What do nannies want?

[onetwoflea]

Hi, my nanny has just handed in her notice, and I'd like some advice and reassurance so the next one is more successful!!
We thought we had done everything to make life easier for her, she brought her own child with her, and the reason she is leaving is that her child hasn't settled well sharing our house and our toys with our children...we provided all the meals pre-cooked for her to heat up, paid her the wage of our previous nanny (who only left due to moving out of the area) even though she wasn't as well qualified, reinforced with our children that the nanny made the rules.... SO how do we make sure the next one is happy and stays? What are your top tips for a happy childminder and your top gripes? Do any of you bring your children too?

My employers treat me well; say thank you and recognise my hard work, if they're running late they let me know before or by the time they should be leaving the office, we work as part of the team they back me up, respect my decisions and choices and I do the same with them. Although they work from home they leave me to it when they're around and if they pop in ask if it's okay or what we're up to so they don't distract/disturb us/the routine. I think they're fab.

thats great thank you

I cannot see what else you could have done she had an easy life meals already prepared, taking own child to work without a reduced salary - there has to be another reason she has left.v

Agreed, I think all I want from parents is being on the same page. If either has an issue they can easily address it (not in front of children).

She said it was because of the children not settling and having too much work balancing this job with her child and having enough time for herself and her housework. That is totally fair enough, I also think her lack of experience childminding made it more stressful for her. I just wanted some top tips! My children are not angelic when they are third after school, i'm sure looking after other peoples children gets stressful, I just need a long term solution so I can work!!

tired after school not third!!!

Why did you prepare meals? Didn't you trust her?

Also if your children misbehave - don't excuse it as tiredness. Yes that might be a factor but not excuse really.

Honestly?? It sounds like she wasn't suited to being a NWOC and possibly decided she didn't actually want to work/do childcare at all. Not your fault. NWOC can be tricky to make work from what I have read, I think it requires a nanny who is really keen to keep working and will make a real effort to ensure her child fits in. So... either find one of those... or pick a nanny without children!

Tbh she just doesn't sound up to the job. I think next time you need to ask specifically about ability to manage several children. Maybe look for someone who has experience of looking after several children of different ages.

We prepared meals because we thought it would be one less thing to worry about when she was looking after the children. No, I'm aware the children are sometimes naughty, but no child I've ever taught or met has been constantly good, so mine are mainly good but with age appropriate naughtiness and most people compliment them on their behaviour. I'm sure you're right about being firmer with quals / experience. We were struggling to find someone who would do the hours we wanted so thought we needed to fit as much as possible around whoever was available, but obviously that's not a recipe for long term happiness on either side!!

Long term happiness takes effort on both sides. It looks like things were not working from her side, her child did not like the arrangement.

It may work for another NWOC or you may feel it might suit someone without their own child. The job has to be viable for someone to do, if you were struggling to find someone then maybe the job is not what most people are looking for - is it quite low hours? More hours some weeks and not others?

What works - communication. Raise little issues quickly, so they get resolved, not fester and become a long term annoyance.

thanks, yes the job is low hours, but I pay half my daily wage in childcare for half the hours I do, ( i work 8 hours a day, childminder works 4 but takes half my wage :( ) so I struggle to justify any more time. I do the job I do because it gets my foot back on the career ladder. I'm glad she's come early to tell me she's not happy so I can find someone who the job suits, will take all tips thanks.
Thanks for the messages, going off line now.

If money is tight and you only need after school care (is this right?) then what about an actual childminder ie someone who collects your DC and looks after them in her house? just a thought, would def be cheaper and might be easier to find someone who wants those hours.

its a small gripe but you keep calling the nanny a childminder, she isnt one, they are two different jobs and maybe depending on the hours you need an actual childminder would be better

whats days/hours do you need? assuming an after school nanny?

and what makes a nanny happy/what they want - is a nice family who pays them on time, doesnt come home late all the time and trusts them to get on with their job, ie not micro managed :)

which to be fair sounds like you do, think you were unlucky, you chose someone who has worked taking their child to work before and discuss everything

how long was nanny there?

I agree with Blondes on the childminder/nanny issue. The fact that you don't know that they're two separate jobs.....and don't seem to know whether you had a nanny or a childminder was probably quite annoying for your nanny!

It sounds like you need a childminder, rather than a nanny.

Were you employing her and paying her tax/NI etc? Or were you expecting her to do that herself?

In terms of what I want as a nanny; regular hours, full days, good pay, a thank-you at the end of the day and the ability to make decisions about what we do/where we go/how I deal with things.

she was a home help, unqualified apart from some previous work looking after peoples children
, but she wanted to be known as a nanny or childminder rather than a home help.

A nanny and a childminder are two different jobs! They both work in childcare, but they're not interchangeable terms.

Does sound like she wasn't suited and like blonds I get very annoyed when I am refered to as a childminder or even by one mum as a babysitter.

So many of the jobs are solit up now between nanny, childminder, granny and even nursery. This must be hell for children who on the whole like consistency in their care and must wonder whether they are coming or going.

Maybe a good childminder would be best for you.

tbh sounds likes she thought looking after children would be easy and could be in a job with 'free childcare' for her own , without actually having any real experience of being a nanny

as a professional nanny certainly would not want to be called a childminder, and any nanny worth her salt would know the diff between a nanny and a cm - the main main diff are 1/) nanny works in your house and is employed by yourself and will do what you ask 2) childminder works in her house and is self employed and does what she wants to

but im splitting hairs

i honestly wouldnt worry about finding/keeping someone else, providing that you actually employ someone who is actually a nanny rather someone with barely any exp iyswim

you have had a nanny before, how long did she stay for?

she stayed for 6 months, she was a qualified nanny (I do know the difference - the reason we wanted more flex than being looked after in childminder's house was that we wanted the kids to continue with after school clubs and the local childminders did the school run then went home) but left as her husband got a job in a different area. We knew they were considering this before we employed the nanny so wasn't an issue. I suppose we all just hoped the second lady would be able to do it. We obviously need someone with more experience next time.

I just want to a point out that it's not an insult to be called a childminder, they offer equally high levels of care, it's just annoying because they are two separate jobs. The pay, employment status, job role, expectations and parent/carer relationship is completely different.

It's particularly annoying when someone is asking for help...and it's impossible to ascertain whether they have a nanny or a childminder because they use the terms interchangeably. Additionally, an au pair is a third, separate type of care and 'nanny/au pair' is not a job!!

No outraged it's not an insult but very frustrating when you go for an interview and are asked if you will have the children in your house or they want you to do full time nanny work but pay babysitting rates.
I also get annoyed with people who use their Au pairs as nannies and exploit them. As a favor to my favorite agency of the time I helped one woman who was between Au pairs and she told me she made sure she got as much work as possible from the girls. No wonder she couldn't keep them