What should I do?

[Justabtfunctioning]

Hi guys - I have a bit of a tricky dilemma come beginning of term and wondered what people would do in my position. Bear with me whilst I explain!

I have two kids (3 & 1), both currently go to nursery x3 days a week and my parents for one day (I work 4 days). Come Sept however, my eldest is going to go 12-1500 to a local nursery (attached to a school we're keen on long term - and it does help that they're in nursery to get them in for big school). The plan originally was that my mum would do the school drop offs / picks for my eldest from his private nursery (i.e. boy boys would be dropped of at usual private nursery, whilst my mum would pick up and drop back at private nursery for the local nursery times). Hopefully that makes sense.

Having really thought about it, it's probably unrealistic / unfair to expect my mum to do this for a whole academic year. So thinking of the following options (in no particular order):

1. hire a nanny 4 days a week (hugely expensive!) for both boys

1. hire a many for 4 days and keep the little one @ private nursery for a couple of days (as he really enjoys it and we do really like the idea of nursery for them)

1. I quit - which I'm nervous about because I like working / earning and I'm worried I'm not going to be a good sahm!

1. hire a nanny for 2 days and nursery for 2 days.....but this still means my mum will need to do the drop offs etc for those 2 days

Obviously the nanny & nursery route is silly money, so I'm not sure how realistic that will be financially long term. But I can't help but think this is only for one year.....should I just lump it.

And then I have the emotional issue of shouldn't I be at home with my kids whilst they're so needy and need me?? Although a 2nd income these days do help, even if it does cover off most of the childcare. Looking at the figures it might be better if I remain working, but it's a bit of a mare trying to get our head around the logistics of it all come Sept....and then when you factor in the childcare costs, it probably doesn't make sense.

What would you guys do?

Thanks in advance.......eagerly awaiting your feedback as I'm a bit stuck on what to do!!! :(

Why don't you swop the 3 days nursery to 3 days with a childminder who does drop-offs at the local nursery (& check she also does school runs where you intend to send the DC to save moving them again in a year's time). For 2 children a cm is still likely to be cheaper than nanny but probably comparable to nursery but at least they are together & saves your mum doing lots of runs which I agree would be too much.

Alternatively, can you not condense the private nursery hours so eldest is doing 2 longer days rather than 5 short sessions? 1 could be your mums day & the other your day off

What is your mum happy to do? Why not keep her doing 1 day per week?

So that leaves 3 days per week, where 12pm-3pm oldest goes to pre-school.
No detail as to hours of care needed... start time/finish time would be useful. For now will assume 8am-6pm.

Options I see are:
Nanny for 3 days per week.
Childminder for 3 days per week.

What happens outside of term time? Pre-school is typically term-time only.

Another option:
Both boys in Nursery 3 days per week.
1 day per week, both boys with Gran and oldest doing 12-3 at pre-school.
1 day per week, both boys with You and oldest doing 12-3 at pre-school.

Does pre-school (school nursery) insist on all 5 days 12-3? Are other session times available, are double sessions available such as 9-12+12-3?

Thanks guys. I will need 8-1800 childcare 4 days a week either way.

Unfortunately I cannot combine the free nursery so we are stuck with 12-1500 5 days a week, term time.

My parents could do one day a week. So technically I have a 3 day a week to cover with nursery/nanny/childminder. The latter two being the easiest I guess. I can't seem to find a childminder yet.

Can the other options really cover off what nurseries do? My concern is, are nanny/chilminders as stimulating/fun? But I've only known nursery and we're very happy with that, hence my keenness to keep that for my youngest at least.

You need to see Nannies/Childminders as being different to nursery. In nursery children may be confined to being in one room and an outdoor play space. Clearly it varies between nurseries. With a childminder or nanny, there is more opportunity to go out and about, so instead of looking at a book about castles, they may actually go to a real one.

Childminders and nannies will read to children, will do messy play (shaving foam, washing toys/dolls/bikes), jigsaws, counting games, numbers/colours, all sorts of things nursery would do but they may also do things that nursery would not do - take children swimming (some nurseries do have their own pool though).

The main issue I feel is that with a childminder or nanny you are reliant on one carer - if they are ill, then you need a backup (in your case, your mum). With nursery, you rely on the management to sort out staff, so if your child's keyworker is unwell, it is not a major issue.

What things do you like which happen at nursery?

I would leave everything as it is and not bother with school Nursery.

Going to a schools Nursery makes no difference whatsoever to appying for Reception Class. Really whatever anyone tells you it does not and a schooll local to me has just had its fingers rapped soundly by the Local Education Authority because they were found out to be giving preference to children who attended their Nursery. This year their Nursery has only 20 children as a result!

Another local Primary where I collected a child had 90 applicants for their Reception class this year and not all the 30 children from their Nursery, including the one I collected, got a place in Reception.

Application is firstly done on siblings and then distance from the school. Very simple, nothing else and definitely not anything to do with attending the Schools Nursery. Please don't believe all the rumors that usually abound and if you don't believe it then it would be best for you to check directly with the admissions dept of your local Education Authority

Just to clarify.

Childminders follow exactly the same curriculum for 0 to 5yr olds as all the Private Nurseries, Pre Schools and school nurseries do, The Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS). We are Registered and Regulated by Ofsted and they Inspect us. We have to offer a full range of activities and follow each individual child's interests in line with the Statutory Guidance of the EYFS so every childminder will be doing and offering the same as any Private Nursery or Nursery Class just on a smaller scale. All childminders can also offer the 15 hours free education for 2 to 5 year olds. They will usually complete written Learning Journals though some now do this electronically.

Nannies however do not follow EYFS nor can they offer the 15 hours free education nor are they Inspected or regulated by Ofsted.

Unfortunately private schools often insist on kindergarten attendance to guarantee a place if they are over-subscribed & very much dictate the hours/days your child needs to attend in order to 'qualify' for priority place in reception. But yes, LA schools legally cannot prioritise because of linked nursery school place.

I would do the three days with nanny and one with your parents. I wouldn't worry about the 1 year old not going to nursery - there's plenty of time for that and your nanny can either do classes with him or toddler groups.

3 year olds are different - all of mine at that age really benefitted spending time with other children their own ages. Pre-school can be a great learning environment both socially and academically.

Giving up your job when you enjoy it would be mad - your children would much rather have a happy working outside the home mother, than an unhappy stay at home one.

Thanks everyone. I've reached out to big nannies and childminders and will take it from there. I guess it depends on who I find the most comfortable with. If I can't find anyone then I could quit. But that's my last resort as I agree with Karoleann.
Let's hope I find a happy solution. Wish me luck!