New Nanny - bonding

[Eminado]

Apologies in advance if this is rambling as I am not really sure what I am asking as such.

It's day 2 with our new nanny and I just feel a bit - fragile. I can't explain it but she doesn't seem very warm towards my DD. That's the only way I can phrase it - it's just a gut instinct.

By way of background we had a wonderful, wonderful nanny who bonded so well with my DD and there was just so much laughter in the house - my DD is a lovely happy smiley jolly toddler. But the nanny's personal circumstances made her unreliable so we found someone else.

I just wondered how long it might take for a bond to develop between new nanny and DD?

And how much weight you would put on "gut instinct".

I am not articulating myself very well and I do apologise for that. But it's just a niggly feeling I have.

Maybe I am overthinking or worrying too soon and I need to give it a few days?

How old is dd?

It can be hard at the beginning to bond especially with parents around etc. Although to be honest I am still a bit less hands on/loving when my bosses are home as I try to make sure that the toddler wants to give cuddles to mummy/daddy instead of coming to me etc. I still snuggle and play but tend to be a bit busy or refer to mummy

I think gut instinct is important.

I also think it's hard being on the second day of a new job, following a nanny that the family and children loved, with mum hanging round (I'm assuming you are there otherwise you wouldn't know how much laughter/warmth there is?).

I think to be fair to the nanny you need to wait at least a week and give her space to bond with DD.

It's always good to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes. How much time would you need to bond with a toddler you're not related to and have never met before?

Gut instant is vital. Though I would give it a couple of weeks. There tends to come a time when everyone settles into the new day to day routine of things. At the moment DD may be rejecting the new nanny due to missing the old nanny.

Your gut instinct is very important but I would still give it time.

Both you and your DD are probably both missing the old nanny and if she was so well loved you are likely to be comparing your new, nervous, self-conscious nanny with her.

It is hard when a nanny starts a new job - particularly if the parents are around. You're getting to know the family and looking after toddlers requires you to sing with gusto, look silly, run around, make silly noises etc. It can take time to feel comfortable enough around the family to do all this.

Relax, give her time and space but if the niggle doesn't go away then let her know that things aren't working out.

I would say it takes at least 2 weeks for a proper bond to form. It is also VERY difficult when you start a new job and have handover with mum... As a previous poster said you just don't feel comfortable playing at 'toddler' level until you are familiar with the family and child.

Day two, she's nervous, learning a new routine, and having to play with a child she doesn't know! When I start a new job I try not to get to involved the first few days and let them get comfortable with me.

Please give the poor girl time to establish a relationship with the child and get to know her job.

Thank you for all the comments!

Just to be clear, I asked for your views here because I was trying to reassure myself as I have never been in this situation. I did not say anything to the nanny.

And I wasn't standing over her watching her do her job - that would be mean - I am in the house for about half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening - and that is what I was referring to regarding how quiet my DD is.

Purple - I didn't do anything or say anything and I AM giving her a chance; I posted here to find out if if I was being unrealistic. So no need for the "poor girl" thing .

Poor girl was not an attack upon you, just a turn of phrase.

I think you should perhaps give it a little more time. You and dd may just be getting used to a different style.

Ok week 2 and saw DD climb into her lap today so progress I think.

I haven't got rid of my niggle though.