House rules

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We have just employed a new nanny. We have never had a nanny before. She will be doing 2 long days with us We are using PAYEnanny for pay stuff and have a proper contract etc. I have seen people saying that you provide a set of house rules. What sort of things do people include in this, when do you got through it with the nanny? I'm keen not to be too prescriptive, but realise that some ground rules probably need to be in place. Any help or advice gratefully received!

House rules are more for live in nannies in my view. What sort of thing are you thinking you need to have in your house rules?

Do you mean like helping herself to food and drink?

For a live out not sure what you mean?

We had common sense things like close windows and lock doors before going out, not answering the door unless we were expecting someone etc

I guess my 'ground rules' are based around safety.
No one in the house unless my employers are expecting them and have told me.
Turn off appliances when leaving the house.
Use alarm.
Ensure children are hygiene conscious- ie. Wash hands before meals etc.

We went through food and drink when signing the contract. Ditto play dates, activities etc.

House rules are more for Au pairs. Most professional Nannys wil be experienced enough to know tht children need to wash their hands lol sorry that really made me giggle!

I have to agree with Crowen that a nanny would know ..Hopefully..all about hygiene and safety.At the interview We should have been asked about these things and told of things that are important to you.We should have been asked what would we do in particular situations. nannies I know do not generally have writtenground rules, as most of the nannies I know...Waves to Blondes...have been nannies for ten years or more we should all be knowledgable about all that needs to be done to keep children and house safe and secure.

Do you really tell your nanny not to answer the door unless you are expecting someone? rubyslippers

Yes I did

I didn't want them to to have to deal with cold callers or chuggers

We had a spate of burglaries last year with bogus people knocking on doors too

We had a nanny bible which comprised of things we expected them to do as part of their nursery duties e.g..mopping the kitchen floor if the children trod mud all over it, wiping down surfaces if they were dirty, putting out newspaper if painting and (my 2 personal bugbears) putting bits of toys back in the right boxes and not getting the play dough too mixed up!

Children's routines.

Safety issues specific to our house e.g. opening windows from the top only. Being careful around the glass table in our lounge.

House stuff like how the dishwasher and washing machine works, turning off lights and putting alarm on before they left the house (and how alarm works). How to open electronic gates if they break.Asking them to take in deliveries etc.

Emergency contact numbers for us, doctor, grandparents, route to A@E, neighbours numbers.

Unfortunately I don't have a copy of it any more, its on an old broken pc and our au pair bible is too basic for a nanny.

I think it is a lot easier to set out phone numbers, routines and how you generally like things done in a 'family guidebook', than have to raise issues later, when they might sound like 'criticisms' or 'problems', which may hurt feelings, and cause a stress if you are a coward about being assertive like me
It's a very short guide, and most things are 'preferences' rather than 'rules' for me, e.g. nap and meal timings, no shoes inside, no food on sofa, not too much sugar. The things I feel more strongly about rule-wise are no smoking, and no visitors to the house without me knowing first.
Every family works differently, and I think its a bit hard to expect a new nanny to guess or feel like she's making mistakes. I think it helps people feel comfortable if they know what is expected. I just try to avoid being dictatorial or 'lady of the manor' about it.

You would be horrified at some nannies I've met. Hygiene etc isn't thought about once.
My current employers hadn't had a nanny before me so didn't know exactly what to expect from a professional nanny. Makes sense to me that if there is something they feel strongly about they put it in writing.

We also have permission letters for the Dr's incase I take them or they need vaccinations etc.
Emergency contacts etc too.

I did not mean to say ..Having re read what I put.. that the parents don't tell us things or write down important things to know such as contact numbers,medicinal requirements ,alarm systems ,fuse boxes etc,I think it was the words written rules I haven 't had.Generally I have a couple of days with Mum at home when she will generally tell me the things mentioned above,actually I am usually noting down what she says.I also have to agree with Karoleann,there are some nannies who may not be as safety conscious as others.almost every thing that can happen to someone working in someone else's home has happened to me ,and anything you can do to help ..especially a young nanny ..You should.

'Waves back'

Never been given rules and think I would be offended over washing hands /shut doors / windows ie common sense - but guess younger nannies may need guidence - tho I didn't when younger

Telephone no are handy - tho generally in address book in kitchen

Agree house rules are normally more for live ins

And def allow your nanny to eat at yours esp of doing long days make sure she can have breakfast

Karoleann please can I steal this - wiping down surfaces if they were dirty, putting out newspaper if painting and (my 2 personal bugbears) putting bits of toys back in the right boxes and not getting the play dough too mixed up! to put in my "bosses bible"!!

I hate Monday mornings when I have to sort through all the toy boxes. The play dough doesn't bother me so much anymore (28 years of it gets kind of old!) so I just buy new stuff that I hide on a Friday!

Back to the OP, I don't have a nanny bible (I am live-in) I have common sense! I also do things the way I want to do them, with the agreement of my employers at interview.

I have a book (one of those with plastic holders that you slip paper into) that I prepared when our nanny started 5 years ago. It has 2 or 3 things that are "rules" as such and the rest is meant to help (e.g. how to work the washing machine and tumble drier; how to turn on the heating; where the first aid box is kept), and a list of all important telephone numbers. Initially it had a summary routine (the DDs were v small then) but that's long gone. Now they are at school I've found it helpful to put the school term calendar (suitably highlighted) and the class list in so our nanny always has addresses for playdates (rather than texting me because I forgot, again, to write it in the diary!).

We had a bumpy patch where we had a series of temp nannies and I found it was so much easier having my book ready rather than having to write it up every time.

On the "rules" - there are a few small things that drive me crazy whether done by DH, visiting family members or a nanny. When our nanny first started (5 years ago) I told her those. She probably thought I was mad, but it avoided me having to "correct" her some months down the line over something really small and petty. (And these were really small things - like a particular set of knives that don't go in the dishwasher - rather than stuff I expect a nanny should know).

(Each time I've updated it, I have kept the old pages and its quite sweet now to read about their routines when they were little, and the little description of their personalities that I wrote up when our nanny first started .)

Our 'house rules' are also based around safety, e.g. when to contact us and when to use common sense (e.g. children unwell), when children can be given medication and which ones and how much, other people visiting the house, electricity/sharp objects/water/sun cream, etc. Our nannies are both very experienced so it´s really just been letting them know our personal preferences, such as "no need to call us if they have a little scratch on the knee." If you children have any allergies or medical conditions, then of course discuss those.

Also we do not like the children to watch TV. (We make sure there are plenty of other things for them to get on with by themselves when the nanny is cooking, etc.)

Speak to your nanny and see how she is with the children. She will also do the same with you. In so far as her values and behaviour match with yours then there is no need to provide huge long lists although some parents do (Beans ONLY on Monday. 1 tsp of tomato ketchup ONCE a week. Milk must be x brand and served in x cup, etc. In these cases I always wonder whether the nanny has an anarchic streak and just pops to McDonald´s every so often with the poor children!)

Make a list of phone numbers and names too such as schools, doctors, close friends and family who might call up, neighbours.