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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Can I run something by the nannies on here please...

79 replies

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 15:13

Our nanny's usual hours are 1430-1930 three days a week. I texted her last week to explain what our arrangements were for half term this week, explaining that my kids were staying with my mum and dad last night and they'd be dropped off back at ours at around 3pm today.

On Friday evening my mum was called by the hospital treating her for a knee injury saying they had a cancellation on an appointment and could she come in for 3pm today (Monday). I duly texted our nanny on Saturday, and Sunday to ask if she could make sure she was at ours for 1430 (ie her contracted start time) so my parents could drop the kids off then. She didn't reply all weekend so I texted her this morning, and called her twice, only to get voicemail.

My parents dropped my kids back at our house and waited until 1445 and our nanny still hadn't turned up, they couldn't miss the appointment so they left, taking the kids with them to hospital.

Am I wrong to be angry that our nanny hasn't been in touch or even contactable all weekend and today? Do you respond to messages from your employers at the weekend/on your days off or is it unreasonable for me to expect to be able to get in touch with a nanny we employ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

OhReallyDear · 27/10/2014 21:56

Honestly, and I don't want you to take it bad, why not just let it go? You seems rageous about it. How long has she be working for you? Was she good until now? was she late? There was one case of bad communication (and bad luck with her phone, but she answered you during the weekend before apparently).

Why fuming all day, feeling like you have to insist here that she was wrong, etc...

Can't you just see that she misunderstood? You sound a bit like you are trying to control her.

Really, if you are happy with her as a nanny, let go. Send her an email telling her that following what happened today, you want to make it clear that you want her to come at 14.30 every day, even if the kids aren't there.

Don't make a huge drama out of nothing.

jkdnanny · 27/10/2014 22:16

Tbh I think you must have made it seem like coming in at 3pm was ok, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to contact her when you realised the change of plan with your mum.
If she lost her phone then she wouldn't have known you had tried to contact her so she wouldn't have known to email you. I wouldn't email my boss if I had lost my phone at the wkend.

QuintessentiallyGhoulish · 27/10/2014 22:39

But if you rang and nobody picked up you would have known she had not gotten the message, and you would not have had the uncertainty!

OutragedFromLeeds · 28/10/2014 01:28

OP It's your attitude that is the problem, not your actions.

Texting your nanny on the weekend is fine. Becoming enraged because she doesn't respond/her phone is broken is beyond ridiculous. You need to have a word with yourself. You can't possibly think that your nanny should be available 24/7 to the point that if her phone is broken she has to email you to let you know. That's nuts.

The time issue was a mix-up, that's fair enough, it happens. Becoming angry about it, being unable to see how/why she got confused is unreasonable. If you needed her in at her normal contracted time there was no need to text her. You did text her, she misunderstood. It happens. Your inability to shrug it off is the problem.

Paying over the going rate doesn't make your nanny superhuman, she's not going to be infallible no matter what you pay. You need to ask yourself why a broken phone and a misunderstanding has upset you so much.

PowerPants · 28/10/2014 01:44

Oh Ouchy I think you are getting an unecessary kicking on here! My nanny is absolutely fine with being contacted over the weekend (like you I sent an apologetic text and she responded saying no problem). Nanny should have been at yours at 2.30pm, imo, there's always stuff to do. An email to her saying it's 2.30pm every day is a great idea, saves you stressing.

fackinell · 28/10/2014 02:03

When I nannied it used to drive me insane getting texts and calls at the wknd (emergencies excluded.) one boss sent me a text at 7am on a Sunday morning asking if I could start early the following Wednesday. I was awake through sheer pissedoffness after that.

I don't think you were BU to request a change of plans, per say, but nannies do not see themselves at an employer's beck and call whilst off duty and really have no obligation to reply out of hrs.

I had one boss tell me to go home and rest after a tooth extraction only to drop a bollock when I had a visitor pop round (ok, I lied but she insisted even though I said I'd be fine and then gave me serious attitude) and she called me later to tell me she had traffic issues and couldn't get home in time for nursery pickup.

NeDeLaMer · 28/10/2014 03:22

I agree with outraged entirely.

Also, why are you insisting she goes to your house before she does the school run? It just seems so petty. If she wants/needs to pick something up fine, if not, why can't she go straight to school?

£13.50 ph in the SE for an after school only nanny is a good deal (for you), they're like hens teeth to find as well, so I'd think carefully about your attitude.

Tapestry12 · 28/10/2014 03:31

Hope you sorted it all out. My employer does email me, with changes, most recent 'I (me nanny) might not be needed or I might be, depends if they (dad) can get time off'. This means I can't make proper plans for not working or for activity if I am working. It doesn't make for good employee / employee relationship. This is job with similar hours to yours. Mum does leave notes in communication book and I do 25 mins of jobs before pick up.
However, after a year an a half of texts, emails and notes in communication book that IMO are unnecessary, I have decided to resign.
Therefore my advice to you is ..... Talk to/with your nanny build up good relationship and DON'T change hours etc unless you are absolutely sure they are concrete.
I do wish you well.
I am awake at 3.30 am cos partner snoring. Just about to go to sleep again!!!!!

