Depressed nanny

[alltheworld]

My part-time live in nanny came to me via a friend. After I hired her several months ago, I found out she suffered from depression.
She has weekly counselling and is on medication.
However, recently she has become worse. Her room is covered in halfeaten food, empty soda bottles, crisp packets and the floor is kneedeep in stuff. ie. not just a few clothes - more like hoarding..
She cannot cope with anything. If a friend doesn't return a text, she cries.
I found out recently that she looked my 6 year old in the garden for being disobedient.
She is very sweet and willing, but I am worried about her self-care ability, her general mood.
I have tried to be supportive but I cannot see how I can lighten her load any more and I think she has fundamental issues. She has never really had a proper job before. I am paying to get her childcare qualifications, OFSTED registered etc. We had discussed that she would work for me for the coming year, and use the time she was not working to get relevant experience in a field she might be interested in eg. working in a school. She has no direction in life.
WWYD?

She locked your six year old in the garden?! For how long? She needs to go immediately.

She's ill so you need to be kind, but there is absolutely no way you can leave her with your children.

Id explain to her that her illness is impacting on her work and that she needs to go home, see her dr and recover before returning to the post. Id try to do this a compassionately as possible as it's not her fault she's come down with it, it's just the nature of the beast that people suffering are often the last to recognise they've been hit with it unlike flu for example where you're aware immediately of your symptoms,

Id then have to find a temp nanny or alternative until she could return... I imagine that could be very difficult though which sucks for both of you.

Missed the bit about locking in the garden... That needs to be dealt with. Ill or not, it's not acceptable to leave your child locked in the garden. Period.

Sack her and send her home. She's not in the right place to take on other peoples kids as a job.

I suffer from depression so I am pretty sensitive about it but I have to say. You need to let her go. As kindly as possible. Give her a good reference. Has she seen a doctor?

I feel sorry for her but wouldn't have had her round my kids since the garden incident.
She is ill and incapable of doing her job.
Do you know that the meds she is taking are suitable for the work she is doing?
Your kids should be your priority not the nanny.

This is very interesting. I read a similar thread on chat a while ago and the parent got absolutely SLATED for suggesting letting her go or even suggesting it was a problem!

It's a very difficult situation. Locking your child in the garden is totally unacceptable and it sounds like she's really not coping. If it were me, i wouldn't want her looking after my children. Does she have anywhere to go if you were to let her go?

You can't sack a person for being mentally ill - its illegal under the disability discrimination act. If you want to sack her for locking your son out of the house you need to check your facts (has she admitted it or are you going on your son's uncorborated version of events?) and do a proper disciplinary. If she is too ill to continue you can put her on sick leave, or long term carry out a capability procedure.

I suffer from depression and anxiety so feel empathy for your nanny but a person with a depressive illness is simply not fit to care for your child. It isn't fair to her and it certainly isn't fair to your child. Indeed you could be considered neglectful for leaving your child in the care of this nanny. Yes you can support her (and I hope you will) in whatever way you can but you will need to make other arrangements for childcare.

BarbarianMum I haven't read the Regs to the Disability Discrimination Act and I was glad to hear this covered mental health issues too, but there must be issues in the Regs to cover situations like this one. Out of interest I'll have a look - no legislation is as cut and dried as you are suggesting.

If she's been employed less than 2 years she can be let go without reason, so there is no need to make it about her depression.

Tapeworm the difference is probably in the 'similar'. Had the nanny in the other thread locked the child in the garden? That's the key piece of information here.

If the nanny was depressed but still capable of doing her job, then I would say you were being unreasonable if you wanted to let her go. But since its impacting her job ie shutting the 6yr old outside then I would let her go.

Thanks all, sorry have been offline while away.

My nanny wants to leave and given that she cannot cope with the basic requirements of the job then I guess that is for the best.

I feel sad because she is a lovely person, but she does have a lot of issues and she cannot handle anything remotely stressful and clearly cannot take care of herself.

The reactions to the shutting in the garden were interesting. I was wondering if I was overreacting when I told her this was unacceptable. I had a long talk with her about how to handle discipline etc but clearly she cannot take it in.