CMs would you have been annoyed with me????

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My CM has looked after 4.8 yr DS sine he was 8 months - 3 days per week. I have been on Mat leave since May and have been paying her half rate - I just told her last week that when I go back to work i want to do 2 days rather than 3 (I haven't been paying for the space she kept for DD) She turned around and said she's turned down social services when they called her and said they had a set of 8mnth old twins they wanted to place mon tues wed (I used to work wed - fri) I felt terrible when she said as I know she uses the money she gets to pay the uni fees and rent for her 2 daughters. I'm not sure what I should do/say, I haven't actually given her a solid date that I'm returning to work as doc wants to sign me off with PND.

it sounds to me like you have givem her notice and as a childminder myself i probably would be upset but then look for more work....it happens and it isn't your fault

you can see her point of veiw
if your boss phoned up tomorrow while your on mat leave and said to you he could only offer you 2 days instead of the orangial 3 you would be cross
let her get over it i'm sure more people will phone her
you have to put you and your family first
at least you did give her warning

she's been so good and flexib;e I really didn't want to upset her when i was recovering from c section she'd pick up ds and take him to nursery and then drop him back when he finished - any ideas how i can make it up to her??

I know you didn't intend to upset her - but flick it round, you expecting to go back to work for 3 days & her telling you only has 2 available

I think oensty might be the way to go

Explain that it is a recent decision and that you will pay for the 3rd day until she fills it (or at least part of it)

With any luck she will say no - but at least you will have made an offer

I also think you need to discuss the PND & her position then

i know it's really hard to please everyone but i really think she'll get over it however disappointed she may be now. i am a cm too and have been treated far worse by some of my parents, don't offer to pay for the third day unless you are going to increase your days in the future and want her to keep a place open for your children, but buy her something really nice to show that you have appreciated her. if she's good and you recommend her then she'll easily fill the space

Under the circumstances she could have contacted you to check your hours/days would be the same before turning down the twins so don't feel too bad. It sounds like she was having a bad day!

she shouldnt have said anything....you have given her notice what else could you have done. i hate it when you hear of minders who are so obviously just in it for the money. sorry, but im in a bad mood anyway.