Host Family Needed Urgently!!!!

[Simmy12]

Hello all.

My au pair just came up to me and told me a very horrifying story about one of her au pair friends - she is getting terribly abused and molested, and says that the host father tried to sleep with her!

She has very limited access to internet so my au pair and I decided to try and do our best with finding a new family as soon as possible for her, preferably in London so they could be closer.

If anyone knows of any families, or if you need an au pair and would be willing to help the poor girl out - please let me know or pm me, we are trying to get her out that place as soon as possible!

If she is being abused and molested she needs to go to the police.

The police probably won't do much. I know stories from a few au pairs who had such problems, the police did next to nothing, they wrote up a report and then return the girls back.

I agree that she needs to go to the police.

Simmy12, have pm'ed you.

If she is being sexually molested the police WILL do something. They won't just send her away .

Just to make things clear, we have called her and asked if she wanted to go to the police. But the poor thing is just stressed and scared and only wants to get away from them without any more drama to accompany it, so no police.

I honestly think if she's been through all of this the best place for her for a little while is home with her own family, not plunging headlong into another au pair role. But just my view.

If this is not reported to the police, it could happen to someone else. It needs to be reported. Get the au pair away from the house into safety and then report.

There are lots of jobs on gumtree in London for au pairs.

I always put in my au pair bible about what to do if you meet someone who is being exploited. (Maybe I need to add something about being abused too).

My last au pair met a nice girl who was being paid £60 for basically a 45 hour week +babysitting. She had found another position in London within the week. She can buy a very cheap phone with internet access very easily. My au pairs deal is 8/10 pounds a month.

She is being terribly abused, molested and at risk to be sexually abused and you leave her there, trying to find another family? Why do I have the feeling that you are just someone trying to find an au pair job without having to give references?

Anyway, in case it is true, help her get out of this place now, call the police and see from there what to do (really, if she is being abused, police WILL do something)

If she is such an awful position can you not put a roof over her head for a short while? This is also in my au pair bible 'if one of your friends is in danger never ever leave them, come to me or if it is 2am bring them home and we will sort it out in the morning'.
I have put a roof over a girl's head once it was only for three days. I always act as would hope someone would to my own daughter.

@Marie, don't make assumptions and accusations if you don't know half of it. Have asked her several times is she wants to come over, even offered to pay for a hotel if she doesn't feel comfortable in my house, but she refused. Said she only wants to leave when she's sure she has another position.

The police thing - really not my choice to make, as much as I think she should.

I've tried to help her out as much as I can, asked her to come to our house, even to my mother's house, offered to drive 2 hours to come and get her, offered to go with the to the police, offered to pay for a flight home, but she refuses, and I can't really force her to.

I agree with going to the police over this. And I also think a family would be ill-advised to take this girl on after her traumatic experiences if it isn't reported to the police and proper counselling takes place and the person responsible for this abuse is brought to justice.

Would it be possible for you to visit her, Simmy12, when the host parents are there.

You could arrive under the pretext of taking her out for tea, or something. Have her introduce you as a friend of her mother and, when she leaves the room to collect her jacket, make a big performance telling them that the girls's mother has been on the phone asking you to keep a friendly eye on her, because the mum has a feeling that her daughter isn't very happy.

I know for sure that this isn't the answer ... that she should call the police, report and go home ... but in the absence of her doing that, your intervention could buy her enough unmolested time to find another job.

I would inform the police as I would be concerned that if he is abusing a young adult then there is potential he is or may abuse his children and all may Will be well but would rather it's investigated.

Also I would be wary is it the truth or has she been under performing told off/ given x weeks to leave but told her friend this instead - unlikely but possible.

Think it's really kind of you to help but actually not reporting a crime that has been committed isn't helping her, the family or the community someone's else will soon become his victim n perhaps she isn't his first

I just can't believe anyone would willingly stay in a house where they were being sexually assaulted and when they had been offered an escape route. Or several escape routes in this case.

She is here legally, I presume? No problems with her immigration status?

Update - she is here legally, she was just afraid.

Just wanted to let you know we got her out on Tuesday, I went there with my AP and convinced her to come with us. The family made a big scene - even dared to threaten her in front of me. She's better now, a bit more relaxed and calm, so she's probably going to say with us for a while, which I don't mind at all.

Great :)

I hope you can convince her to go to the police, ask her how she would feel if girl after girl goes through what she went through because none of them report him!!