Report to Ofsted?

[SolaceDenied]

Hi, a couple of weeks ago my 9yo daughter was at after school club with her 8 yo sister. When I arrived one of the ply workers said there had been a bit of a disagreement between herself and my 9yo about tidying up at the end of the day and that she wouldn't listen. At home my kids stated that the play worker had taken some of my daughter's own toys and threatened to hide them where she would never find them again if she wouldn't help. This is what caused the argument which then spilled out into the outside area where the play worker then grabbed a new cushion I had bought as a present and threw it onto the roof of the building. My 9 yo was distressed and my 8yo verified this had happened and that she and some other children managed to get the cushion down by climbing onto a shed roof at the side of the building and used a broom to drag it over the edge. I sent an email to the manager who stated that it was my daughters behaviour that wouldn't be tolerated but I was welcome to view CCTV, which I did. Although no sound it shows my daughter and the play worker arguing and then the cushion being thrown on the roof at which point my daughter is shown to kick the play worker in anger. The CCTV was cut off at that point. The manager said she would deal with it but as the play worker was away for a week she would deal on her return. I have heard nothing since about it until 3 days after the return of the play worker where I said she would not apologise and that my daughter should apologise first! My daughters had apparently asked for an apology on her first day back but stated "the past is the past". I have refused to take my children there since but I've just had a voicemail from the manager 2 weeks afterthem not going in that she would like a meeting to conclude the issue. Clearly nothing is going to be done about this woman's behaviour but I am so angry with her! What should I do? Should I go to Ofsted?

I'm not sure it's Ofsted you need to contact, lots of after school clubs don't fit the criteria for needing to be Ofsted registered. I would put in an official letter of complaint in to the club its self, stating that you'll be taking it further. Is the club affiliated with any other organisations (eg council / the church where it meets, etc)? I would let them know your concerns too. If it is totally independent then maybe take it up with the local authority.

I would be livid. I'd go to the top of whoever runs it.

I don't care if your DD's were rude, kicked the play worker or whatever. She is supposedly an adult in a trusted position, this is not acceptable.

I would have sorted this out before the girls went back. Them asking her for an apology isn't really the way this should have been handled.

I would also be addressing your DD's behaviour.

Your 9yo dd kicked an adult??!!! And how huge a bollocking did she get for that? Too right your dd should apologise

The biggest 2 issues here I can see are:

1. Children on the shed roof
2. Daughter kicking someone

Also, play worker needs appropriate behaviour management training.

Is it a school after school club? Outside agency?

I disagree that those are the two main issues.

I think THE main issue is that a supposed adult who is in trusted position of after school care worker is taunting a child by hiding their toys and throwing their things up on a roof.

Sod anything else.

Well, yes, that is certainly an issue, and definitely should be dealt with, but the fact that an adult allowed them to climb on the roof is horrendous.

So an argument clearly got out of hand. Your dd has to take some responsibility for winding up the staff and her violent reaction but at the end of the day the staff should be trained to diffuse volatile situations and not engage. You really need to exhaust the official complaints process before going to Ofsted. However there must have been a H and S risk to the children climbing, presumably unsupervised.

As an aside does she need to take a cushion and toys to ASC?

I grew up in the 70's, I can't get too aerated by kids climbing on a shed roof.

No, a child doesn't have to take any responsibility for 'winding up' a supposed adult in charge of her care.

You don't think provocative behaviour such as refusal to cooperate in the tidying up should be addressed ? Obviously there are better ways for the staff to react than as described so am not excusing her behaviour. She may have had a bad day but she should not take it out on a child.

I would be addressing the safety issue of kids climbing on the shed roof as a priority and then asking for a review of behaviour management with the member of staff involved as throwing the cushion is taunting & inflammatory. However, refusing to tidy up, arguing and kicking is something I would expect from a frustrated toddler not a 9 year old so I would be dealing with your dd's behaviour and letting her know the consequences to her actions.

