DD hates the new nanny!

[Ifyoubuildit]

I'm due to start back at work on Monday after a 6 year career break. Our nanny started on Thurs and DD (2.5) hates her. She won't be left on her own with her and cries if I leave the room. The nanny hasn't been very good (IMO) at playing with her or encouraging her, she seems very negative all the time. I don't know what to do, it's breaking my heart seeing my vivacious, happy little girl so miserable.

Give her a chance. Of course your Dd is not going to accept her straight away. She's always been with you so after a couple of days, the nanny is just a stranger. She will be ok in a few days

Two year olds don't hate people! They do get anxious about change, and take a while to get used to it. They also pick up on Mum's anxiety/ambivalence, and may even be a bit manipulative, knowing how to tug the parent's heartstrings. I expect she will be fine with Nanny, once you leave them both to get on with it.

see how it goes after 3/4 weeks of being at work. things are very different when parents aren't around and sometimes the nanny can find it difficult to know who's in charge/how to placate when mum is around. If she's still not settled once you've had a few weeks at work fine, some nanny's just don't fit some family's and vise versa but give her a chance. After six years off I should imagine there's some change and nerves In the air even if you don't realise it yourself. good luck !

At 2.5 they are definitely not a baby so very aware of who they do and don't know. If she's had you around for so long it's going to be hard for her to accept someone else coming into to look after her. As someone said not everyone is a perfect fit. I was in a job for a month a child similar age and think we accepted that it wasn't going well and it was in fact not a great match and parted ways. I would say give it a few weeks of it just being them and revisit the situation again

One of my first nanny positions the 18 month old would cry and scream as she saw her mother getting home for work. After a couple of weeks the mum was staying longer and longer in the morning and the little one was crying more and more. It was stressful for everyone. But when the mother eventually left the little girl was fine she laughed and we had plenty of fun. So after a month when of this I asked the mother to say a quick bye and then stand outside door and listen. So mother left after fifteen minutes and the little girl didn't even finish her wail before stopping and laughing and talking with me. The mother couldn't believe it and it was then much easier for mother to leave and after a few weeks more the child didn't cry. I think you need to give nanny a chance at two your child will pick up on any reluctance you have.

She doesn't hate the nanny. She prob hates the fact you are going to work

Obv she wants you and not the nanny. You need to give them space and see what happens once you are at work

Many children cry for their parents then once out of sight also out of mind and all smiles 5mins later

Agree your daughter is probably just feeling confused and sensing you are going back to work.
Most toddlers will want their mum if she is around.
The nanny might not be able to relax with upset toddler and anxious mum around; so you might not be seeing her at her best either.
Can you expand on the negativity bit? So we can help advice if this normal.
But I would ask the nanny to send you some photos tomorrow.