CM CLUB: HELP NEEDED QUICK!

[StrawberryMoon]

got soon to be mindee for day (dry run)..she wont eat lunch..told dd (always done same) she/they dont get home made ice lolly if the dont eat lunch..dd ate hers..soon to be mindee hasnt???????
what to do????

Follow through with your rule
HTH

so dont give STBmindee one???

Yeah thats what I would and have done before. I also have a rule that unless a decent amount of lunch/dinner is eaten then there will be no afters. Have had to not give mindee things and my own ds while the others have them IYKWIM. My motto is dont say a rule to children if you are not willing to follow it through

yeah thats what i thought but feel awful

dd's got hers and STBmindee has had a little paddy, but seems ok?..but keeps asking still

I agree, be firm.
Eat majority of lunch/dinner/tea or no pudd/cake etc is the rule here and once you give in they will never let you forget it.
Consistancy is the key and I am sure new mindee won't want to sit and watch others eating pudd very often so will soon learn.

If she keeps asking just reiterate the rule 'eat lunch or not pudd'.

hi and thanks..i keep saying yes you can have one if you eat lunch next time and next time will make less a s she may not have as big an appetite as dd, so i dont want to leave her out if the poor childs full up!

well done for sticking to your guns - just to make you feel better, what would the children have gained by you going back on your word?

they would have learnt that you don't mean what you say, rules are flexible and they can paddy and get what they want.

this way you have taught them that you do mean what you say, they cant get what they want all the time, rules are rules, you have shown mindee exactly what it means.

you did the right thing, you start as you mean to go on or you will end up giving in most of the time because they will go on and on because you gave in before.

Did you offer soon to be mindee an alternative... like a bit of fruit?
My son is a real fussy eater and if he doesn't want to eat something no amount of bribes etc will work. He goes to nursery once a week and half the time has nothing all day.
As a parent I would rather he had a lolly than nothing... although fruit better!
Not critising you. Just think it may be best to check with mum what mindee likes and what her rules with Him/her are.
Even if mindee likes what you gave s/he may be put off by the different presentation.
I was a nursery nurse before having children and I would often enforce that rule of no pud. However now ds is how he is I would never again iyswim.

hi everyone and thanks.

STBM (for short) threw a tantrum for about 5 seconds then stopped!
my dd knows that if i said no empty plate, no lolly that i mean it and didnt want to show her one rule for one and all that!
she did keep half heartedly asking for one, but i said we would 'make' some more and so long as she tries really hard to eat her meal tomorrow(i am having her for few hours a day unpaid to help heer mum out while waiting for my crb to come back as i couldnt affford to loose a prospective full timer!)she can have one, she agreed(though she is only 3 this thursday and prob doesnt understand the deal i made with her..bless!)
felt really bad tho, told her mum what happend and ive told her i will put less on plate and present it differently to see what happens!..wish me luck!

awwww i think you're trying very hard, i still stick with what i said before, she is very young and will learn quickly as long as you're consistant and calm. good luck!!

btw i think you should get a deposit for the first week (at least) off this lady otherwise whats to stop her taking the child elsewhere without paying you a bean - yes i know she will be a ft'er so thats worth it and you cant charge until your crb is through anyway but i think you can take a deposit for the first week cant you? (someone more exp should come along and fill us in on that bit)

she has paid a deposit..i at least thought of that..but thanks for the heads up

and thanks for the encouragement!

good for you, thats all good then. i wouldnt worry about mindee she will soon come round to your rules. i know when they first start you want to make them feel welcome and settled but you have to keep your head and stick with it.

yeah, when we dropped off picked up dd today we always pass newsagents and i was soooo tempted to say, shall we get a nice treat/drink/bar of choc for later..then i realsied..she's not my dd, i shouldnt be buying her stuff like this and i have to start as i mean to go ie: not having her throw a paddy every consecutive time we pass that shop if i dont buy her something the nest time!

she also did a big wee on the playroom carpet and is supposed to be toilet trained?..maybe change of scenery/stress??but she didnt seem phased by anything??

hows it going for you then?

hi, make sure you take her to the loo every so often then hopefully if she does wee where she shouldnt it will only be a tiny bit, i tend to take my mindee when we egt back from school/ or when we arrive at toddler group, before snack (as he needs to wash his hands before snack so might as well go to the loo at the smae time) same with lunch and then before we do the school run. he can always tell me if he needs the loo as well and of course i take him then too

as for how im doing, its not going great if im honest, ive got 1 ft mindee at the mo (who could leave before xmas) and i was meant to be having another start next week but its been delayed so as i cant afford to live on 1 mindee's money i have had to go back to working weekends until things improve. we tried to get a loan because my car is broken and we are sinking into debt but the bank said no so we just have to survive until things improve. fingers crossed things take a turn for the better soon!