Coming home MB creating a rod for her own back at bedtime.

[FabulousFairy]

So the problem is this....

I have LOs calm and ready for MB's arrival home. MB then tells me she wants them all excited for her arrival home and to go running up to her as she comes in the door. MB then hypes them up again, gives them chocolate and cereal and milk, then can't understand why they won't go to bed!!!!!!
Children are then so tired and irritable during the day and need sleep, so they do fall asleep. MB tells me not to let them sleep, I do my best to follow MB's instructions, but a) they need to catch up on sleep and b) they are not fussed that mum has come home they would rather continue doing what they are doing.
I guess a frank and open conversation is due. Eg who is the big welcome benefiting MB or LOs and the same with the bedtime lack of routine.

Have I solved my own problem?

I'd stay out of it tbh. Be ready to leave when she gets in, let her deal with it. I wouldn't intentionally hype them up though. I'd have them calm and she can hype them up if she wants to.

Is it your job to put them to bed after she's had her exciting few minutes?

Under 3's or older children? Under 3's do nap during the day, that's just the way things are. Older children do not need it but do need a bedtime that reflects that, which may be before parents are home from work, or is at roughly the time parents get home.

Can MBoss do bedtime routine, so coming in quietly and taking over the bedtime routine at whatever stage it is at?

She sounds insecure sadly.

I would get a new job or do as she says but tell her the kids are tired. Every day. Until she gets the message.

Why does the MB not want the children to sleep during the day? If they need sleep, they have to sleep. Who is that benefiting?

She sounds like she has watched too many Disney movies, wanting her children dancing and jumping around her, feting her arrival home while she indulges them with sugary treats. It sounds so choreographed "running up to her as she opens the door" . Does she want them to jump into her arms as well? Guilt perhaps?

Sleep breeds sleep - nothing worse then putting a tired hyper child to bed

If she is not putting them to bed at a decen hour than they will be tired and need to sleep daytime

If she wants to give them Chocolate milk etc then up to her - he kids

Just say if they are tired and grumpy uou will be putting to sleep during the day. A 60/90 min nap and awake by 3.30 will still ensure they sleep in evening

I would just carry on as we are and maybe say mummy is here when you hear the door open and they can go to her if they want. She sounds like she is insecure or a control freak. You probably know which.

This one has been annoying me for days so finally I have to comment. It is simply good manners that when someone enters the home, those people inside the house acknowledge and welcome them. Isn't that what she's asking for?

I can't get over your comment that the children can't be bothered when she comes in - think there is a lot more going wrong here than a worry about coco pops. And you as a childcarer don't seem to view your role as supporting the parent-child relationship at all. What do you think about the relationship they have and is it cause for concern and can you help her more here?

Gosh so frustrating I've been there! I used to work for a family who let their kids fall alseep downstairs on the floor and carry them to bed!

If your done for the day their is little you can do sadly!

I used to and still do sneak into the house as our AP is doing bed time. I don't expect and over excited greeting. What I like to do is slot in and if possible cuddle up with DD and read her a bedtime story. IMO the best part of day.

Do you need to still be on duty once MB is home? I can see why it's frustrating for you but surely it's her look-out if her children are hyper at bedtime! I can also tell you from past experience that having been at work since the early hours & not seen my babies all day I used to LOVE that over-excited greeting I got when I walked through the door and yes my DH used to get a bit because they were all calm & clean for bed but there was no way I was missing out on their hugs & kisses.

Sounds like there's more to this with MB than just over-excited kids at bedtime.

I see both sides to this, maybe mom feels guilt/insecurity, maybe she just wants hugs and cuddles when she gets home from work. That's more than understandable!

I would never intentionally hype children up just before meal or sleep times, you just end up creating problems for yourself, as you are experiencing now.

What's your relationship like with mom? Can you just talk to her and work through this together? Do you stay around to help with bedtime?

MB and me have had a long chat about bedtime routine. We have decided that I do bath time routine, get them ready for bed and then MB comes into bedroom for cuddles and stories. I go home at this point.
Regarding sleep in the day, I am to continue with quiet time and if they fall asleep in buggy so be it..
Thanks for all your posts gals. The relationship between MB and nanny is key. Nanny is in loco parentis and it is up to nanny to reassure MB that children's affection for nanny is transient. Their love of MB is unconditional.
Perhaps I'll start a new thread on this.