should i phone health visitor

[dmo]

this is really tricky
had two little girls start today 7.30-12.30 aged 5 mths and 3 yrs, their mum left 3 mths ago so dad now has them.
anyway he arrived this morning with 1 bottle (with no lid) for me to use and a tub of milk, he says he does not sterlize (baby is so sicky)
a pack of midi nappys (said the 3yr old will just about squees into them)
the pram, coat, and blanket stunk of sick, couldnt wash them today but i am going to tomorrow
what would you lot do? got health visitors number here in front of me but dont want to jump in with two feet on the first day

Message withdrawn

thanks i will do
didnt think it was negligence just thought he could do with some advise and help

just phoned the health visitor she was lovely
said they normally do a 6 mths check anyway so they would follow it up and not name me
feel so much better now hopfully they can give a helping hand

Good for dmo as you say its not neglect the poor guy just needs abit of help and guidance. He must be really going through at the moment. Sounds like he's lucky to have you to care for his children so that's one good thing in his life

Goodness the poor man

The poor baby must only have been 2 months when the mum left

Hopefully she will get the help she needs too and may return to the children, the man will do a good job once the HV gets onto the case. Well Done DMO

mum ran off with her dh best friend

thank god he has someone like you for support and advice, dmo

what a shame

thanks guys
will offer advise to him but dont want to make him feel like i'm taking over
got the girls 3.30pm till 8.30pm tomo so will wash their coats for them he may not notice

He may be suffering from depression so you absolutely did the right thing. Try as I might I do find it difficult to understand a mother leaving her children.

Message withdrawn

Slightly different case but a baby I look after his mum died when he was a baby so dad had all that to cope with as well. Anyway just helped as best I could and 8 years on the little fella is still here. Dad and the child still have their moments but they know they can always ask for help if they need it. Just offer help and see what dad says maybe he is just waiting for someone to offer, you never know.

you did the right thing, although wed all be OMG, he obviously has no idea and needs tremendous help.
i dont know how youd go about sterilising etc?..but IIRC you can stop at 6 month? so maybe not big issue.

try and befriend him slightly and ask hows he's getting along, say how har you found it when theyre young(even if you didnt)

i have 6 nappies here to fit 3yr old bought from majorca and never used plus i have 2 disney princess pull ups for about same age, if theyre any use..also i know its more for you to do, but kep your eye out for vouchers for him..everything helps..just say you have a drawer full of vouchers for all aprents to choose from and would he find these of any use??
hope you get sorted

scroll down till you see bit about free sample
here is a voucher for a free sample of drynights, this may be of some use for him

thanks strawberry moon
sent dh for nappies b4 i dont mind paying
also bought a stelizer and a couple of bottles it will come in handy anyway
got them till 8.30pm again tomorrow but managed to wash coats, carseat cover, blankets and pram tonight with dh help
will ask him if hes ok next week and hopefully get to know and help him a bit more

he's very lucky to have you

hi dmo, hows it going? any better?, had chance to speak with the dad?

have a look at my new thread what have i done?????????

Tell this poor man about mumsnet. Tell him he can get loads of advice here, if he wants it of course.

Poor man. And poor poor poor poor kids.

As for the woman... What a horrid horrid person.

very true