Nanny or nursery

[TerrifiedMothertobe]

I'm about to return to work after ds2.

We have recently moved ds1 to a new nursery as we weren't happy with his old nursery. Ds2 has recently started.

Both seem happy and it's a great nursery. Although quite inconvenient location wise for us.

However, we have now been offered a great nanny at a good rate. I feel like i would be mad to turn it down. We know her well as she looked after ds1 at his old nursery but wants to move on.

I feel like we should jump at the chance, and don't want to loose her or mess her about, but am slightly hesitating as we have just resettled ds1.

Am I mad?! Surely it's the best fit as both of us work full time!?

Whether you use a nursery or a nanny depends on a few factors...

What do you want your child to be doing whilst your at work? Do you want them to go to the park, play centres, going for walks and having one to one attention? If this is what you want then a nanny would be best.

If you want your child to mix with children their own age, do things in groups, have a timed routine, then a nursery is the best.

However nurseries spend alot of time indoors, can often be short staffed, the food is smart price crap, and there is often bitching and negativity amongst staff.

I ve worked in a fair few nurseries and if i had the choice between a nanny and a nursery, i would pick the nanny.

Our eldest will go to the village preschool from January if we had the nanny, for his 15 free hours. So he'd get a good mix.

Food is a major point but also being in the home environment. They are so little to be in a nursery from 8-6 every day.

I'm considering going for a nanny when I go back to work with dd 2 as it'll be as cheap and will be onto the 15 hours then for older child too. I also will struggle with drop offs etc as my work has moved. I'll be interested to hear views on this thread.

My dd1 goes to a nice nursery and is out all day. She loves it. I am hesitant about nannies as the few I know at toddler group are a bit cold, chatting , ignoring kids . I am aware that I am also chatting and ignoring my child but I'm not being paid to do it and feel a bit guilty. Double standard?

My only reservations on your part would be if this was a first time nanny job for a nursery worker . I think that's quite a jump and a very different job.

Also my nursery you send in all the meals. It's a chore but no smart price crap.

I tried nanny but found my son was not very well looked after, went for nursery, he was very happy. My view is that if the nanny is horrible no one knows, at nursary you have more than one person looking in. My son is very sociable, makes friends easily at home and on holiday. I think this due to learning how to share and play at nursery. It took longer to potty train though, I did quicker with my daughter who was at home with Nanny and Granny helping. Although very clever she does not make friends as easily as DS.

Have you calculated all of the extra costs of a nanny? I'd guess - food, entertainment, bus fares or mileage, heating on all day. But there are probably other things too.

If you can afford the nanny and a some nursery hours, that's what I'd go for and what we have in fact gone for over the years.

I think it's nice that my children can go home after school/nursery rather than having to be at nursery (the youngest) for the whole 35+ hrs I work.

Otoh, nannies can fall ill - do you have a Plan B for DS1?
Nursery is always available.

You need to trust your nanny who will of course be alone with your DS.
In a nursery there are always more than one member of staff about.

IME hiring a nanny is very much a gut-based decision and the mix of having care in our home AND nursery/school has worked perfectly for us.

Will you have some mat leave, I presume?

We always had nannies because when DD1 was a baby I was too PFB to look at anything else.

We had two main nannies, one for 4 years and another for 3. However, there was a hellish year in between the two where we had a number of nannies stay for a short time and leave with no notice.

However, if your child is ill, a nanny will still care for them, whereas with a nursery, you need to find emergency childcare.

Our two long term nannies had both worked as nannies and nursery workers before, and we were once advised that an ex-nursery worker can work very well as a nanny, because they have had lots of experience of doing various crafts and activities with the children. They just need to find the local nanny network, and your DC will have lots of opportunities for social events.

DS is still friends with a boy he used to have playdates with from about the age of 18mo.

As a nanny who has been with one family quite long term (currently 6 years) I am biased with regard to nanny vs nursery.

So I won't offer an opinion on nanny vs nursery as to which is better, instead I will give you some things to think about.

we have now been offered a great nanny at a good rate.
We know her well as she looked after ds1 at his old nursery but wants to move on.

So this great nanny has previously worked in the old nursery you were not happy with? How do you know they are a great nanny? Have they actually been a nanny before?

Every nanny has to start somewhere and many do go from nursery to nannying. There can be issues, for example nannying can be very lonely where as in nursery you work with a team of other people. Some people adapt well, others miss having other adults to talk with. Do you know this person well enough to know if they would be ok in a fairly lonely job?

Good rate - how much? How many hours per week would they be working? What area - how does it compare to other nanny jobs in your area (use NannyJob Job Search and use advanced search to narrow down to your geographic area).

