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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Can I run something by the nannies on here please...

79 replies

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 15:13

Our nanny's usual hours are 1430-1930 three days a week. I texted her last week to explain what our arrangements were for half term this week, explaining that my kids were staying with my mum and dad last night and they'd be dropped off back at ours at around 3pm today.

On Friday evening my mum was called by the hospital treating her for a knee injury saying they had a cancellation on an appointment and could she come in for 3pm today (Monday). I duly texted our nanny on Saturday, and Sunday to ask if she could make sure she was at ours for 1430 (ie her contracted start time) so my parents could drop the kids off then. She didn't reply all weekend so I texted her this morning, and called her twice, only to get voicemail.

My parents dropped my kids back at our house and waited until 1445 and our nanny still hadn't turned up, they couldn't miss the appointment so they left, taking the kids with them to hospital.

Am I wrong to be angry that our nanny hasn't been in touch or even contactable all weekend and today? Do you respond to messages from your employers at the weekend/on your days off or is it unreasonable for me to expect to be able to get in touch with a nanny we employ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

minipie · 27/10/2014 16:30

I'm not a nanny but a nanny employer.

I think you're wrong to be angry that your nanny wasn't contactable out of hours.

I think you're a bit more entitled to be cross that your nanny assumed "3pm drop off" meant "don't need you till 3pm".

If I said "DD will be dropped off at 3pm" to my nanny, she'd have replied saying "so do you need me at 2.30?" I think your nanny should have checked this, and since she didn't, she should have assumed you still needed her at 2.30.

(Though, as it happens, I suspect that if she had asked, you'd have said "oh no 3pm is fine" and then you'd have ended up in the same position).

QuintessentiallyGhoulish · 27/10/2014 16:30

Next time call her perhaps? At least then you know whether she is getting the message or not.

bonkersLFDT20 · 27/10/2014 16:31

YABU to expect her to be respond to txts and calls outside of her contract.

YANBU to expect her to turn up at 14:30 today. Did she give an explanation for being 1/2hr late. Is there a precedent set for turning up when the children are actually there? That's the only reason I can think that she might have thought it was OK to arrive at 3pm today. If there was no change to her contracted hours this week then you didn't need to run through the plans for this week in the first place.

Original poster

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 16:32

Quint, I will, though it wouldn't have helped in this case because her phone is broken. However I texted because I was aware it was the weekend and I didn't want to interrupt her too much if she was doing things

OP posts:

eeyore12 · 27/10/2014 16:33

As a nanny if you said to me that they would be dropped off at three I would be there at 2.30 my normal time just in case they were a little early if nothing else.

As for being in contact over the weekend my bosses have texted me about changes in plans with an apology for texting at the weekend/ evening but if it is relation to my next working day then that is fine, although if her phone broke I don't see how she could know you were trying to contact her, don't you have her land line number anyway although I do also know these days some people only use mobiles so don't have a landline.

Coolas · 27/10/2014 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drinkyourmilk · 27/10/2014 16:39

I'm a nanny.
My employers will occasionally text me out of working hours, and I will sometimes do the same. I reply to all texts and calls I get regardless. To me it's just common courtesy.

From reading your op I had assumed that you wanted her to start at 3pm. I think there has just been a mix up in communication. I wouldn't be furious about it.
Wrt her making sure you had a way of contacting her as her phone was broken- I'd never have considered sending an email etc to let you know. I would have just let you know on the day.

Is there something else going on with her to make you so cross? It seems disproportionate to be furious when she had a clear reason for not being in contact and it was obviously a misunderstanding wrt start time.

Original poster

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 16:40

Eeyore, I have texted her once at the weekend before with profuse apologies and her exact words back to me then were "hiya, texting at the weekend is not a problem at all".

A question for all the other nannies (genuine question because I must be doing this all wrong) how does your employer communicate to you about changes to the kids activities etc when you're out of hours? If my son gets invited to tea at a friends house and I only know about it the evening before because the friends mum has only just called me to ask, how does our nanny know? I don't want her to go up to the school unnecessarily, nor do I want her to worry if ds has already gone home with the other family? That happens quite a lot with us, ds has a friend he often has last minute invites to. How do I deal with those?

OP posts:

Original poster

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 16:45

Drinkyourmilk - if I'm being really honest here I did get a bit panicky about her not turning up. I work 90 mins away, my mum has been really ill recently, in intensive care over the summer - she was happy to have the kids over night, my dad was there too, but I was worried in case the hospital decided to admit her, which they've done in the past. I guess I feel a bit powerless being so far away. That is something I appreciate I'm going to have to deal with, which is why we are paying over the going rate for a nanny we hoped we could rely on 100%. I know shit happens, phones break etc, but in the past when our other nanny had phone issues she emailed me to let me know she was only available on her landline or email. I was fine with that.

OP posts:

ChocoholicNanny · 27/10/2014 16:46

For the families I've worked for if there is a change in plans i.e no longer need to pick up a child from school as they have a play date e.c.t the parent normally leaves a note with all this on for me to read when I get in.

