Nanny with a child

[Ifyoubuildit]

It's our first time employing a nanny and the one we really like has a young toddler. Our children are 5 and 2.5 and we're concerned about how she'll be able to make sure that they all get the attention they need and deserve (including her DC). Anyone got any experience or advice? Thanks.

Offer her a trial day to see how it works-I think that's the only way you're likely to get a feel for how things will be in practice.

Hi

I have just joined and saw your post.

I had a bad experience with a nanny and child. This doesn't mean you should as plenty of people have great experiences!

My advice would be to set the bo

Sorry hit enter too quick!

Set boundaries from the off I.e. Who supplies food, who dictates playgroups (or you could share) etc.

My nannying son was much older and I learned he was eating round here everyday (even though I had said occasionally) during the holidays they went where he wanted and to top it off she tools him for haircuts on my time even though she had a day off in the week.

I regret not being clearer from the start.

Good luck!

That's really helpful, thanks working. Her references are very good but I do worry that her DS will be the priority. If my DD runs across the road at the same time as her DS who is she instinctively going to grab?

She's young and full of energy but we also have an older lady we're considering who's more set in her ways but I think will provide more stability (but less fun).

It's my first time recruiting a nanny and I'm finding it so hard to decide! DH has basically left me to it, which isn't very helpful, he says it's my decision.

Any good nanny or childminder will be able to look after three children and make sure they all get the attention they need. Loads and loads of families have three children and they make it work. It's really not that hard.

In terms of employing a nwoc you need to be clear from the start as working says, but it can work really well. I'd have a chat with her and if you're happy with everything, ask her to do a trial day/few days. The trial will be harder than the actual job as she won't know the children/they won't know her, so if she makes that work then the job should be easy!

It can be much cheaper to have a nanny with their own child as the rate should be much lower due to care being shared.

However there are many downsides and you are correct that in an emergency she is bound to put her own child first as it's human instinct. Parents are not allowed to help in their child's class or trip for this very reason after training from the local county advises against it.

What happens if you want you children to do lots of activities, who will pay for her son to attend. Will she need extra equipment for him? Who will pay for his/her food, drinks etc? A young children won't understand mum has to give preference to her job and will want attention.

Only you can decide if the discount in salary is worth the downsides.

If you think about it, many childminders have 3 under 5s in the daytime and a few others before and after school. My childminder has 2 children of her own 1 under 5 and 1 at school, I don't feel she would show my son any less care for having her own children there if anything my son gets more attention and if they were to have a fight over a toy I feel she would take it off of them both or give it to whoever had it first not favour her son over mine.

Sorry long post. I am now trying to become a nanny and will be wanting to bring my son along, I think I will find families with a child around his age so there is no problem with activities/outings etc or older children my son has been around older children from the start and he is very mature, self efficient and not clingy in the slightest and never has a problem with me playing with other kids (i come from a very big family) he will happily go off and play by himself.

I would be concerned about things mentioned above, and what she will do if her child (or yours) is ill.

I'm a nanny with a child and I find some of the points made here a little frustrating. It isn't difficult for someone with childcare experience to look after 3 children and you will probably find, after the initial settling in period, that the children all get along very well and it is enriching for all of them.

The children I look after are older than my child and we only go to activities which are appropriate for the children who I am paid to look after. If my child is required to pay to be there then I would of course pay that. I would always prioritise them in this way and do activities more suitable for my child in the days when I'm not at work. The only thing I am really unable to do with them is go to the cinema or swimming without help, but we do go as we have another adult who can come with us.

Emergencies such as 'both children running out into a road', is really very unlikely to happen. In areas where this would be possible, the nanny would have thought ahead and put one or both younger children into a buggy or similar. Many teachers are able to teach their own child in a class of 30, without the education of 29 other children suffering; or run a cubs/brownie group containing their own child without showing favouritism.

My child hasn't been ill in the time I have worked at my job but I don't think it's fair to discriminate on this point. Should anyone who is a mother not get a job in case they have to take time off when their child is sick? If they were to fall ill, I would phone my employer and explain what was wrong with them and ask if they were happy for me to bring them to work. If not, obviously either myself or my partner would have to take a day off. If a child you look after is sick, this doesn't affect anything. I would still go to work. If my child picked up a bug from this it would be no different to them picking one up at nursery.

Also, I don't get paid less than I used to before I brought my child to work, although I suppose I haven't had any inflation-related pay rise so you could argue it is slightly less.

You should employ whoever you feel most comfortable with but I really don't think that is has to be seen as a negative thing to have another child around.

Have you thought how long you want the job to last, as if either of you have another child it may be impractical to continue?

I have been a NWOC previously and in some jobs it worked well - in others it didn't. I have since become a childminder because from my own experience parents who have been sceptical and unsure about a NWOC are better off just finding a nanny. There are too many questions or constant reassurance is needed from the NWOC and like others have said - it's not that difficult to look after three children providing you have the experience and patience!

Maybe you should have a trial day with her and another nanny and see how you feel?

We have a nwoc but she doesn't currently take her child to work [through her choice]. We are all reconsidering it as our eldest starts reception in a few weeks, her child will be 3 in Jan and our youngest will be 2 in the Autumn. I think our youngest will be a bit lost when her older sibling disappears from 8am to 3pm every day so our nanny's child will be good company.

Our concerns - what happens when our nanny's child starts nursery/school as she lives in a different totally different catchment area miles away. It's likely that she will resign due to the logistics of the school run and then our youngest will lose a playmate and a nanny.

Sickness - you are basically adding another semi - sibling to the family. If you had 3 children and one came down with a bug, followed days later by the next child and so on, you would have to suck it up. If they are all spending time together its highly unlikely that they will escape it.

In practice whether you have a nanny, a nwoc or use a nursery, you need to set aside about 5 days a year to cover sickness. 5 days each [10 between parents] is wise. You might get lucky and have a nanny with a cast iron constitution but they get sick, pull a back too.