You need to work out all your costs, it is not just the nannies salary there are many additions. In the past I have done various calculations of what the total cost of a nanny may be and some people agree with my figures, others feel they are too high. You need to start somewhere though, so do you have a feel for how much it will cost to employ a nanny? Here is a calculation from 2011 (your nanny may not cost this much, a large amount does depend on the salary and working hours). It will give you an idea of costs to think about... such as what are weekly expenses likely to be?

There can be many advantages to having a nanny - no need to wake the children up in the morning, get them dressed and to nursery is just one. The hours a nanny will work is another, very handy if you need an earlier start/later finish that nursery offers. Nanny will care for a mildly ill child, so no more having to pick up baby from nursery due to a few runny nappies. Nanny may do domestic tasks such as children's clothes and bedding washing.
There are also disadvantages, such as if nanny is ill, you have to take time off work. You have to co-ordinate your holiday with nannies holiday.

Thanks lots for great points..

We have worked out all the costs and she will come in at roughly the same including tax, NI, paying for her car ins, food and heating.

We moved nursery as it was when ds1 moved from her room. She rams hers shipshape.

I'm definitely worried about her being lonely and have discussed this a lot with her. I expect her to participate in lots of groups, not just for the children, but for her sanity. She already has some nanny friends and I have a good network of friends tht stay at home who I hope will support her a bit.

As for sickness we reckon one nanny is likely to be ill less frequently than two small children. The current nursery refuses illness at the drop of a hat and we have no family to help so one of us has to aka time off. Which ska nightmare as both have b demanding jobs.

It will be for 2 years until ds1 goes to school and then ds2 will go to the preschool and after school club.

It's so confusing - we have too and frowed for ages . I'm still not sure it's right, but then neither is nursery for 45 hours a week.

Nothing is perfect. and no, me staying at home is not the answer. I'm not made that way.

My mat leave finishes next week so we shall soon see how nursery with two works.

Good to hear you have thought this through. Sounds as though it is worth a try. It could work out well for you and for the nanny.

I'm only 20 but had a nanny for both me and my sister still see them now and we loved having them we also went to montisorie twice a week for a morning and afternoon xx

The crap nursery food is a generalisation. My dc nursery serves excellent good quality food cooked from scratch on site by different staff members. One of the nursery staff cooks traditional Portuguese food and I am always very jealous of my dc lunch when she cooks.

How do you know its quality ingredients?

Have you ever seen the food packaging?

Have you ever done the nursery food shop?

Nurseries will tell you anything to fill the place.

Most nurseries dont have a qualified cook. The cook is someone who can cook basic things.

I have first hand experience in this field, in a fair number of different nurseries

Yes I have seen the food order , they order online from asda. The nursery are very open about things. It is a very small nursery only 15- 20 children at one time.

Looking into it in much more detail it seems a minefield of risk. What if the nanny gets sick, accident, do we need employers liability insurance?

The list seems to go on and on

The rules on recouping statutory sick pay have changed recently so beware! The government will no longer pay you back the first £3.5k or so (can't remember exact amount).

Do you want her ofsted registered? If so, is her first aid certificate up to date ? What about qualifications? We paid for employers liability insurance. Didn't cost much.

Yes, you should have liability insurance - I'd not sleep well at night without tbh.

I found it a huge adjustment to become an employer (even though I am an employer at work ) to a nanny rather than having a self-employed childminder as we did previously.

3 years later I feel I have a handle on things

Tomorrow is Day 1 for our new nanny - wish her luck!

You'll be fine - there is no doubt it's learning process and it all seems v daunting, but the pros of having a nanny outweigh the scary bits IMO. If you get it right - that's the most difficult thing IMO and IME.

Thanks. Her car insurance seems really high for business use, she is only 21 and drives a mini. So I guess that's why....

Employer liability insurance may be part of your Home Contents policy - check with your home insurance provider.

Car insurance is not that much higher for business usage as Occupation: Nanny, Employers Business: Child Minding. However age is a big factor and engine size plus car value will make a difference.

Insurers I have had include: ERS, Allianz, QBE. She could try going via a broker who can shop around for suitable insurance if her current provider won't consider it.

See your other thread (nanny car insurance) for some wording that insurers use on the policy document. Some insurers may be thinking it is Hire&Reward thus high premium.

I would go nanny all the way.

Nurseries yes you get good ones but overall like for like a nanny is better. Children under 3 don't play with other kids and don't need socialising.

I think we have decided to go for it.

It's our of our comfort some but best for juggling us being at home and the boys will enjoy a few years at home before school- as long as it all works out. Just looking at contracts etc now and hope to have it wrapped up,this week ready for her to hand notice and us to notify nursery.

Fingers crossed.