CM Club: Unclear on Hours required etc, getting fed up now

[looneytune]

I like to be flexible with what I offer but I've been having problems for a few weeks now. Had mindee for 1 day a week since Feb with set hours, no problem. Started doing 2 days a week in the summer, the extra day being temporary to help mum after moving house. Well, a few weeks ago mum told me that she wouldn't need the extra day from end of the month. I had someone arranged to possibly do a few hours on that day but then mindees mum started asking about me doing the extra day again from January. I explained I had someone interested so she said she'll probably have the extra day permanently then. Was going to speak to her dh and get back to me. I told the other lady that I may not be able to do her hours and that I was waiting to hear back. I chased mindees mum who said hadn't spoken to her dh yet (trying to pick right moment) and I explained I can't afford to miss out on the other job if she doesn't want me. She said she pretty sure she will be able to use me and would get back to me. We discussed possible new hours but it keeps changing and tbh, I never have any idea what time to expect mindee. I can't go into details but mum is having problems at the moment so I've not been putting pressure on but it's just getting silly now. I also have problems with mum saying one thing and dad saying another and i keep saying i can't get involved but it's a prblem when i don't know who to listen to.

Anyone had similar experiences? I'm just getting a bit fed up with not knowing what is happening and what i can/can't do.

Any advice on how to sort it without putting pressure on?

i would just say u have had to give the space away as with u moving you need the money, after all she could end it again by march so you might as well give someone else a chance if she doesnt like it then she shouldnt have messed you about imo.

i kno its hard to be tough but you have got to be, her personal circs aren't your problem.

I know what you're saying LMG's but the few hours was only temporary also and I would prefer the full day as money will be very tight in new house.

Anyway, got an update......spoke to mum briefly this morning and she said the Monday's were ok and that she would call me around lunchtime. When I speak to her I will say we need to have a new contract with core hours and then if she wants to start early/leave late etc. on occasions then that's fine if I have notice and then I will invoice for those extra hours. I've decided to just come straight out with that as I do need to know where stand a) financially (as keeps putting money in my account, which is good, but then i need to pay back overpayments but don't know what that is yet as don't know what hours they require etc etc and b) when it comes to getting the children ready and knowing if mindee requires feeding etc.

I still don't know what to do about the rest of the problems. I have problems with parents saying different things about how much sleep he should have and lots of other things. I feel I am getting dragged into their problems which is awkward. Mum is having a very hard time at the moment which is the main cause of these problems. She also changes her mind a lot. For example, one day it's vital he has x hours sleep, another day it's more chilled and 'just whatever you can get him to have', things like food i.e. at the moment I have to thoroughly blend the food, one day agrees with the not letting have yoghurt if not tried to eat main and now today wants him to eat as many yoghurts as he will have so that he's actually eating something. I'm not getting at what I've been asked to do, it's the changes and not knowing whether today I can use my own judgement or not.

I feel bad for having written all that as they are lovely people and it's a horrible thing they are going through but it just makes my job so much harder

I think you should get her to fill in her part of the home/CM diary

If she doesn't you should stand in front of her and write what she asks - that way she can look back over several days and see if she has been inconsistant

That way you have in writing what she wants - & you can use the diary to prompt yourself to todays rules

Thanks KM. Can't fill diary in with her there as she tends to get her dh to do as much of the dropping off/picking up as possible. I will try and get her to write in it, worth a try. Just worry that it's more likely to be left at home as I've had weeks of writing on scrap paper then the diary finally turned up again but then quite often isn't read.

Just hate the contradictions between mum and dad!

Then type up a table with the contentious stuff on and get dad to fill it in & sign it (I'm rotten aren't I?)