Would you have an au pair look after a baby under 1?

[agnesrose86]

We had a brilliant au pair until I started maternity leave at Christmas. We are now considering our options for when I go back to work in September. Our new baby will be 9 months and we also have two other children (5 and 3). Our older children will be at school/pre-school from 9-3.30 on our working days so the majority of the childcare will be the baby. Do you think an au pair would be too young/inexperienced to be left with a baby all day?

I don't think an au pair is allowed to look after children under 2

What would the hours be?

You cannot pay someone an au pairs wage to work full-time hours. It is morally wrong.

You should not leave your baby in the full-time care of someone who has no childcare experience or training.

If you want someone who is qualified/experienced to work a 40-60 hour week that is called a nanny. You could have a live-in junior/newly qualified nanny, that would be the closest you could get to a 'full-time au pair for a baby'.

Yes. And too underpaid. And too not remotely the right person for the job.

It would be for 20-25 hours per week.

I wouldn't leave a child under 3 with an au pair for more than a couple of hours at a time tbh. What you are describing is a nanny which will cost £10-£12 an hour.

You need a nanny imo.

What about school holidays? Would the carer have all three in the holidays?

We really loved having an au pair so it might be that we get one who could look after my older two and I take the baby to a childminder or nanny close to my work. Out of interest, if we were to opt for a nanny (live-in or live-out), where do I look. We live in a rural area in the north of england, I am not sure a good one is going to be that easy to find!

My husband is a teacher so has school holidays off. We also both work part time. Our last au pair had the children two days per week but a few extra hours here and there.

All day yes. There are in fact no real legal rules around this though. Has been explained elsewhere and don't repeat.

Issue with APs is their ability to spot illness, evaluating risk generally, and their patience over a long period if time, day after day. You may get a good one who can cope with other first two, but I'd always worry about the last.

Sorry all day no I wouldn't!

No.

It is hard work nannying a baby and to be honest you need to be trained and know what you're doing. My main issues would be English as a foreign language. You need to know that the the a pair understands and can convey information re baby ie if ill, how they've been etc. I think you also need a good network behind you (for days the baby is tetchy) and can just imagine it could be stressful for a homesick a pair in a foreign country looking after a grotty tired teething baby with no real support etc

A live-in nanny would be a similar experience to having an au pair. It would just mean going for someone with childcare experience/qualifications and paying an appropriate salary.

You could offer an au pair/trainee nanny role and take on someone without experience, allow them to 'practise' on your baby (while you're there, send the baby to a childminder when you're at work) for 6 months and then allow them to take on the care of the baby. That would be very popular, a great opportunity for someone.

You can look for a nanny on nannyjob.co.uk, childcare.co.uk, gumtree. Post ads locally. Or if you know any nannies/people who use nannies ask around.

A pre-verbal baby left all day with someone who has had no checks on their ability to adequately care for and safeguard children? No. How will you know if anything untoward is happening (either disastrous or just slightly dangerous)?

Thanks, that's really helpful. Childcare is so stressful. It often feels like there is no point working!

My au pair does occasionally drop off or pick up similar aged baby from nursery for me if I am stuck. It's not her regular job - that is mostly taking 6 year old to school, looking after her after school etc because it has much shorter hours - but she is very capable and happy to do this occasionally. She also plays with the baby while I'm in the house etc.

As others have said they can't do all day with baby for all the reasons above.

You had a brilliant aupair but the next one may not be as good.

The same could be said of a nanny, be they qualified or not. It so much comes down to the individual providing the care. Why are wanting to do that work, do they have sufficient experience of short term care of similar aged children, do they understand the language and would they be able to raise the alarm if there was a problem.

If this was a local teenager/early twenties person whom over the past 6-9 months or longer has got to know your children by babysitting, then would it be different? Many things would be the same apart from that you know them, they have some experience even if that is evening not daytime care.

Some people are excellent with children, others are not. Your previous aupair you say was brilliant and if they were still around would you be confident leaving your baby in their care? The next aupair may not be brilliant, so it's a big risk which you need to reduce the risk on by looking for someone with relevant experience, training, references, whatever you can to satisfy yourself that the person is capable of caring for your children.