NannyNim · 27/10/2014 16:50

You seem to be getting a real kicking on here and I can't understand why. Perhaps communication could have been clearer regarding whether or not she was expected to start at 3 or simply expect the children home at 3 but even so, if she was in doubt she should have either asked or turned up at 14:30 as that's when she's paid from.

as for the not answering messages thing, I agree that the weekend is her own to as she likes with but nannying is a unique job in that we are employed for our flexibility. Of course, every nanny has the right to say no to extra hours/changes of hours but I do think it's courteous to be contactable during time off or at least to inform employers if you're going to be unavailable (e.g. your phone has broken). I'm live-in and would hate it if my employers kept hounding me at the weekends but I appreciate that children are unpredictable beings and childcare often needs to be flexible so I don't mind the odd request on a Sunday evening to slightly alter my hours as long as I have no other plans. But maybe I'm unusual in that....

Original poster

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 16:50

Chocoholic, I suspect our nanny isn't coming in to ours before school pick up, because notes have been missed in the past.

I'm going to have to make it absolutely clear she needs to come into ours first aren't i? It was what we'd agreed in our contract. Quite possibly she felt that most days it wasn't necessary.

OP posts:

Yerazig · 27/10/2014 17:30

As a nanny sometimes my boss has text me only if it's VERY important, But usually everything can wait till Monday. From your post if I was your nanny I would of taken it the kids were coming back at 3 and I would of probably got there 10mins before. But no unless actually told to come in for 2.30 and wait 30mins a cook a meal or whatever I would of only come in a bit before 3. I think it was an obvious lack of communication and you have different expectations to your nanny in regards to hours being changed around and what time she should exactly get there for.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/10/2014 18:06

Doesn't bother me at all being texted when out of hours

Yes nanny was slack not to turn up at 2.30 tho sounds like she thought you meant come in at 3pm

What I do find weird is that if you were so worried why didnt you email her or go to her house - assume both were on her cv and in contract - she has your email so you should have hers

It was her private time so no need to tell you her phone had broken tbh

Was a mixture of miscommunication and crossed wires

FlorenceMattell · 27/10/2014 18:49

I have no problems with employers texting or emailing me anytime. Communication is vital I feel.
I can't understand why thr nanny wasn't there, did she turn up at 3 pm ? Did your parents drop the children later?

LuckyLopez · 27/10/2014 18:54

Oh this is one of those

Am I wrong?

Yes.

No I'm not....

threads.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/10/2014 19:53

What do you pay out of interest? You say over the going rate

schlafenfreude · 27/10/2014 20:00

Tbh if you were expecting her to turn up at the usual time there was no need to contact her and a note on arrival for any changes is fine. It's not like she doesn't have any leeway - you pay her from 2.30 so she can flex around changing conditions presumably!

As to the contacting out of hours, no I don't tend to, but if I need to then I will email and request a read receipt.

nannyH1 · 27/10/2014 20:35

Agree there is no problem contacting her outside her working hours. Lots of bosses do, but why did you txt her to say the grandparents weren't dropping the children off until 3 if you expected her to be there from 2:30 anyway? a note or txt that morn would have been fine.

chocchipbrioche · 27/10/2014 20:37

I've had this with a previous employer who kept contacting me all weekend for ridiculous reasons and I had to tell her this wasn't acceptable. On the other hand though I think it's totally acceptable for a boss to contact you at the weekend with a quick question or query, especially if it involves changing the routine or working hours.
I feel all your nanny needed to do was send a quick reply to say 'yep ok' or 'no sorry I have made plans' etc but as her phone was broken its a moot point.
I think you have to write this off as a one off and make yourself clearer next time. I don't think you deserve the pasting you've got on here it sounds like miscommunication but I do suggest not going off on one at your nanny as that wouldn't be fair.

Original poster

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 20:51

Blondes £13.50 ph gross. Am I wrong thinking that's an above average rate for south east (not in London)?

OP posts:

nannynick · 27/10/2014 21:15

£11.76 per hour was Home Counties average for live-out 50 hours per week in the 2013 wages survey (pdf)
The part-time aspect of your particular job would mean a bit higher, so I would say you are above average rate but you need to be to find someone who will do the hours you need.

My boss and I use email and text messages to communicate. It seems to work for us. There does need to be a response system, as you never really know if someone has got the text or email.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/10/2014 21:20

I earn £13 gross for normal hours so tbh it's not that high to me iyswim

ESP as an after school or limited hour position

Also South East

Out of curiosity again lol - if your phone didn't work over the weekend would uou try and get hold of nanny to tell her?

OhReallyDear · 27/10/2014 21:37

I think s totally OK for an employer to send a message or a mail to the nanny during the weekend. Mine does and I answer 90 percent of the time. Unless I leave the country for the weekend, as I sometimes does, them i don't receive my message and my boss does have to deal with it. I might or might not look at my emails. I don't feel like I have to be available all the time for my employer. I lik e my employers though, so I would always try to help them as much as I can. But if I am not answering one weekend and they freak out, well, I would not like it at all.

13.50 an hour (so around 200 pounds a week?) is a good pay, but certainly not a pay that justify being on call.

Now I agree with you, you are absolutelly entitled to want her to be there at 14.30. But your message was confusing . So you have no reason to be fuming. You should never assume that soething is obvious, you should just be clear.

Original poster

OuchyMcOuch · 27/10/2014 21:48

She does 20 hours per week with us, so yes we pay a bit more than the agency suggested (she's young, fairly limited sole charge experience, but she's been great so no quibbles with pay at all) I made sure when we interviewed that the person who got the job may need to change hours by an hour occasionally during the holidays, so she was aware this was a possibility. I didn't just spring it on her. During the longer holidays (Christmas/ summer etc she does full days with us if she's available or willing to do them - I'm happy for her to work as much extra as she wants when we need it)

OP posts:

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