Does au-pair doing enough?

[newmuMM111]

Hello everyone.

Since January I have lovely au-pair in my family, she has been okay with her duties just lately it seems to me that she is getting lazy but also I am not sure if I am not asking too much of her. I am single mum with a single child.

I pay her 80 pounds a week and her duties are:

1hr in the morning with my only child - breakfast, doing HW, get dressed, brush teeth, play in the spare time, then take to school (walking distance)

2.5-3hrs in the afternoon - collect from school, give a snack, then play, make a simple dinner for him, prepare a bath/shower and that is it.

She is making breakfast and dinner for my son most of the days, cleaning kitchen and floors after meal, loading and unloading dishwasher, tidying up living room/my sons bedroom every day, making him a bed of course, preparing his waterbottle and books for school, helping him with homework, doing most of the washing and drying clothes, feeding cat sometimes, just small bits and pieces around the house that really dont take a lot of time.

Plus she is cleaning my house every week for 3hrs(kitchen, bathrooms, living room, her bedroom and my sons bedroom), does 3 hours of ironing a week, babysitting about once a week + every second Saturday.
Sometimes I am going out more (maybe 3 times a week but it is not really often) and also about once a week I am a bit late from work so she stays with my son 2/3 hrs more - until 7/8pm instead of 6.30pm and sometimes she babysits overnight - I am coming back arround 9am in the morning next day.

Totally it is 26 hours with cleaning, ironing + as I said babysittings and little bits and pieces arround house.

She has own bedroom, she can help herself in the fridge (My grocery bills are around 10 pounds higher (per week) since she came), TV in her room, Wi-fi, etc.

So, what do you think? Should I talk to her? Mostly she is not doing all the ironing and cleaning properly.

Think I want an aupair now!

Hire your cleaner back. The housework you describe is not 'light'. Tidying up after herself and your dc is fine, emptying d/w fine. Cleaning bathroom/windows/bins is too much imo.

And of course her wages shouldn't be reduced. It's not on to ask her in the first place.

A few of my colleagues (law firm) all want to be my aupair .

It is such an easy job once they get into the routine. They get to stay in a leafy part of the London in a big house with their own room in the loft with a walk-in wardrobe. Everything is done and paid for. They just have to do their duties. Guess there is always a catch ...

She is doing a lot already. 20 hours child related, minimum 5/6 evenings of babysitting per month, plus overnight sole care, plus 6 hours cleaning and ironing. No wonder she is slacking. Hire a cleaner for the cleaning and ironing.

What else do you offer aside from £80? Mobile phone? Travel? Gym membership? Language course or other course?

Au pair means 'on par'. It's a cultural exchange; she's not your skivvy.

She doesnt mind ironing, she is usually listening to the music while doing it and she sometimes does even more which I appreciate.
Problem is just the cleaning, which I will try to talk to her again.

In the begining, I was offering 70 pounds a week and no cleaning, just ironing. When we were on skype before she came, she told me that she is looking for a family which offers at least 80 pounds. I told her okay but she will be doing cleaning of the house. We havent discussed it properly so she might thought I mean just vacuum there and there and sometimes kitchen...It was mistake I know, but not just mine, hers as well - she havent asked. But she did not say anything when I gave her list of her duties after she arrived.

So I might leave her with 70 per week and hire a cleaner and we will see if she agrees with it.

You are meant to buy her food so it doesn't need mentioning.

Oh please blueshoes. Don't fall for your own hyperbole. We all know that APing is a great way for middle class families with big houses to access cheap child care. Yes of course, there is a quid pro quo but if it wasn't financially advantageous for the families, they'd hire a nanny instead.

Mainly your mistake as each family will have different needs.

I took an au pair job and had no idea I was supposed to clean the house! This was a three storey large home and I was told to do it after a few weeks. Bit of a shock.

QuintessentiallyQS: I give her 20 pounds a month for an oystercard (we live at the edge of the London) and 10 pounds for a phone a month.
I offered her language course (I would pay first semester for her and the rest would be on her), but she told me she doest want to - and she doesnt need to, her english is perfect.

I think if she is good with your child, you should appreciate her. The main job you want is childcare and if that is working out fine, I would not go to heavy on the other stuff.

People are not interchangeable. You might find the next one is great at cleaning but makes your child unhappy.

Do you really need to reduce her wage to £70? How much difference will these £43 a month make in your budget?

If she's so good, just leave the girl with £80 a week and hire a cleaner. She will feel appreciated.

And I also wanted to ask - what about summer holidays? My AP is going to work for 4 weeks 9am to 6pm weekdays and then she has 7 working days off.
Do you pay them more or like usually during the shool year?

AP is supposed to be cultural exchange in return for a bit of help in the house, not a cheap nanny-cleaner combo. You are demanding too much. Get your cleaner back and apreciate that this AP is great with your child.

Maybe she does not know how to clean to the standard you require.

I would expect many 20 year olds have never cleaned a mirror, have probably never cleaned a toilet or bath.

I'm in my 40s and not sure if I even know how to do it properly.

Could you show her how to do things, so she can see how it is done, what the end result looks like.

Yes I would absolutely pay more during the school
Holidays

You are expecting way too much for an au pair

I have an au pair and it is light housework and only relating to the kids

The cleaner is to clean

I wouldn't ask for overnight care either except in an emergency and would pay extra for that

9-6 all week, so 45 hours. I would increase pay, say another £20 a week, plus provide for all expenses for trips out with your son, such as to museums, icecream at the park/playground. Have a budget for activities/icecream. Last thing you want is your son sitting around all day at home getting bored.

And the food is a red herring

Your au Pair is part of your family / you provide food and accommodation - that's a given

You are getting a lot for your money!

Au pairs should not be doing full days and you must pay her more of course, not that she should be doing those hours.

£1 an hour extra?

Bloody hell.

That she didn't expect to do much cleaning is entirely your mistake. An AP isn't a cleaner; the two are completely exclusive, so it isn't her mistake at all to assume that she'd only have to do light housework; that's all an AP is supposed to do. If you want her to be your cleaner too, you should be paying her AP pocket money, and the wages you'd normally pay a cleaner.

If you intend to double her hours you'd double her wages, surely?

I feel so sorry for au pairs. This board is one of the reasons I chose not to spend last summer as one. They're given expectations of a cultural exchange, being 'on par' with the family - which is what 'au pair' means - and looking after the children, teaching them about their culture and learning about a new one.

Instead they're skivvies for MC families, who ask them to go above and beyond what an au pair is supposed to do, and STILL lament the fact that they're not doing enough.

Aupairs are not paid an hourly rate.

If they took the role knowing that in term time it would be 26 hours and 45 hours in holidays, then I feel it is fine to increase the pocket money a bit during the holiday time.

If they are paid a lot more, then it becomes taxable.

Was doing longer hours in holiday time discussed with them before they arrived?