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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

am I being petty

50 replies

TotallyOuted · 01/10/2014 21:11

Sorry if this is a bit long but want to get everything that may be important in the first post.

Our nanny was mentioning another person who wanted her to look after their baby (about 1 i think), i was thinking goody nanny share i will pay less money, so agreed, expecting to hear from the other parent to discuss details. When i didn't hear from her i thought it had all fallen through.

This morning i discover that she isn't charging this other person but doing it as favours, so swapping days basically. And one of these days she has the baby is a day she also has my child (currently 3 years old).
So my nanny is looking after somebody elses child for free. Whilst I am paying her, her normal hourly rate, to look after my child, her own baby and this other child.

Now upto here I have a cast iron case, BUT i expect her to let my eldest son have friends round to play after school, so looking after more kids for her money.

Am i being petty to be upset about this friend's child or reasonable?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/10/2014 21:48

Naked willies often cold

ConcreteElephant · 01/10/2014 21:51

She really can't do this. She's having her cake and eating it - and you're paying for her to do it. Presumably her baby and the almost 1 year old are similar ages? Hardly fair on your 3 yr old.

This needs knocking on the head and if you do decide to continue with her in your employment, it may be a good idea to get a bit more structure in place. I sort of want to say 'remind her who's boss' but without it sounding as bad as that! She can't keep bobbing about the county with your child in tow, she's supposed to be caring for him/her, not carting them about to suit her plans...

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 01/10/2014 21:52

what if she never looked after them at the same time?

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Original poster

TotallyOuted · 01/10/2014 21:54

Just so everyone knows, i liked her taking her around visiting relatives, it is exactly what i would be doing if she was in my care and one of the drivers for a nanny was she would get the same style of care i would provide.

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ConcreteElephant · 01/10/2014 21:55

That would be ok but I'd still want to discuss the fact that it's now effectively a nanny share. You don't want her doing lots of activities on the days she has the two littlies, then deciding to have quiet days when she's with you, for example, if you want her to be taking your DC out, hosting play dates etc.

ConcreteElephant · 01/10/2014 21:57

Re: your last post - she's very lucky that you are happy for her to go about her business while caring for your DD, I can see how that makes it a very normal family environment for her. Not all employers would be happy with that, she'd do well to keep you on side!

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 01/10/2014 22:06

I have sent for me a very strongly worded email.

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MokunMokun · 02/10/2014 09:59

Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a child minder rather than a nanny? It seems odd to pay for the privilege of a nanny when you are happy for her to act like a child minder. Perhaps a better compromise would be for your nanny to register herself as a child minder and you can renegotiate her contract? It might work out better for you all.

Ps. I'm not an expert in these things so no idea how easy it would be to set up.

heebiegeebie · 02/10/2014 15:26

Any response to your email op?

Greenfizzywater · 02/10/2014 16:19

Blimey, I'd be furious if I found out my nanny was looking after someone else's child on my time! Your son having playdates is irrelevant. You are paying for her time and it is for you as her employer to plan the days - or let her plan them - as agreed between you, not for her to be working for others at the same time, whether paid or unpaid. You have been remarkably patient!

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 02/10/2014 17:02

It didn't go well. Not well at all.
Not looking forward to going home when i have to meet her for the first time today.

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Original poster

TotallyOuted · 02/10/2014 17:06

That sounds odd, but the nanny picked her up from pre school at lunchtime

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FlusterFairy1 · 02/10/2014 17:25

You are employer, speak with her when the children are not around and find out exactly what is going on. Then decide what to do.

MaryWestmacott · 02/10/2014 17:49

Realistically, she's breaking hte law. You don't want this, if she wants to be a childminder, she can start the registration process and then resign from your employ, and you'll look at hiring her as a childminder for your DC.

Remember, you agreed to a nanny share when you thought you'd get something out of it, you paying less, but the only person getting anything out of this was her, getting free childcare in exchange for her labour.

mipmop · 02/10/2014 18:03

You're in the right here. She has broken your contact and broken the rules . Don't let her bully you.

Sunflowersareblue · 02/10/2014 18:05

What did your email say?

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 02/10/2014 20:40

not really happy saying what the email said. but a summary of the salient points of this thread.

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DearGirl · 02/10/2014 20:44

How did your conversation go?

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 02/10/2014 21:07

nothing was said at all, as the kids were about. i joined in a game of ludo.
I am waiting for a response about the 3 families issue, so am not in a hurry to speed things up

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WickedGirl · 02/10/2014 21:24

do you have a contract with your nanny? Mine states that during my working hours, I am not to carry out any other work paid or unpaid without written permission from my boss.

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 02/10/2014 22:26

do you have a contract with your nanny? Mine states that during my working hours, I am not to carry out any other work paid or unpaid without written permission from my boss.

Yes i will be using this an an example when the conversation does finally happen.
Does anyone know if ofstead actually answer emails?

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Blondeshavemorefun · 03/10/2014 10:47

This needs to be sorted out asap

You are the employer and you say along the lines of - we discussed a nanny share but as you are a nwoc this isn't legal as will be 3 families involved so will mean you need to register as a cm of you want to look after this other child

Make clear that she looks after your dc alone during working
Hours

Or give her a formal warning. What she did was tech naughty tho she claim
You agreed to it - but if she does then say that a lower salary wasnt discussed

Tbh I think you would be better off with a diff nanny

Original poster

TotallyOuted · 06/10/2014 20:13

well everything is sorted, i let the nanny know i wasn't happy, and said i was investigating the legalities.
I contacted the official body providing a quote and asking them for clarification. they sent me a link to the document i got the quote from, what a bunch of usless .

Today she informed me she was no longer looking after the other child as she couldn't manage it.

so happy ending

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nannynick · 06/10/2014 20:18

Good to hear the situation got resolved.

Not surprised at the official body just sending a document link.

Jinxxx · 07/10/2014 10:31

A nanny who can't manage three children! Now that would concern me.

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