Would this reference put you off employing this nanny?

[Tentimesten]

So we second interviewed a prospective nanny recently, went well, and I gave her positive vibes and said I needed to check her references and would let her know next week.

She has lots of written refs (about 5) and they are all good. I have now spoken to 3 of these referees and one person (who she was employed by for 2 years) was absolutely 100% glowing (they all loved her, grandparents loved her etc), one was pretty positive (although only employed there for 6 months) but the other, although having given a positive written reference (using phrase 'fantastic nanny', although looking back, written ref is quite carefully worded eg. nanny let go because of 'change of circumstances') was quite negative on the phone. She emphasised the nanny's good points - eg. punctual, reliable, no sick days, good cooking, no concerns about children's safety at all, followed instructions, but felt that she wasn't creative enough and didn't strike up a good rapport with her children, didn't have enough zest or use initiative to think up activities, every day was the same and she was concerned her children weren't being stimulated enough. She said the nanny wasn't fun enough and her son didn't bond with her at all. She did say that it was probably just a personality thing and that she could be a good nanny for another family. Interestingly the other positive reference said that she has asked the nanny to use her initiative more and the nanny had really tried but in the end the mum had just suggested activities each day and the nanny had followed through on that really well and done what the mum had said.

There are still two referees who haven't called me back yet - one of whom she was with for 6 years so I haven't made a decision yet. But of course hearing a negative reference does put me off.

I'm really torn about what to do - it sounds like the lack of creativity etc is the other side of the same coin of following instructions to the letter, being v calm and unflappable etc (all of which I like). I'm worried though we will regret it if we take her on and she is not able to engage my son (same age as the son of the employer who gave a negative ref) but I'm also worried we might not find anyone else as good, as she is very experienced and has long connections with previous families. Nanny told me she has two other job offers but is keen to work for us and I said I would let her know by Monday after speaking to referees.

Any thoughts?

A simple activity is good. Perhaps suggest she takes your son a walk to the park/woods/etc by herself (after some time playing with your son of course) to get a feel for how she organises getting him out of the door, how happy he is to go with her and how she jollies him along and gets him excited about going. Added bonus is that it will give her a little time to relax and be herself with your son without 'being on show'. Hopefully you'll get a feel for how well they are bonding when they return.

If her only weakness is lack of creativity then could you set her up a pinterest account and pin loads of creative ideas to it for her to access. She just has to pick an idea not think of it then, and all your creative thinking is done in one fail swoop of online inspiration?

Good luck tomorrow and like lollys idea

As I said I am not creative and would struggle thinking of doing something

But happy to follow abc if idea is there iyswim

It would be lower down on my list of priorities as I would also not consider myself a creative person. I am in awe of SAHMs and nannies who dream up new things to do with their kids all the time.

If you have an OT resource [and so she is not a substitute] then you need someone who can repeat exercises etc but also find ways to engage your other child while that happens. A nanny who builds a good relationship with both children and does not use the TV as a method of keeping one child occupied, is far more important imo

It wouldn't be a negative reference for me I don't think - I would be looking for someone safe, competent, good in an emergency, punctual and reliable, and would be more that happy to suggest activities of schedule her time a little if that helped. My children aren't particularly creative types though and would be much happier taken to the park or soft play than doing arts at home.

How creative someone is is very subjective. Beign a creative nanny is also somewhat dependent on what you have access to in the way of resources / materials - as well as your personal inclination. I'd go with your gut feeling on this. Also if she's not very creative she may just need a bit of help getting started, and luckily there's loads of inspiration online. This is a really good blog with links to others:

theimaginationtree.com/

Hi there, thanks again for all the advice. We actually decided yesterday evening not to go ahead with the trial. We just had too many doubts and thought that the fact that we were feeling so stressed about making a decision meant that it was the wrong decision and we didn't want to waste the nanny's time, and so we let the nanny know so she could take up her other job offer.

I think normally the creativity thing wouldn't bother me if it wasn't for DS's additional need. We have actually interviewed someone else today who seems fantastic and v sparky. We have got a second interview with her planned so fingers crossed it works out.

Thanks ThePartyArtist for hte blog suggestion - v helpful. I need stuff like that myself as creativity doesn't come naturally to me :-)

Oh, not what I expected to hear, but there you go :)

I hope this one works out well - keep us update if you get time.