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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

How DO you choose?

18 replies

motherpeculiar · 28/09/2006 00:00

I am stumped, honestly. I've seen 5 women for this p/t nannying position and thought they were all good in some ways. None were absolutely outstanding and none abyssmal (or maybe they were but I didn't notice). Help me decide who to invite back for a short trial run. Please. I need someone from next week and I can't bear to look at any more cvs. Mumsnet interview panel, help me...

  1. 19 yo Polish woman. 4 years experience, 2 last years with a family with two kids similar ages to ours. Only leaving cos the mum has given up work. Good written reference, haven't followed it up yet. Seems to genuinely love kids and was good with ours in the short time she spent with them. CRB and First aid. Studying beauty (not quite my cup of tea as a study topic but there ya go) two days a week and the days we want her are exactly the other three - so she is likelt to stay with us for at least the 9 months of term. Speaks very "innit" iykwim, talks an awful lot (really, a lot), was wearing REALLY high heels to the interview and says she loves heels (she'd left them at the door and I commented on them when she put them back on)- not sure what I think about this, or why I mention except that I find it hard to imagine her kicking a ball in those heels...
  1. 27 yo Turkish woman, just finished MA in international history (more my cuppa) and planning to do a PhD from next sept. Wants to work p/t while she writes her proposal etc. Flexible on the days. Quite quiet but seemed to have nice sense of fun. Maybe a bit timid? Helped out with the kids around a VERY chaotic lunch table at the interview but wasn't overbearing. Worry she might be a bit too quiet? Has only had one job before, 2 years ago, for two years, live in au pair but had sole charge of two kids when parents at work. Would say she would be good at helping with the kid's stuff and generally helpful around the house. Had to be prompted to say goodbye to the kids however, but might have felt bamboozled at that stage
  1. excellent qualified nanny, Aus, 34. Years of experience, reams of glowing references. obviously expects higher salary which we could just about scrape together. would bring her own son to work and would be tied to his afternoon nursery school drop off from January which would dictate the day a bit. has a very definite style, strict boundaries, strict on manners, we worry she'd be too strict on us, nevermind the kids. I think DH was a bit terrified of her tbh. He works from home a fair bit and I don't think she likes having parents underfoot. We think, although in a sense she is the obvious choice, she is the only one we aren't really considering - not because she wasn't great, which she was, but maybe there would be a bit of a clash of styles (her very defined one vs our more nebulous free and easy one) and also we are a bit concerned about the dynamics of introducing another child (her son was very sweet) into the equation with our two, who are developing a really lovely relationship atthe moment.
  1. 36 yo British woman, media freelancer (does fashion castings/fashion styling etc. ) VERY cool and fashion savvy. Wonderfully expressive face, big smile. 5 years nannying experience over a 19 year very mixed career so it obviously is not her main priority but she seems to really like kids and obviously wants some dependable hard cash coming in each week.We quizzed her about the freelancing taking priority over the nannying job and she assured us not (but then she would) - said freelancing often at weekends etc - yet somehow I find it hard to imagine her giving up a freelancing opportunity to look after our kids...she reminded me of my best friend and DD1's godmum so I am kind of drawn to her, but probably not sensibly! CRB applied for and first aid course booked. My sister is very suspicious of someone aged 36 who wants to work in the media even thinking of nannying. Is it so weird?
  1. 21 yo Lithuanian woman. 3y exp in UK looking after one little girl, aged 3 to 6. Doesn't want to look after babies but happy with our ages (18m 4y). left last job because she moved accross london and the commute was making her day too long. looking for minimum 3 days (this bit worries me, will she dump us if a 4 day job comes up? it's happened to us before). great with the kids. DD2 took to her IMMEDIATELY and just dragged her around the house. She also works on Sundays teaching kids gymnastics. Seems to genuinely like kids. Very smiley and animated for the first part of the interview, a bit glazed by the end but I may have just quizzed her too much. Whan asked about discipline said she was a bit strict, but when quizzed her attitude seems broadly in line with ours (and tbh current nanny is a bit too wishy washy in that regard and DD1 has her dancing to her tune completely)

when I asked DD1 who she liked she said 4 and 5, and DD2 definitely voted for 5

any thoughts from those of you who've been there, done this? before my brain turns to scrambled mush...