Eta unless there are special needs involved I would allow your dd to take her own toys/cushion into the club.

Urrrm.

If someone acted that way towards a child being badly behaved then they shouldn't work with children.

Yes children can all be badly behaved at times. Yes this needs to be addressed, no this should not be addressed by acting horrible and unprofessional!

No the little girl shouldn't have kicked the member of staff, but if someone nicked something of mine and threw it on a roof I would be quite tempted to give them a swift kick and all, and I'm a grown adult who hates violence of any sort.

Ask for their complaints procedure and be sure to follow it to the letter.

Say it wasn't an adult, say a child and your DD had an argument, that child pinched her stuff and threw it onto a roof and then your child kicked her.

If that happened in my class both children would be reprimanded for being unkind and given strategies to deal with disagreements in the future.

In this case it was a fully grown supposedly responsible adult that threw someone's property onto a roof during a disagreement. If she did that to another adults property that would be bad enough, but she did it to a small child's property who she was supposed to be responsible enough to care for!

I can't believe some people think this is ok?

Of course the DD should apologise for kicking and be given better ways to deal with bullies, especially grown adult bullies.

But the adult in my mind should get a formal warning at the very least!

I think you should have complain to the police the day you have learnt that children where allowed to clinb on the roof. It is not acceptable under any circumstance

Now honestly, your 9 year old refuse tot idy up when asked, argue with the play worker then kicked her???? How does your daughter beahve at the club normally? maybe the woman got just tired to have to deal with a brat and not being able to do anything about it.

She is 9 ffs, not 4 years old, She should know better by now. I would be ashamed if my kids behave like this.

[confised] why would the police be interested in kids climbing up to retrieve a cushion with a broom handle?

I think the kids club needs to be investigated about the security. Police or wathever service is supposed to do it. I am not English, but where I come from, when something illegal - like when the people responsible for your children's security let them climb on the roof- is done to register a complaint and let them investigate further about the place.

But maybe I misunderstood and nothing dangerous happened/it wasn't the afterschool club's fault. Then the only problem is OP's daughter behaviour

Thanks for your responses. The manager I spoke to initially was very shocked at my daughters behaviour as she had never seen her behave that way and said she understood she was very annoyed and frustrated that her property had been thrown on the roof. My kids have been at this place for all of their lives and all the staff members know them from being babies except this woman who started her job there last year. Obviously I reprimanded my daughter for kicking but that is not the issue as the problem started by the play worker threatening to take my daughters things off her where she would never find them. At the end of the day a 'highly trained professional' as the manager called her threw a child's property onto a roof. If she did that to your child, what would you do? It doesn't matter why she had taken toys in - though they are allowed.. The play worker probably didn't know a bunch of kids would try to get the property off the roof by climbing onto a shed roof. She no doubt thought it would stay up there until end of term when a caretaker goes up there and gets all the balls down.

I don't know who you should go to, but this needs to escalate - the play worker is the adult in charge, she should not be acting like a child.

Obviously your daughter should help tidy, and shouldn't kick, but I can understand that she reacted that way in frustration at the bullying behaviour by someone placed in authority over her.

The play worker should not be getting into an argument with the children at all. She should have access to help if she is struggling to control the children.

Your dd however sounds very unruly and should be following instructions to tidy up. The fact that she felt it was ok to kick the adult is also v worrying. It sounds like the boundaries at this club are blurred and maybe your dd has been allowed too much leeway and this is how this situation has developed. The manager needs to see that behaviour management is improved. You need to see that your dd understands her behaviour in kicking the play worker was v serious. If u were you, I would complain to the club that the children are not being managed well and that the worker should have some training. The apology is just rubbish and irrelevant and would send your dd the wrong message that her behaviour was Ok. You need to punish your dd for kicking and not doing as she wa told. Simply reprimanding her and then focussing your energies on this apology is not going to deal with the bad behaviour.