My feed

to access all these features

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.


please can i have some advice!

32 replies

secretidforthis · 18/10/2006 20:24

hello i have posted quite a lengthy message in other subjects entitled need to let of steam and i was wondering if another child minder could have a look at it and give me there point of view?

am having a few problems with current cm and am a bit worried about my dd

at same time i worry that its me being unreasonable

thanks in advance

OP posts:
TheOneAndOnlyHUNKERMUNKER · 18/10/2006 20:27

The thread's here

secretidforthis · 18/10/2006 20:27

thank you for that link im a bit thick when it comes to that sort of stuff and havent a clue how to do it!!

OP posts:
elclose · 18/10/2006 20:44

havent read all the thread but sounds like you are unhappy. I say always listen to your gut instinct. Have you thought about an au pair?

elclose · 18/10/2006 20:52

with regards to the charges it is something that is advised when you register as a cm but it is usually written in your initial contract with each parent.
If you are always late with the money you can see how she would be a bit mad but as for all the other stuff there is no excuse. Iwould look around for a new cm

secretidforthis · 18/10/2006 20:54

elclose an aupair would probably be better but unfortunately i only live in a 1 bed house and start work as early as 5am hence the need for overnight care

OP posts:
pol26 · 18/10/2006 20:56

I was a nanny prior to having my two children and have just put childminding on hold as i've just had my second baby...

I think a childminder telling you that your child has been a 'sod around the supermarket' and they needed a 'smack' absolutely DISGUSTING! She shouldn't be looking after children if she thinks this.

I understand you need someone who will take your child during your shifts etc which is awkward but if you are worried you can call OFSTED, you don't have to tell them who you are... or look for someone else.

Personally if it was me, nothing is worth putting your child in a situation they are truly unhappy with, we all have the moans of 'oh, mum I don't want to go' and the water works but usually they are ok. But if you feel this is a serious issue for your DD it isn't worth making her unhappy and in turn you too.

Twoandabump · 18/10/2006 21:33

pol26, Ofsted will now no longer take complaints without you giving a name. This has started after people rang up and were malicious about other cm.

HappyMumof2 · 18/10/2006 21:44

Message withdrawn

NurseyJo · 18/10/2006 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ThePrisoner · 19/10/2006 00:39

I've posted on your other thread.

HappyMumof2 · 20/10/2006 12:47

Message withdrawn

SarahLG · 20/10/2006 13:27

This sounds like a nightmare for you and your DD. £10 per hour is way over the top, I pay my fantastic qualified live-out Nanny in Central London £8.90 per hour. The fining and the potential smacking are also outrageous. I agree with others, get in touch with Ofsted, also search for other registered childminders on and also try posting an ad on for approx £20, brilliant site. There is a great and flexible pool of labour out there and I am sure you could get somebody to stay with your DD for overnights if necessary at your home for less money and who would be much better.

alison222 · 20/10/2006 13:56

I read your other thread too,
I would be going with my gut instincts too as otheres have said.

It is illegal to smack a child in your care.

I would never dream of telling a parent that a child needed a good smack.

It is true that some children do cry as their parents leave but settle down immediately after. - Could you hang around outside to see how soon the crying stops? This would tell you how truthful she is being about that at least.

If your contract did not have late payment penalties on when you signed it and she has not given you a new one or written to you informing you of the changes I don't think that the late charges can be legally enforcible.
The NCMA would give you advice if you telephoned them - website here

franyfroo · 20/10/2006 14:00

I do charge a late fee, purley because if d/d go in late to my account my d/ds dont get paid and i get charged (£39.00 to be exact) my late fee is £15.00 one off ........... it is stated in my contracts and on my policies. I have NEVER been mean enough to use it though. They normally warn me in advance and I try to cover it. It is VERY annoying though when people just assume I can afford to put up with it, in the beginning when i started sometimes we were scraping around for money just because people didnt pay.
That aside..........this woman is breaking so many laws and should be reported immediatly. Speak to your health visitor, she may be able to recommend someone who can cover while you look for alternative care. Make sure you are getting all the tax benefits you can and give her notice immediatly. Are they official contracts (NCMA) because they may not even be legally binding. Ask to see her certificate, and report. She should have a portfolio! You could get a friend to call her about vacancies, she could get her reg no. and you could look up report online? If you in Croydon, I know loads who could help you. Best wishes.