See who you can find locally. Also consider other options such as using a nursery or childminder to do the bulk of the babycare, with an aupair doing care of the older children.

I am not sure what's up with Au Pair not being able to care for under 3, probably a UK thing. I've been an Au Pair 4 times in Europe and now in Australia and my position always involved at least a kid under 3, hell I even had full charge of 18 months old twins and their 4 yo sister on my own and it was a full-time position.

So of course I am a bit biased but I think an Au Pair is perfectly able to care for a baby. Taking care of an older child is, in my opinion, much more challenging that taking care of a baby, as long as she knows how to change nappies, feed him a bottle, make funny faces, play with him and cuddle him your baby will be perfectly happy. I probably would chose someone that have had experience with infant or very young kids though and would probably stay with her the first couple days to make sure she knows what she is doing and to be confident she can care for my child, but other than that, I can't see the issue with your childcarer being an Au Pair and not a Nanny.

If you needed some kind of certifications or diplomas to care for a baby, not many people would be parents I'm afraid. I see and perfectly understand why people would rather have somebody qualify though, but there are probably as many bad Nannies as there are bad Au Pairs, so go with your guts feeling I would say and chose your childcarer for her persona and not her diplomas. :)

'Personas not diplomas' is an excellent catchphrase.

Thanks, I guess ? :) My English is not perfect so I was wondering if I wasn't actually making that word up hahaha

No to an ap for the reasons stated - tho maybe get one for the older children and as you said drop baby to cm or nursery - you can't drop to a nanny as the nanny needs to work from your home

Do you have set days you want?

Tho tbh by the time you paid for a nursery /cm for baby - and ap - and anything over the 15hrs free press school - it may be cheaper to get a nanny

By the time you have 3 children a nanny is the much cheaper option - plus easier for the parent as you have just you to get ready - where as if you take to childcare out of the home you need to wake up and get children dressed and breakfast etc. Then take to cm/nursery - then you go to work

A nanny will also do nursery duties ie wash kids clothes. Change their beds. Cook for them. Keep their areas tidy and clean etc - tho sayin all that many nannies don't want term time only

Advertise and are who you get replying

To me, this sounds like an ideal position for a parent at your eldest child's school, whose children are in school all day. He/She could look after the baby, do the pre-school run, then the school run collecting their own children at the same time. They would either then have to take your children to their house (legal if it is for less than 2 hours a day) or all the children back to your house. The fact that it is term time only would be appealing to someone who is currently a SAH parent as they get the holidays with just their own children. You'd have to pay at least minimum wage but you wouldn't have the additional costs of someone living in, plus it might be cheaper than a qualified/experienced nanny.....

My twopence worth:

If the cost of a nanny and the cost of an au pair was the same, then I suspect/assume you would hire the nanny to look after your baby?! I certainly would.

However, there is a HUGE difference in cost, and many families try to keep childcare costs down by over working an aupair and giving them the huge responsibility of looking after a baby for extended periods of time.

I am afraid, I fall into the camp of it being morally wrong because it is an opportunity to cut financial corners.

I have an au pair, but I also have a nanny one day a week so that I can leave all my children in the holidays (soon to be 4 under 6) and the smaller two in the term time, safe in the knowledge that she is experienced to cope with everything that they throw at her (hopefully not literally!). My aupair simply could not cope with sole charge care (no authority!) and I wouldn't want to put her in a difficult position - however, she is great to have around getting us out the house for school, keeping on top of their laundry, keeping the kitchen tidy and being an extra pair of hands at tea/homework/bathtime.

You also said you live rurally...so do I and I now of three local au pairs who have crashed their cars (one with the charge inside - thankfully everyone okay). I just couldn't give them that responsibility.

Not that I am condoning this AT ALL but I have just had an application on au pair world from an English au pair who has been working with the same family abroad for 2 years looking after 5 children, 11 hours per day, 5 days a week including a 9 month old baby!!

I'm thinking of putting my youngest two in a nursery. With the free 15 hours I will only end up having to pay for my baby and half a day for my 3 year old. Either that, or another au pair for my older ones and get MIL/Nanny/childminder to help with the baby until he's a bit older.