Sensitive question for CM or mums whose lo's go to a CM

[PanicPants]

I've just gone back to work after mat leave and have left ds with the CM for the first time this week.

The CM is a friend of mine who I used to work with previously, she's very nice and I like her.

But this week I've been a bit worried, she's given ds back to me at the end of the day and each time he's been grubby, with an unwashed face and also his forehead has been covered in bruises.

There was no mention in his little book about the bruises and I didn't want to mention it to her right at the beginning. They had been to soft play that day so I'm guessing thats where it happened - but feel it's a bit strange she didn't mention it.

Is it normal to hand the child back in such a state?

Yes I know I'm being over anxious and it is early days.

That's not right at ALL, PP. Not that I;m saying she is abusing your DS or anything but she certainly has a duty of care and it sounds like she isn't really fulfilling it . DD's childminder used to document every single tiny thing in her accident book, even if it left no marks and was v minor. Maybe that's taking it a bit to the other extreme but sending him home filthy and covered in bruises is

I write everything in my accident book even when the Mum thinks I shouldn't have bothered. I would also be concerned if your lo isn't clean. I have a separate flannel for each child and I use them!

Really?

I too document every injury in accident book and get parents to sign when picked up.
I must admit sometimes mindees do get grubby if we have been playing outside/do painting etc but I would put in daily diary 'sorry xx is a little grubby today, we have been playing in sand etc'. Would add though that wouldn't hand over mindees with food etc on face (all of my mindees have their own flannel and towel and they are used before/after eating etc).

I have to sign my cm's accident book if dd has been bruised or grazed which she's there. She's sometimes a bit grubby, or painty, or gluey, but I don't mind that - it just shows me she's been having a fabulous time!

I think you just need to ask your cm how he got his bruises and explain that you would always like to know if he has had a bump etc.

My CM signs her accident book for EVERYTHING. She might sent DS home with a few paint splashes on but not with a dirty face or hands.

Message withdrawn

Mindees sometimes go home not too clean -clothes esp I mean- depending on what we have done (church hall toddler groups can be dusty as they crawl everywhere)- if we have been in the park or are playing in the garden when mum comes to collect and I didn't want to interrrupt to clean them whilst they are busy, but bruises should all go in the accident book. ne mum who had a child who was learing to stand and was very keen on exploring had a few weeks when I kept having to get her to sign the book - but then he did the same at home too so she knew it wan't me IYSWIM

Thankyou, I will mention the bruises to her and ask how they happened, and ask her to tell me about any accidents that happen in future. She is registered and has been ofsteded.

I will try another week with her and see if things stay the same, if they do, then I guess I'll need to look for another CM.

Thanks for all your replies.

have you ever been around her while she's minding other kids, and so know what she acts like around them? if she's a friend it makes it feel harder for you to ask her whats been going on, but i'm sure she'd rather set your mind at rest tan have you worry about it. it's important to all minders that parents are happy.

DS often comes home filthy. He plays on the field after school. However I think it is a different issue for a 5yo compared with a LO. Both children were always clean (ie hands/faces - clothes being another matter!) when I collected them from nursery.

My DS went to a CM for three years who was a friend and I would have been appalled if he had been dirty or bruised. As other posts, any minor incident was always reported, even if no mark - as a mark could appear later and might need explaining. PandaG is a CM and friend on here and I know she would never ever return a child in that state with nothing said - you are not being over the top, at all, IMO.