Nanny whilst on mat leave

[Blimeygirl]

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with the adjustment period of having mum and nanny around for those children who find it hard. Child around 3 yo. New baby not here yet so it is not jealousy just child seems to be hating my very presence so is cross and hitting me.

Any help welcome!

Oh that sounds tough already - you poor thing. Even though the baby's not here the child knows things are changing even if s/he doesn't completely understand. The mum is probably exhausted and busy preparing for the new addition.

Each of you try spending one on one time with her. Take her swimming or somewhere fun. Also speak to the mum and explain how important being on the same page with discipline is. Best of luck.

Have you talked to the child about helping mummy to look after the new baby/new sister/brother if known? So she sees you and her as a "team". If the mum has explained you as the person who will look after her while she looks after the new baby then that is not helpful and will backfire totally.

Try to find a fun new activity to do without the mum. A playbarn for example as it is unlikely that the mum will have been going somewhere like that recently.

Three is also just about old enough to understand that Mummy is very tired because the baby is nearly big enough to come out and so is very heavy. She may be taking it quite personally that you are around at all. Getting the mum to talk about nice things they will do together when the baby arrives and her tummy is small again is a good move.

Try chatting to the mum about how things will work once she is out of hospital. As someone who has had a nanny while on mat leave, my biggest mistake was not handing over the baby more frequently [feeding issues] in the very early days to reassure my oldest child that she was still the centre of my world. She didn't really start to adjust until our nanny started taking them both out.

Take her shopping to buy a toy for the new baby [and one for her too obviously ]