Advice for single mum of newborn

[Adverbial99]

Hi, I'm helping a friend prepare to become a single mother in a few months' time. She will stay in the UK for the first few months, before moving to the father's country (although they are not together) to bring up the child.

I am suggesting that she employ somebody to help in the very early days, but although I have a baby myself, I don't know what sort of help would be most useful (it also needs to be affordable within reason) -- somebody 24/7 for the first couple of weeks, or somebody for a few hours a day for a couple of months, or a combination of the two? And a doula, or a maternity nurse, or a nanny..?

I'd really appreciate any advice about this - many thanks.

Doula perhaps. www.doula.org.uk

I was

Sorry

I was on my own from day 1.

I had a bit of begrudging help from my parents but nothing from friends or ex.

I didn't have any paid help. Lol- I had £0 to my name.

I'd say stock up on non perishables eg 6 months supply of nappies, wipes, sacks, toilet roll etc

Why is she moving to his country? Unless it is hers as well that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. She could be horribly isolated.

I was alone from day one too. Will you be present at the birth? Someone to make meals and take the baby away occasionally so she can sleep, so a temporary housekeeper?

Kinda depends on her parenting style (and many people surprise themselves with what THAT turns out to be)! Eg: one could hand the baby over to a night nurse/mat nurse 7pm-7am and have a great rest, or if you want do a contact parenting style you might want help with cooking/shopping/laundry (extreme examples). She might think about how much she wants to let someone else be with the baby. So hard to know what will happen re health/recovery also

I'm a maternity nurse and have worked for a few single mothers. My next contract is a single mother. All have either had elective c-sections or emergency c-sections.

Me being there does not mean the mums are hands off. I teach all baby care. Bring mother breakfast in bed and prepare most other meals especially in the early weeks. Run errands if mum can't get out. Make sure visitors aren't staying around too long obviously with prior discussion with mother. Help support learning to breast feed, mix feed, express or formula feed which ever mum has chosen. Support with the midwife and health visitor visits especially heel prick test which any mum finds hard but being alone must make it harder. I also make sure to give mum ways if coping once I'm gone and work myself out of a job be it a one week one or a six month one.

What I try to do is do one-two weeks 24/6or7 and then flexible the other weeks so could be nights only of three 24 hour periods.

The answer really depends on how much she can afford.

The most cost effective help would perhaps be a cleaner? Someone to come once or maybe twice a week? I use an agency who charge me £10p/h and she is here for 2hrs.

You could use a babysitting service maybe three hours every morning? This could cost anything from £20-30+ a day.

Get a budget in mind, and then search! X

When is she due? I am a Maternity Nurse looking for a role from September/October and happy to be flexible - you or your friend can email me on [email protected] to see my cv and talk through possible options!

Thanks very much for the advice, everyone! It's really helpful. Time to do some sums now...