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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Leaving a 5 year old and 14 year old with a 17 year old

15 replies

Mariposa97 · 24/09/2014 01:53

My partner has recently gone abroad indefinitely due to a family emergency. Through Skype I know he is really struggling and would benefit from a week or so of me being there to take shifts (his dad is in a hospital in an underdeveloped country where there are no nurses so he has to be there 23 hours a day).

The problem is we have a six year old, fourteen year old, seventeen year old and nineteen year old living at home. My 17yo regularly looks after the 6yo and 14yo and is brilliant at it. She takes care of the whole night time routine everyday - from making tea to putting them to bed. She's extremely mature and could probably raise her own family. My 19yo on the other hand isn't great at babysitting and I wouldn't consider leaving her in charge - well not without the 17yo to be there for back up.

I friend could organise travel to and from school for the 6 yo; and the 14 yo and 17 yo attend the same school/sixth form so during the day would be normal. The main difference being at half three until half seven when they get home from school I wouldn't be there and the 17yo would be in charge.

My worry is coming back to find them in care. I have a 20yo that could be at the house in 20 minutes if needed and family and neighbors meaning in an emergency someone could be there in five minutes.

It probably should be noted that the 14yo is autistic - not extremely autistic but he is slightly harder to manage however nobody can handle him as well as my 17yo. (for want of a better word than handle)

Would it be feasible for me to do this? For the record - I fully trust that my 17yo is mature enough and she has looked after both the 6yo and 14yo many times before - she is extremely mature!

OP posts:
Mariposa97 · 24/09/2014 01:55

*it would be from half three in the afternoon until half seven the next morning

OP posts:
Lally112 · 24/09/2014 02:05

is this just for one week? if you think she can handle it then do it, theres nothing illegal about it. My babysitter is 14 and though I haven't left her for a week, shes been left overnight before and I trust her.

FlorenceMattell · 24/09/2014 08:50

The law says that an under 18 year old can not be legally responsible. Do you have any friends or relatives who could stay that week to be the legal adult?

nannynick · 24/09/2014 09:50

Could the 20yo move in? Then they are the responsible adult in the event of anything going wrong.

LikeTheShoes · 24/09/2014 10:22

do you have a neighbour who you could tell what was going on so if there was an emergency (obviously less than a 999 one) they could check with them.

steppemum · 24/09/2014 10:27

really florence?

What about a sixteen year old who is married with a baby?

steppemum · 24/09/2014 10:28

If florence is correct, then you need your 19 yo to be 'officially' in charge, even if your 17 yo is actually doing the caring

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/09/2014 10:41

I don't think it is fair for your 17yr to be in charge over night for her siblings esp as your 14 has autism and 6yr may play about. Very diff being in chath for 2/3hrs

Bein out of the country you need an older reliable person to look after them and be there at all times as she is under 18

Hope partner dad is ok

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/09/2014 10:45

lally i also wouldn't leave a 14yr overnight in charge of children - she is not an adult and not responsible enough incase of emergancy

FlorenceMattell · 24/09/2014 14:45

Sorry got this wrong
Police and NSPCC say this:
"The law also does not state at what age a young person can babysit. However where a babysitter is under the age of 16 years, parents remain legally responsible to ensure that the child comes to no harm".

So legally 17 year old would be fine. But I think as 14 year old has special needs you would be better having an adult eg over 18 staying too.

You could be prosecuted for neglect if an accident occurred as it could be said that you failed to take adequate measures to protect the children by leaving with a 17 years old, who didn't have the majority to deal with the situation. See child safeguarding.

When a child under 18 has their own baby/child I believe this would be looked at differently to caring for other children be they related.

Lally should an accident occur when your 14 year old babysits. Either to her or your children, you could be prosecuted.

I also wonder how it affects home insurance when children under 18 are left alone overnight? No idea.

FlorenceMattell · 24/09/2014 14:47

Maturity sorry

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 24/09/2014 14:49

An under 18 year old can't be legally responsible? What about if it's his/her own child?

I'm sure they'd all be fine for such a short time - particularly as they have plenty of back up available if things do go pear shaped.

FlorenceMattell · 24/09/2014 15:04

www.childrenslegalcentre.com/userfiles/Home%20Alone.pdf

This is a useful link.

Parietal · 24/09/2014 15:14

I think a week is a long time for your 17yo, and also not very fair on her if there are older siblings around who aren't having to do so much work or take on the responsibility.

If the 20yr old or another relative could stay in the house and help, at least for a few days, that would give the 17yo a break. And the 19yo should buck up a bit and be able to do something helpful, even if not childcare.

Cullercoats88 · 25/09/2014 11:16

I would arrange support for your 17yr old, mostly so she doesn't feel like she has to do everything- despite it being in her nature, a week is a lot!
So how about the 20yr old moves in and you have your neighbours on watch? X

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