New childminder... not sure if I am over reacting?

[gottogetdressed]

DS started reception this week so have moved him and DD (nearly 2) from a private nursery (which both the kids loved and was amazing) to a childminder so they could be in same place (DS before and after school). she came recommended but a few days in I am really starting to fret if we have made a poor decision...

So there are a few (v minor) things which are adding up:

• picked up DD at lunchtime and she was still eating packed lunch. I'd put in a yoghurt but no spoon which she had with lid off. Said to her "dd, where's your spoon?" and CM says "oh there wasnt one in her box". only when I then asked if she could borrow one did CM get one for her.
• today CM picked up DS from school and left DD and 2 other under 3's in car for 5-10 mins whilst doing so (DS report verified by friend and also CM when asked)
• despite arrangement for CM to do pick up of DS each day, she now cant do one day. she asked if a friend could drop DS at hers that day instead, and I said fine for occasional/emergency but didnt feel appropriate to ask for permanent basis. text that evening from cm asking if friend could do the pick up every week. um.... no?!
• 2 visits to same soft play in 3 days for whole morning. its nice outside!

Add to this another friend of a friend rang me (unsolicited) to tell me a few horror stories (which I think are blown out of proportion so not going to elaborate as goodness knows how many Chinese whispers there are!)

Feeling v worried and nervous. am I totally over reacting?

thoughts appreciated!!

ooh that was long... sorry!

Who recommended her?

This small things are minor but yes would bother me.

As soon as that seed of doubt is there the trust starts to decline.

What are your other options?

A friend whose daughter has been there for couple of years.

looking into hodgepodge of options such as moving dd back to nursery, changing work days/hours and other CM who I know well but can only take ds (currently).

Definitely some things to follow up, but hot days are the best days to go to soft play and rainy days are the best days to go to the park.

Sounds like she didn't really think through practicalities of the school run.

I'd go back to the nursery and use the other cm.

Move DD back to the nursery that you love, and use your other CM for DS. Just do it. Yes.

Leaving children in the car is not minor. That would really concern me.

Do you have other options? The not being able to pickup all days is not great given that was initially agreed.

thank you all! ia what my heart is telling me to do. just wanted a good sensible mn approval I wasn't over reacting!!!

I am a childminder, and we are not allowed to leave children in the car on their own even for a short period of time. That alone would make me remove the children from her care.

Agree that leaving dc in the car is not minor.
Apart from the fact she did that, I would now be worried about her judgement in all other situations - you don't know what she's doing / where she'll be each day and need to trust her judgement implicitly, but with this decision, she's clearly shown really poor judgement. So, even if you could get a promise she won't leave them in the car again at school pick up time, then I'd still be concerned about her judgement for every other situation.

The yoghurt - could be explained away with her peeling the lid as you rang the bell and had been about to get the spoon, I wouldn't be worried about that (although don't understand why you are sending her lunch... all my CMs have always fed the dc at lunchtime.
I wouldn't be happy with the softplay either.

The other person collecting ds is not right, so early into a contract where she's agreed to do this... maybe 2 yrs down the line if he wanted to stay to a club or practice she could ask the question, but not at this stage.

But the main concern would be the lack of judgement she showed and therefore the worry over that going forward. It would be a dealbreaker for me if there were other options.

Agree leaving children in the car is not acceptable.

Will be on phone first thing to nursery and other CM to find alternatives. def not sending them back there. will work out something!

I would be very unhappy too; enough to change the arrangement I think. Sorry you are going through this stress. The car thing is unacceptable.

I would remove the children and report to Ofsted if the leaving of the children in the car can be verified.

Spoon incident: could be a reasonable explanation. I'd write that one off.

Softplay: not ideal... Would monitor that, but let it go for now.

Pickup by a friend: Not good practice - is her friend registered? I wouldn't be happy as a regular arrangement. Only once have I entered a similar arrangement but that was agreed from the start and was an arrangement made by the parents, not by me.

Leaving kids in the car:
This is most definitely not a little thing and I'm shocked that, after all the training and publicity over the years, a childminder still thinks it's acceptable to do this.

So no, I don't think you're overreacting.

No you aren't over reacting.

There are a lot of things I didn't like reading in your OP. Leaving children in car NO! Someone else doing pick up, NO!

Spoon, out of order if she expected her to use her fingers, but could be that your arrival interrupted her getting spoon.

Visits to soft play, unfortunate with weather, but at least they are having fun in a safe, contained environment.

Sounds to me like a general lack of excitement for the job, and can't be arsed attitude. I would have stern words, and go elsewhere. If she isn't putting effort in now, chances are it will get worse!

Ofsted hotlink to who does not have to Register as a Childminder

www.ofsted.gov.uk/resources/factsheet-childcare-registration-not-required

There is NO WAY I would have children for more than 2 hours a day, for any reward, without proper Registration and Insurance and Records. Anyone who does, has no idea what will happen IF there is an accident. Ofsted are ruthless - just see the Nursery cases where a "genuine accident" occurred for example the child on a scooter fell off, and his tooth went trough his lip - it bled lots so off to Hospital he went ... all hell broke lose when Ofsted arrived to Inspect NO PERMISSION they have ENTRY RIGHTS iro of Childcare.

It sounds like this nice lady in the Village, is genuine, but heck 7 or 8 kidz, on her own :( I have had 7 and 8 but with my Assistant and its darned hard work and takes an awful lots of "Care & Management" especially walking to and from school and "making sure they are SAFE" in your home.

Ofsted Inspections, at least give you, as Parents a Professional Opine !

The yogurt issue wouldn't bother me as she could have been waiting until your dd finished everything else before getting her a spoon, or could have been just about to get one when you arrived. The softplay wouldn't bother me either. The other two issues would.

There are nurseries that also offer before/after school care too if you were really keen on keeping them together. Otherwise you could still hunt around for a different child minder.

How did she take it op ?

So... I made the call today. I have to say I chickened out a bit re reasons (said it was due to issues re pick ups etc and not ok for us. hinted at car thing but wasn't explicit) as its quite a small community here and all the CMs know each other and she knows a lot of people I do. She took it ok. a little surprised perhaps when I said kids wouldn't be coming next week at all and had already sorted dd to go back to nursery.

still hatching plans with other CMs to cope with DS but hopefully my favourite one (who knew ds when he was v small and at another cm - who gave up a couple of years ago) will be able to take him. should work it all out next week!

she was telling me that 4 cms who did do/pu for my school have quit in last year as ofsted paperwork has driven them away. how sad

am enjoying v large glass of wine after this horrible week. thank you for all your comments!

agree yog incident prob didnt mean much, if she was eating her sandwichs then i would have given a spoon when finished

soft play, again fab to go when hot and sunny and packed when raining

car, no way should she leave them alone in the car and you should report this

glad you have moved from cm, surprised you didnt have to give notice, tho the car incident would prob forfeit that iyswim