(doesn't help that DH is now in Japan until next week and current nanny's last day is tomorrow!)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mumlove · 28/09/2006 07:28

Hi motherpeculiar after a quick read through this morning I would say no to numbers 3 & 4.
Hope this helps.

jura · 28/09/2006 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumtoall · 28/09/2006 08:07

It's always hard to make the correct choice. Has you nanny seen them? What did she think.
I'd worry about someone going into media. Is she looking for a story!!!!!! even if she does do fashion.
Good Luck

motherpeculiar · 28/09/2006 09:46

Jura, mumlove

why no to those in particular?

just the reasons I said or something else?

nanny hasn't met them so can't comment...(that's a great idea in retrospect)

I hate this

OP posts:
motherpeculiar · 28/09/2006 11:15

anyone else got any helpful insights?

OP posts:
berrycherry · 28/09/2006 11:48

number 1 sounds lovely but so does number 2. I would worry number 5 would leave if offered more hours.

no to 3 and 4. 3 because of her own son changing the growing dynamic of your 2, and 4 for the obvious reasons!

jura · 28/09/2006 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Uwila · 28/09/2006 12:49
  1. No way to the high heel bitty. Terrible role model. Do you want your DD to dress this way?
  1. No. Her heart isn't in it. The all important click factor is missing.
  1. Sounds really good, but you don't seems to be so keen so probably not right for you. I wouldn't pay tons of money to get her in view of it being a nanny share. Would probably offer her same level as her competition.
  1. No, I can't see the attraaction to childcare for her either.
  1. The winner.

I'd call 5 back for that 1/2 day trial. If you like her offer the job. If not sure, offer 3 the 1/2 day trial. And then decxide which you prefer. Be honest about the salary on offer to 3. And take into account that you might need to increase it in 6 months or so to keep her happy (as she may expect a 6 or 12 month review).

motherpeculiar · 28/09/2006 14:17

thanks you lot, very helpful (as ever)

I called no.5's previous employer and she got a resoundingly positive reference (she was with them for 3 years live-in so they should have picked up any quirks) so she is coming for a trial tomorrow

I am still a bit concerned about the possibility of her leaving if more hours materialise elsewhere, but my plan is to be up front with her and ask her to do the same with us, so that if it is becoming an issue for her we can do something about it (offer her an extra half day, or regular babysitting or something...)anyway, that's all a bit premature, let's hope we still think she's the one after tomorrow

Dh hasn't met her at all!

OP posts:
mumlove · 28/09/2006 14:18

I'm back. My thoughts.

3- money side, her own son changing your childrens routine, the bit (I think DH was a bit terrified of her tbh.) remember your children and you have to like her.

4- Just doesn't sound right.

I am a childminder and have always found the best instincts come from the child 1st.

Just a ? about number 1 what would she say if you gave her some trainers and slippers to wear while working.

motherpeculiar · 28/09/2006 14:30

thansk for that mumlove

If things don't work out with no.5 will probably go for no.2 next, though not sure...

fingers crossed for number 5

OP posts:
Uwila · 29/09/2006 15:23

So, any news....

motherpeculiar · 29/09/2006 16:01

no 5 came for 4 hours today and seemed great. I offered her the job and she said she'd let me know tonight as she had another offer. Bah!

so, we'll see

No doubt I will be back on here moaning if she turns it down

OP posts:
Uwila · 29/09/2006 16:15

No, you'll take it in stride, ring up the next one and get on with it.

Today's stress is tomorrow's routine.

motherpeculiar · 29/09/2006 16:30

you are right of course

(I may regret paying her yet!)

OP posts:
Uwila · 29/09/2006 16:32

I'm sayin' Nothin'!!

motherpeculiar · 29/09/2006 16:35

I can read your mind tho'

OP posts:
Uwila · 29/09/2006 16:37

You are scarying me. I have to go now.

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