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CM Club - mindee advice please?

3 replies

saltire · 15/09/2006 09:35

It might be that no one can help with thi9s, but it's worth a try.
Some of you may recall i mind a 3.6 year old and his 18 month old brother. Well just recently the 3 year old has started displying what i would term "inappropriate behaviour". I had noticed him doing it once or twice previously but not to the extent that he is now.
He stands/sits/leans against anyone who is near us and strokes them - their hair, legs, arms and sometimes chest! He did it to my DH yesterday and he ended up going off in the car for a couple fo hours to get away, even if he moved away the little one would follow. He does it to my friends when they pop in with their children, he does it other mothers at toddler group and if we are standing near someone at school he strokes their leg. The whole time he is doing it he has what i can only describe as a "manic looking " grin. He also shoves his brother and the other mindee i have. If he is, for example, walking across the living room, and his brother is in his way,he won't go round him, he will shove him over and step on him to get to where he is going, same if there is a toy in his way he will just step on it, he doesn't seem to be able to grasp the fact that he should go round it. he repeats himself over and over until i change the subject. EG "what you doing Saltire" so I tell him, then he says it again, so i tell him again, etc etc. I mentioned all this to his parents but they never said anything, just "Oh yes he does this at home". How can i stop him from touching people? It's got to the stage where i am going to have to stop going to M&T's as the other mums are getting uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ayla99 · 15/09/2006 10:07

He's got to learn to respect other peoples space. Its tedious but if you keep on repeating yourself he ought to get the message eventually.
Touching - keep reminding him "X doesn't want a cuddle/to be touched right now" and give an alternative "Teddy wants a cuddle, lets give him a hug & read him story". Make sure he's getting lots of appropriate cuddles from you (eg reading stories together) and just keep on moving his hands & asking him to stop.

Shoving - A big, firm NO, we don't push people. Pick him up and put him back where he started, without the toy/whatever he was aiming for. Put a toy in his way & get him to practice going around it and praise him up/give him the toy he wanted when he goes carefully round. If he won't do it, take away the toy he wanted and try again later.

Repetition/questions/ Answer the question and then give them a question; probably will ignore your question & keep asking same one. So after saying I'm sitting on a chair mindie, what are you doing mindie? several times I then throw in something silly - I'm riding a camel, mindie, what are you doing?

Do you keep daily diaries? This would show the frequency of these incidents and by putting in things like "the other child cried/got cross" etc it will be easier to show the parents that you can't allow this to continue.
HTH.

ayla99 · 15/09/2006 10:08

Just re-read that, by moving his hands I meant OFF you and onto his lap/by his sides!.

LoveMyGirls · 15/09/2006 12:46

very good advice - i wouldnt know what to do either but that sounds like a plan it must be very frustrating to have this behaviour, what do you think could be behind it though/ what is causing it? if you can get to the root of the problem it may be quicker to deal with? has he always been like this or is it a new thing? could be a phase? i dont really have any answers as im new to this but these would be the questions i would ask as well as taking on board what ayla99 said. let us know how you get on.

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