Bad Influence?????

[mum2oliver]

Im a childminder and have just started looking after a 6year old after school.I know the parents but not that well.They are old friends of my dp but hasnt spent that much time wuth them in last few years.6year old is SO hyper.He has no idea how to relax or calm down or chill out.Is this normal of a 6year old?
He goes to school Monday to Fridays.He goes to Karate on a Tuesday,swimming on a Wednesday,french and then karate on a Thursday and football on a Friday and Saturday.
Does anyone think this is too much?
He never wants anything to eat at my house as I only have fruit to offer after school.He doesnt eat until after his clubs.He doesnt eat any fruit or vegetables as his mum cant stand them and certainly doenst hide this fact.
The bad influence part is.....
He is REALLY loud,he says rude things like "you msell of poo,your pants are on fire,you stink of everthing,tell your mum she stinks of poo poo"
Things along that line.
I think this is funny for 4,5,6+ year olds and would worry if my ds didnt join in and have a sense of humour but my ds is 2 and a half!!
I have now made it very clear that I dont want this talk in fornt of me or my ds but its the hyperness of him and the loudness.My friends have pointed out a real slight change in my ds ie he is a bit "cocky"
I dont mean to blow my trumpet but out of all my friends my ds is the most discaplined and well behaved.I am consistant with what I say.My ds knows where he stands.
Please dont anyone think that I believe my ds to be perfect and that I dont want to be influenced by ny other children as this is not true.

Please understand I dont have any experience of 6 year olds.Please be honest with me as I really want to know if Im being over the top.

MMM

Sounds like a standard 6 yo boy to me.

I have a 9 year old boy and a 6 year old and neither of them are like that!!

I know that I would find that hard to deal with if I was looking after him.

I guess the issue is not whether he says rude things but if he continues after you have told him not to

You need to lay out some ground rules. I have 4 kids and I am a childminder too. Rules when he is in your home are important as his behaviour will and is influencing your children. You also need to tell his parents that you have laid out some ground rules so they can remind him that as soon as he steps over your threshold he listens to your rules.

Hi m2o,

your situation is so similar to mine!!!
Except I am a nanny, so look after a 6yr old boy in his home, with his younger brother. HOnestly, from your description it could be the same boy. He's so loud,shouts instead of speaks, hits , runs all the time, says horrible things like smell my butt, and double loser (which I know kids that age do say), and i take my dd , 2, with me and she sees it all which I hate.

I mean, I know she is going to pick all this up anyway, but does she need to see it at two? The hting with my situation is, its their house, anmd if thats how their parents allow them to act in i then I have to allow that.

It is horrible though, and I have thought about quitting loads of times.

I agree with bodfishy. I cm for a 7 year old boy and though his behaviuor is not as extreme as what you describe mum2oliver there has been times when he has said or done things that are not what i tolerate in my house. I have a 2.4 easily influenced boy and would not want that type of behaviour to be seen as acceptable. In no uncertain terms you need to lay down your house rules. When i get the line "but mum lets me say/do that" then I come back with "thats fine when you are at home but not while you are with me". I have only had him for the last 4 weeks but he now knows what i will and will not tolerate.
BTW i do feel that maybe the poor kid needs to slow down with the amount of clubs and activities hes doing but i guess thats just personal choice

I am a Mum of a six year old boy and a childminder and yes my six year old does say things like that and act like that occaisionally and when he thinks I can't hear him. He is certainly old enough to understand it is disrespectful to adults to talk like that to them. He also uderstands he should set a good example to younger children. His behaviour gets much worse when he is tired! He would be exhausted with that timetable especially on a dodgy diet!

You have my sympathy - he sounds hard work! Will he eat toast or something. I've found fruit-phobic mindees will start eating it if it's cut up and on the table free to take while they're eating something else - especially if the others are eating it. Why does he do so many clubs, and who looked after him previously?

i am a childminder and do not stand for behaviour like that
my own sons are 9 and 10
when a child acts in an unsavoury manner i tell them off (not shouting) i then write down exactly what has happened while i'm still cross i then tell their parents when they come in and give them the note
it is hard and i feel like i'm telling tales on the child and i feel like the bearer of bad news but it has to be done
last week an 8 yr old boy did something every night and each night i would be telling his mum by thursday i was fed up and gave the child a final warning letter and told him to give it to his mum as i did not want him coming here to upset other children, well he started to cry and said sorry
he was better on friday but time will tell

i have got rid of children because of personally clashes with other children and have told the parents it is not working (it is hard to do) but once the child has left a calm is set

Oh my god have just logged on and cant believe all the things you have all said.I saw Colditz reply only the other day and figured it was just me being over the top and that I just need to except this situation and try and point out certain things to 6yr old to calm him down.
I feel so much stronger about how I really feel now.A friend look after him before who's ds is in the ssame class but she is no longer able as she has been quite poorly.It makes me wonder if thats the truth.
The problem I have is the mum is (an absolute psycho!!!) a very difficult person to be honest with.I regret this set up.We agreed that I would do it as a friend and that if she didnt need me she wouldnt need to pay me.She said she didnt want the probs she has had in the past with other childminder (before friend) ie-if late would be charged,if sick would still have to pay,too many children being childminded.I was fine wiht this as I had as many children I wanted to childmind and this would just be a little extra.I also only charge her £25 per week-I leave my house at 14:50 to pick him up at the school at 15:10.I have to take my other mindee&ds with me and then drop other mindee off at home.Other mindee finishes with me @15:00 but just so I could achieve 6yr old I asked other mindees mum if could take him home myself(hope this is clear),so I have other mindee for half an hour extra for no charge(but this is in the car)
Im REALLY regretting this now!!!!
What do people think of me doing this?
Am I stupid?
Was helping ut a friend but at same time thinking of that cash and not touching it.
Iv said a few simple things to 6yr olds mum before and she flies off the handle but not to my face(on msn) She has OCD and no friends.She cant hold down normal friendships and am beginning to see why.My DP saya shes a weirdo and doesnt understand why his mate is wiht her(says can only be cuz of 6yr old,have split before and she stops him seeing him)
I suppose Im feeling a bit threatended by her and feel anxious about way she will act if I said anything.
Oh dear what Have I got myself into!!!

She picks 6yr old up @16:45 but most days is late so nearer 17:00!

Does the school have a kids club he can go to?! (even though they are competition they do have their uses!)

No after school club.
BUT I am pregnant and thought could just give it up in December and say Im too tired.