Anyone with an au-pair - looking to share experiences and some tips?

[mishmash]

We have a German aupair - here almost 2 months and things are working pretty well but a little frustrating at times.

Just looking for any sounding boards out there

I don't have an direct experience of au pairs but we might be getting one, so I'm intereseted in hearing other people's feedback.

Mishmash, how many hours does your au pair work for you? Does she have written into her contract that she does any evening babysitting?

I'm nervous about getting into it, as my sister has had 3, one was brilliant and the other two were appalling.

I have an aupair currently & have been using aupairs for a while. Anything in particular you want to know MM or TF?

T-F I have had two Au pair and two nannies I have had just one bad situation with one Au Pair. In all situations, I have accepted that there will be things that irritate me and addressing things as they happen in a direct but fair-minded way usually resolves the situation, rather than letting it get to me.
However on the last occasion, I am so glad I trusted my instincts, from Second day she arrived I realized that Au pair was manipulative and dishonest. I was about to give her two weeks notice for continuing to smoke in my house, when I realized silly things were missing ect. I re-checked her reference, and spoke again to her previous employer, and realized this was a friend of hers who had originally lied on behave of Au Pair, over two weeks there many things.
I arranged her return flights home, then asked her leave.
I think in most cases I found differences can be resolved. If there is mutual respect and trust it?s always a good start. I have never expected to be great friends with nannies/Au pairs. But tried to establishing a good relationship, so we talk about any problem. I think when you have someone living in your home you get to know them very quickly.
If you look up some MN thread on interviews, and house rule?s and set out your expectations from the start, including language skills, free time and pocket money?.. Then start your search for Au pair!!

Our most successful Au pairs/nanny have always been available in the u.k for interviews. I would in future have a trial period. Generally when it works well, for me it?s a brillant help, and I feel organised, and have a life!!

Good Luck

Hi I'm just 3 weeks into my first experience with an AP and so far so good. I had a big response from the gumtree ad I put in and was able to meet my Ap before I said yes. There are definite pros with the situation the childcare is more flexible and much cheaper and the boys seem to like being in their own home. A few things I have done which has worked so far is install broadband with a headset and web cam (or skipe) which has meant she can chat to her hearts delight for free. I also do a roster for the following week clearly outlining the hours she will be needed (given in an enveolpe with pocket money so that it doesn't get ignored!).I have also put a list of the household tasks to be done during the week below the roster. This sounds all very formal but the list of duties is very short and very light! Eg change the boys sheets once a week and vacuum hall and boys bedrooms twice a week.
I tend to treat her as a helpful elder daughter which may not be your method of choice but the girl I have is a very sweet gentle 19 yr old.
The boys have been bit of a pain with her to start with but have now calmed down and things are going well.

I'm thinking that we may move from a daily nanny to an au pair next year as both children will be in school for most of the day - What can I expect an au pair to be able to cope with in the 25 alloted working hours? Is picking the children up from school, giving them a snack and playing them for a couple of hours twice a week, and some light cleaning ok? Is it ok for an au pair to be left sole charge of an almost 4 year old and a 6yr old for a few hours? What about for a full day (school hols or inset days) - am expecting to use grandparents and holiday clubs a lot.
At the moment I can't decide whether to keep bankrupting myself with a nanny or to take the plunge!