be paid monthly like any other job, esp now with real time reporting to the hrmc where you amount of pay has to be told to the hrmc everytime you are paid so monthly is easier for everyone.

Cindy34 · 20/02/2015 21:49

Monthly pay is the norm, especially now as the payroll admin gets more costly with many providers if done weekly.

When starting a job you wait a long time to be paid. Most banks will provide an overdraft facility if you show them a employment contract which specifies the pay amount. So if you need a financial buffer and can't borrow from your own family (for free) then talk nicely with your bank manager explaining the situation.

You need to show the children where you draw the line in terms of their behaviour. You need to be in agreement with the parents, backing each other up but that does not mean that if a child says "mum lets me" that you back down. Instead you say that whilst you are there, you are in charge and your decision is no at the moment. You will check with mum when she gets home.

"No, please don't ask mum" - if you get that then you know they were pushing their luck a little too far.

Piratespoo · 20/02/2015 22:04

Doing what kind of work?
And if you can't tell them to stop without fear of upsetting them, you are not cut out for nannying! You can't just do what the kids want all the time!

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/02/2015 22:57

As others have said monthly is normal

Make sure you have a contract - im assuming you havnt signed one yet

Always sign a contract before starting a job and make sure you have things like holidays duties salary sick pay etc in it

New charges will test you and I simply reply 'I am
Not mummy and this is what we are doing ' or words do that effect

You need to be firm and consistent and lay down rules wary on or will never work and the children will walk over you and possibly parents

Original poster

yournanny101 · 20/02/2015 23:07

ebb Ok thank you, I have met them when I had my interview.. just didn't spend any time with them. As ofcourse, it was an interview with parents.

wewishyou , eeyore12
Ok, thank you.

cindy34 Yeah, I will definitely keep that in mind!

piratespoo outragedfromleeds Ok, thank you. Yes I have experience, just never with more than one child at a time. Bearing in mind this was only the first ever time I've been left with the DC, Its doesn't mean I am "not cut out for nannying" It just means that I'm curious as to how others would handle the situation as there is more than one child. Also I would never just let the DC do what they want all the time.. I am only asking how to handle a situation without anyone being 'upset' as I would like to keep the job.

OP posts:

Original poster

yournanny101 · 20/02/2015 23:11

blondeshavemorefun great advice! I am definitely not naive to anything and I am definitely looking for those signs of 'walking over' by both DC and parents! I just didn't want to be overly harsh on them on the first day of us being together to bond. :)

OP posts:

Karoleann · 20/02/2015 23:41

I've always paid monthly, on the 2nd of the following month.

Children always push boundaries, its very normal. Not all children respond to the same sorts of discipline and it needs to be very age appropriate.

I would bring it up with the parents and ask them what works with their children. Sometimes it can be just due to wanting a bit of attention, or hunger, tiredness that can cause bad behaviour. Sometimes you just need to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good - it depends on the situation and only really experience helps.

I've always made it clear that unless our nanny is suggesting doing something that is unsafe - I will always back them up. If I then don't agree with them, I will discuss it later.

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