secretidforthis · 22/10/2006 21:32

thanks so much for all the advice, this weekend has been unbelievable i paid the woman the ridiculous amount of money she was demanding (wish i could find a job that would give me over (300 quid for less that a weeks work!!) as i had to work over the weekend - i knew i would be having nearly a month off after so i could make alternative arrangements

picked dd up on fri lunch time to be told that dd had thrown all her lunch up and the tale was about how the childminder made sure she cleaned her carpet up before she dealt with my dd!! dd was also wearing a t shirt that had sick all down the front of it despite the fact she had a change of clothes in her bag!

chilminder didnt know how dd was sick whether she had been putting too much food in her mouth turned out she was in another room dealing with another child leaving my dd to eat her food unattended!

told the woman i was not happy

went home took dd out for the afternoon and returned home to find a letter giving me immediate notice that she was no longer having my daughter and unless i paid her the money within 48 hours she was handing it to the ncma legal dept!

cant begin to tell how angry i am, have a brilliant health visitor have spoke to her briefly yesterday and she is going to come round tomorrow and i will ask her advice

incidently i went to work yesterday and left dd with a friend for the day and there was not one tear, she was perfectly happy for me to leave her and behaved perfectly all day which is a complete contrast to when she is left with that woman

think there was more going on than i know about cant believe i trusted this woman with my baby for over 2 years!

OP posts:
CwmbranChildminder · 22/10/2006 23:02

I am so pleased to hear your dd is no longer going there - I know u will be stuck but I was horified to hear your situation. This women should not be a cm and should be investigated and looked into further. I really hope u sort something out and that yr dd will be happy and safe in her new surroundings.

secretidforthis · 23/10/2006 13:10

the change in dd is unbelievable, now she doesnt have to go there she is happy and well behaved there was definately some reason why she was getting upset about going there im glad i have removed her from the situation

OP posts:
HappyMumof2 · 23/10/2006 16:58

Message withdrawn

secretidforthis · 23/10/2006 18:38

have written lengthy letters today to both ofsted and ncma outlining all the problems

dd had an accident on the carpet today and got really upset i wasnt bothered she has not been out of nappies very long she told me she did a wee on cm carpet and got smacked!! doubt at her age she has the ability to make something like that up!

told her she wasnt going back there again and she got really upset thinking i was sending her there! took me ages to calm her down something has obviously happened but she is too young to tell me so unfortunatly i doubt i will never know.

have applied for a couple of full time mon to fri jobs today she is quite happy at her nursery, unfortunatly i live in the south east and cant afford to live if i work part time i was lucky that i currently am on a really high wage for part time work but at least i was at home with her for most of the last 3 years just unfortunate as to who i left her with on the occasions i had to go to work!

OP posts:
franyfroo · 23/10/2006 18:46

im so pleased you have contacted OFSTED.....dont think I would have paid her to be honest, should have held out to see what happened with OFSTED. i think your daughter may well remember what has gone on as she gets older, it may only be bits and bobs though. i hope she gets struck off, or worse. good luck with the hunt for a new cm/nursery.

CwmbranChildminder · 23/10/2006 20:42

keep us updated on what Ofsted has to say!
Dont feel guilty as things like this are not meant to happen & mums and dads have to put trust in cm and nannies. One CM i know has a web cam for parents to be able to access at work to see her DD play - thats a great idea but the bad ones obviously wouldnt entertain that idea!
Take care of yourself and DD

Greensleeves · 23/10/2006 20:45

OMG how dare she raise a hand to someone else's child?

Poor you and your dd.

I hope you get a fair result out of this - she shouldn't be allowed to practise again IMO.

secretidforthis · 28/10/2006 20:50

dd is now so happy about not going back to cm the change in her behaviour is unbelievable and she is even sleeping sort of at night! only waking once now instead of half a dozen times wanting my bed!

still got 2 weeks before im due back at work, have applied for a couple of jobs but they wont be starting until the new year

finding a new childminder that can do the flexible hours i need is proving difficult and she has gone round spreading the word i am a bad payer and my dd is difficult to look after with her tantrums etc!

can anyone give me some advice on nannies / au pairs? they would have to be live out as i live in a one bed house i have a irregular working pattern, i work every other fortnight and in those 14 days i will do no more than 10 days (that is unusual normally it would be between 6 and 8 days) these are split between shifts of either 530am til about 330 or 130 til anytime between 10 and midnight evenings are not usually a problem as i have plenty of willing babysitters its the early mornings that will be a problem and weekends

can anyone tell me if any nannies or au pairs are likely to work these sort of hours? and how would i go about finding one

thanks in advance

OP posts:
NurseyJo · 28/10/2006 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

secretidforthis · 28/10/2006 21:19

thanks nurseryjo i am in luton, the pay isnt a problem - i was paying cm nearly £300 a week!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.