Cullercoats88 · 28/10/2014 14:36

I reread your post before replying and I kept coming to the same conclusion that you were saying nanny doesn't have to be there until 3pm.

It's frustrating you didn't get a reply, however, I wouldn't necessarily reply to my texts or emails over the weekend (I'm a CM not nanny but I don't think it makes much difference in this scenario) i don't think it's fair to be frustrated at nanny. Not everyone checks their phone that often, and as her phone had broke, she wouldn't have known that you changed the plans. I think you need to let this go, it isn't a sackable offence, it doesn't even need to be spoken about. You were just as much to blame in the mix up as she was!

SoonToBeSix · 28/10/2014 14:41

Your post doesn't make sense if you expected her to turn at up at 2.30 as usual there was no need to text her in advance re the drop off.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/10/2014 14:54

Agree with last poster

You must have said to nanny don't come in till 3 or why else would you have texted Her to say be at work at 2.30 instead of 3 coz your mums plans had changed

Agree let it go but If you want nanny to always be at yours at 2,30 then tell her and fair enough if paying from 2.30

PixieofCatan · 28/10/2014 15:11

I thought the same as soon.

Stillwishihadabs · 28/10/2014 15:12

YABU I make every effort to communicate with my housekeeper (who does some after school care, dcs are older) during her working hours. In your position I would have tried to contact her , but would have made contingency plans. If you say you don't need some one and they make other arrangements then tough.

You cannot expect to be able to chop and change at the last minute.

sorry

eurycantha · 29/10/2014 21:38

Hi I had to come on to say,I understand that your nanny was due to start work at 2.30 and you just rang to check that she would be on time because your parents were dropping the children back and needed to leave for the hospital .i am a nanny and can't see why you are getting so much hassle from people above .my employer will occasionally ring me at the weekend to ask me to come in earlier or maybe to pick up some milk if they've been on holiday .employers times of leaving or perhaps illness mean they sometimes do have to ring us at home,I can't see what is wrong in you telling your nanny what would be happening on a specific day and how and when her charges would be brought home.

eurycantha · 29/10/2014 21:40

Blondes I've just seen your post ..Was the nanny due to work from 3 then I thought she was being paid from 2.30?

OhReallyDear · 29/10/2014 22:00

Eyrycabtha, don't you ever stay 15 minutes later because the parents were stuck in the tube? Do you make them pay for it?

I don't, and sometimes, when my charges is with her grandmother, my boss will tell me to come 1/2 hour later, and still pay me for it. We both survived until now. If she text me to tell my that my charge will be dropped 1/2 hour later, I will go to work later.

And I also think the goal is not to see how many people think that the OP was right (or was it?). But to have an opinion, and if 90% of the people here understood that the nanny had to go to work at 3 pm, it is safe to say that the nanny might have been confused by the text she received.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/10/2014 22:23

That's how I read it or else why would op try to tell her to be there at 2.30 - ie plans had changed

As I said a case of crosses wires

Nanny obv thought it meant what we did

But can easily be sorted so doesn't happen again by saying always be at house at 2.30 regardless if any children

Oliversmummy345 · 30/10/2014 04:26

So what time did the nanny show up?

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/10/2014 08:20

I'm assuming 3pm and Prob then wondered where the children were

ESP if went to hospital with gps - they Prob wouldn't have been back till 4

cheesecakemom · 30/10/2014 14:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Victoria2002 · 30/10/2014 15:18

Hmmm...if she did have a broken phone then I think that's a good excuse for not replying, and would not expect her to have pro-actively contacted you to say so just in case you were trying to contact her, especially as you don't normally call/text her at weekends. The 2:30/3 thing is a grey area, I would normally expect that means you can come later, but my boss would specifically say "so I won't need you until..." In that situation.

OhReallyDear · 30/10/2014 15:19

Yes, now you say it, I think you are right. This nanny should have know that she had received a message on her broken phone and answered to it. What a lazy woman.

Now, to be honnest with you, I don't care how it works with other people's jobs, it is still the same for me. If I want to/can answer a message during the weekend, I will. If I can't/don't want to, I won't. It's that simple

HayDayQueen · 30/10/2014 23:40

Based on just the OP, I would have assumed you meant for her to be there by about 3 pm.

But.... given that she usually picks your DC up from school later than that, but is supposed to go to yours first I would have been as unimpressed as you are.

To be honest, I would be livid at finding out that she HASN'T been going to yours before the school pick up. I think a SERIOUS conversation needs to be had with her.

ChillingGrinBloodLover · 31/10/2014 01:43

Livid? Why? If the nanny needs wellies or whatever then fine, but other than that what's the point!? Total waste of time!

HayDayQueen · 31/10/2014 09:23

Why? Because it's her job! She has been paid to start from 2.30 so that she CAN go to the house, which gives her employer the ability to leave instructions etc.

It's not up to the nanny to arbitrarily decide not to go there first.

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