Au Pair - hours, duties, benefits and pay

[ManyHatsOn]

We've had an au pair for the first time this year and after nearly 3 months and despite a few hiccups ("We don't drink wine and beer at lunchtime when it's a) my wine and b) you didn't ask and c) you're about to head out in the car on the school run" "No??", "Er, no!"), it's going pretty well and we are all pretty happy. It's taken a good amount of adjustment for everyone in the household, particularly me, and I've had to come to accept certain things that that I hate personally (e.g. he stays in bed half the day - but it's his free time so he's perfectly entitled to it).

To help me calibrate my expectations I would be really interested therefore to get a straw poll of the following if you're willing to share. My answers below to start it off:

1. Number and age of kids?

2. How many hours of core childcare duties?

3. What's involved in those core childcare duties?

4. How many hours of other core duties e.g. housework?

5. How many hours of non-core evening babysitting?

6. How much pocket money per week?

7. What extra benefits/perks?

8. General scenario

9. DD 8yo, DS 5 yo

10. 30 hours - 7.00-8.30am and 3pm-7.30pm

11. Morning: supervise breakfast and kids getting ready for school, load/unload dishwasher, clear dining room and kitchen after breakfast. Afternoon/evening: pick up from school, supervise homework, lifts to playdates/clubs, cook tea for kids, clear up after, run bath, prepare kids/beds, supervise one child to bed.

12. 2 hours - 1 hour twice a week. I give specific things to be done e.g. clean kitchen window, vacuum downstairs etc. Never the toilets and bathrooms, never the washing.

13. Varies. Some weeks none, some weeks 2 x 3 or 4 hours.

14. £120 per week.

15. Free use of 2 cars, free iPhone + paid for calls/texts/data, sole use of a decent push bike, Sundays off, holiday of 1.66 days per month, bank holidays off.

16. The kids are pretty self sufficient. I work from home/DH around often also so sole care of kids is limited. DH or I take take kids to school. I am here throughout but working until 7pm. DH and I share bedtime duties with AP. We do the cooking and AP joins all family meals and sits with us in the evenings. AP has full access to same food/drink as us inc alcohol - all of this is paid for by us (and costs about £150-200 per month extra to our normal shopping bill). I do all washing including AP's. I clean all bathrooms and toilets and don't expect him to do this. We pay for him for any activities where he is with us as a family e.g. theatre, day trips even if it's on a Sunday. Although he's got no official duties on Saturday, he pitches in with us in the garden, general maintenance duties as necessary 'as part of the family' - by prior arrangement. He goes to college and pays for this himself. He's very flexible if our family routine has to shift for work or whatever.

Having an au pair has taught me lots of things including just how much effort it is being a parent and how many hours I was putting in in the year just passed when I was working almost full time, having no childcare and and my husband away for a work Mon-Fri! So thank goodness for our au pair :)

I should have added that I'm in Surrey.

On our 7th Au-pair - East Mids

1. Number and age of kids? 1 child 9 years

2. How many hours of core childcare duties? 7:15 - 8:30 3:10 - varies

3. What's involved in those core childcare duties? Supervise preparation for school, walk to school. Collect from school 3 times a week and supervise until I get home, this can be as early as 4pm and as late as 10pm. Play games, make cakes.

4. How many hours of other core duties e.g. housework? Basic housework, washing and ironing.

5. How many hours of non-core evening babysitting? varies, some weeks non, some weeks 2 nights.

6. How much pocket money per week? £80, bonus at christmas and end of contract.

7. What extra benefits/perks? paid during school holidays, very little expected during this time - opportunity to travel, go home etc.

8. General scenario: We need someone who is flexible, there are times when we need more help, but the pay back is we will pay during the school holidays, even if they want to go home, travel or stay in bed. Close to a city (walking distance), close to the country and brilliant parks, we offer a bicycle and mobile phone. We encourage voluntary work in a charity shop to help with English and the current one is offering babysitting to friends to top up her money. She has a massive room at the top of the house, sky, wifi, shower room etc. Not that we expect her to spend all her time there.

We eat together, take it in turns to cook and will purchase things if they need it and if reasonable. In the past we have even taken two of the au-pairs in holiday with us, to say thank you for all their hard work. They do become part of the family.

Hth

2nd AP.

1. 2,4,6
2. varies each week depending on our schedules. Monthly and weekly sit down preparing schedules.
3. schoolrun, activities, playgroups, dinner bed bath. Shared duties with mum and dad, we all pitch in, and the AP has a good say and input in what she wants to do with the kids once she is established.
4. general tidying up and kitchen clean, but I am clear that the kids come first. I would rather the AP finished the game with the kids rather than worry about the crumbs on the floor. Its give and take and trust but works so far. We have a cleaner weekly.
5. 1 night per week so I can go for a run
6. £85 plus mobile and contract capped. Mobile must be returned in good nick at the end of the year or replaced if lost or damaged.
7. village setting, lots of AP's around so both AP's have had a busy social life. AP ispart of the family and we make it clear her place is somewhere between eldest daughter and 3rd adult in the house. I have been very pickyrecruiting and made it very clear in our ad what out expectations were. We also let AP 1 interview the candidates for no 2, which was very helpful! The Ap eats all meals with us, free reign of any foods and drink. Both girls have been amazing and we could not cope without them. Just having the third person around has meant the children have much less stress not having to be dragged around to eachothers activities and school runs, and they all get lots of one on one time.

Third au pair
1/ 3,6,8
2/ 20 hours childcare plus 2 babysits (after 8pm counts as babysitting time). Usually three mornings and four after school/nursery. (Afterschool usually 3.30/7.30). But it varies each week - I give her the schedule on a Sunday evening. Sometimes we don't need her on a Friday and she has a long weekend.
3/collecting or dropping off at school/nursery, dinner, bed and bath, playing, dropping off at activities - shared usually with me.
4/ 5 hours housework - big kitchen clean once a week, putting away children's clothes, changing their sheets, tidying their rooms and playroom. No ironing or washing.
5/ 2 nights babysitting included - current au pair doesn't want to do more than that so I use sitters for extra babysitting if needed.
6/ £100/week
7/gym membership, young person's railcard, she also has a separate flat and use of a car (for social as well as work), petrol limited.
8/ we like independent au pairs, so she is rarely around outside working hours. Usually she drops of the boys off at school once or twice a week and picks up once or twice a week, same with nursery. She is around most evenings either doing the drop offs for activites or being at home to help out.
We only eat with her in the evenings once or twice a week so she cooks in her own kitchen and we provide a food allowance, though she often eats breakfast with us in the mornings.
I also insist that they take English lessons - our local college only caters for intermediate speakers. We have a big au pair community and I think that is a bonus too.

Thanks for your replies. I think we're super-lucky with our AP, particularly since we didn't really know what we were doing as we were selecting him! Next time I would definitely actively look for independence as that's something I've realised I value in this chap.

1. 2 kids 6 and 4 years old.
2. 25 hours 8-9 and 3-7pm (often slightly less)
3. Dropping/taking kids to/from school, preparing food for them, taking to a park, collecting from afterschool activities
4. No housework duties outside core hours; washing up, cooking and dealing with kids laundry if necessary during core hours
5. 2/week evening babysittings
6. 90
7. Mobile phone with 5 giffgaff, Wifi, basic bedroom (no ensuite), will add bus travelcard or car insurance if/when we move from London zone 4 to suburbs (zone 5).
8. Ours is very considerate male aupair.