Nanny is displeased

[princessgraceofmonaco]

We have a live out nanny, she's been with us over 2 years now. In all respects no problems. She has babysitting one night a month as part of her contracted hours, the night is chosen by mutual agreement several weeks ahead.

However when we go out on other nights we prefer to pay a local teenager - it costs half the price our nanny charges. I am sure nanny would like the extra money from babysitting but we really can't justify her prices when we have a great babysitter who charges a lot less (and the kids are in bed within an hour of us leaving the house).

But I know our nanny grumbles to herself and resents that she is not first choice babysitter but she won't reduce her rate to anything near what we pay the teenager. I know there is nothing I can do to alter this but I am at the point where I try to hide the fact that we are going out!!!!

How does anyone else handle this?

Just talk to her about it and explain that as the kids are asleep within half an hour of going out, you prefer to pay the lesser rate - if she wants to be offered the extra income at that price then she would be your first choice babysitter but if not, then you'll stick with the tried and trusted teenager for those nights.

I love the title of the thread by the way.

What about 'Mummy is displeased"? If Nanny lowered her rates, then perhaps Nanny would get more business.

Alternatively, if you felt you wanted to, you could suggest to Nanny that if she is looking for other nights of babysitting, that you would recommend her to your friends if they need someone.

I don't think she has much to complain about. If you were getting another local nanny in who you were paying similar rates to her then she'd be right to be peeved.

If the resentment is obvious or she is making comments I'd be quite firm that whilst you very much value her services during the day, you don't feel that you need a full nanny level service for babysitting in the evenings and so you are looking for value for money in that and she should not take that as any reflection on her.

I think I'd do some soft soaping to smooth things over. (Depends how susceptible she is to flannel!)

'Oh nanny you know you would *always^ be our first choice for babysitting. I wish we could justify the cost of dinner and you. I mean, X is very sweet, but she's not you. Still, at least the children are in bed so I suppose it's not as important as their daytime childcare where they're learning so much... Blah blah blah.'

Sorry, italic fail.

How do you know she grumbles and resents she's not your first choice? Maybe there's nothing like this going through her mind it could be all you in your head.

You're also supporting the local teenager into employment - it's bloody hard for teens to get a job that fits around school etc, and a good reference and the experience you're giving him/her will be invaluable.

Fwiw, I think she's probably displeased because she feels by employing the teenager instead of her you are valuing a young, relatively inexperienced girl at the same level as her... Of course you aren't! But I reckon if you reassure your nanny that it is an economic decision; and, (more importantly) that you value her and her experience hugely, that will go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

If the nanny isn't saying anything to you or anyone else i.e. she's grumbling only to herself then you may well be completely misreading the situation. Maybe she wishes her job offered more overtime because she needs the money? It's not anything personal.

Just carry on using the babysitter and explain that you use her because she's cheaper.

If she's complaining openly to you or others then that is a different issue.

Love the arse licking gunpowder

She may feel a bit peeved that you doesn't ask - but do mention that you use teenager as cheaper but if she wanted to match her hourly rate then course you would use her

Why do you think nanny is displeased. Did she say to you?

The teenage babysitters need to think themselves lucky round where we are. They get paid more per hour to babysit for one child who is asleep than I get for childminding the same child when they are awake and being entertained and educated all day. That's not fair.

Op, if nanny wants the extra work, she needs to agree to the lower pay like her competition. If she doesn't want to do that, she doesn't get the job.

Blondes. it's positive feedback.

Have you offered her the babysitting at the reduced rate?

At least that way she gets to turn it down.

I'm a nanny who occasionally hands over to student/teenage babysitters, I think it is GREAT as I get the evening off!

(but they never do extras like tidying up from dinner, emptying the dishwasher or laying up for Breakfast or sorting laundry as I would if I was babysitting so there is sometimes extra washing up after they've been here! and sometimes they call me rather than the parents if its a minor worry/can't find something so I can't completely switch off...)

Please don't spout the bollocks that gunpowder recommended. Presumably your nanny is a grown up and while she is being rather immature to moan she doesn't need patronising.

But what gunpowder is saying wouldn't be bollocks. It would be entirely true.

and the nanny isn't moaning, the OP think she's 'grumbling to herself', which is entirely different.

Well, she's allowed to grumble to herself, and you're allowed to use cheaper childcare if you're a bit stretched. No issue, really!

A good many is worth keeping happy though.

nanny not many!