Nanny asking me to book activities

[GogoGobo]

Hi, I have limited experience with Nannies and would really appreciate opinions. I employ a Nanny 2 days per week for my 3 year old DS. He attends Pre-school on both days in the pm for 2.5 hours and she drops and picks up and either has late lunch or ses the gym nearby.

We pay for both lunch and gym. We have no other children. In Sept he will switch to mornings because it is his Pre school year so she will still be paid for 2 whole days but her day won't start until 12.30pm. I will drop him at Pre School both mornings because its en route to my place of work and i like to keep in touch with the Pre-school.

Soooo issue is that Nanny has said she would like me to book activities for him for the afternoon!! I have switched his swimming lesson to One of the days but she has nw asked if i can book another activity for the other afternoon. If i can't she has asked if he can revert back to afternoons as she prefers the way he days run currently.

We pay £10 per hour in the South West.

Is it a normal for the parent to havevto book classes or should she just sort something? We leave a "kitty" of £10 per day currently too.
Thx

Heels This will only be the case from Sept and yes, it could be an option to look for cover just from 12.30pm but for the sake of a few hours we thought about continuity and she is also technically "on duty" as if he was poorly she would go o collect him. Plus its term time only so gives me a headache in the hols if someone starts at 12.30pm....

So she gets £30 each morning to go to the gym. While it might not be important for you, this looks like the most expensive childcare arrangement possible. Couldn't she do your DS's laundry or some cooking or other nanny type tasks?

It does sound to me like she's taking the piss. You might be better off having a word with the preschool and see if they know of any childminders who'll pick up from preschool for those 2 afternoons a week - they will then only charge you for the afternoon and you won't have to pay their gym membership. Granted you'll have to swap your DS's swimming lessons to another afternoon, but that should work.

Most childminders would also - on arrangment - do the extra hours during hte holidays, on the downside you won't have cover when your DS is sick, but an emergancy nanny on those days would probably balance out the costs....

Right, I've just spoken to her and said that I was a bit surprised at her request and really she is looking at one afternoon of having to "entertain" him and I don't want him tearing from A to B but having some time at home.
Her response was that she likes to do activities as she mers other Nannies/Friends and she is a sociable person.
I basically said well thats about your needs and not his and whilst I like the fact you are sociable and outgoing I'm not going to prioritise this.

It was a little frosty when I said this but she did say "whatever is best for him, of course"
Hopefully its been put to bed BUT now my hackles are up so hopefully it cools down between now and next week and it was an ill thought through request and nothing more .....
I really appreciate all the comments, thank you

Plus so many of you have said its an overly generous arrangement I am now thinking we have been a bit silly with the remuneration.....

She is absolutely taking the piss:

"We live a some distance from the Pre-school Ninetysixpercent and so we offered to add her to our membership to give her something to do in the time he is in his Pre-School session as if she dropped and returned home she would have a very short time before leaving for pick up. It is actually more economical to give her gym membership than pay the mileage for there and back x 2"

You don't need to pay her mileage, since you are paying her, then the assumption would be that she waits outside for 2.5 hours, as she is being paid, then it's absolutely fine for her to be expected to wait.

She can go for a walk, play with her phone, whatever. But given that she is being paid while your child is at preschool, and you as her employer have no need for her to run errands elsewhere in this time, you don't need to pay her mileage to make the second journey.

If she's not even dropping him off at preschool she could go to your house in the morning, make lunch and some stuff for the freezer, wash his clothes and bedding, sort his toys and still have a right doss before picking him up. She's taking advantage.

Sounds to me as if she can't think of what to arrange herself...I think you definitely need to talk to her, find out why she can't arrange activities herself. They can be anything from messy play, painting, cooking, park, farm, meeting up with friends...is she lacking in self-confidence? Is she motivated? This definitely needs further investigation!

LOL at 'I am a sociable person'. Erm, you can be sociable on your own time, love!

I'm a cm (but used to be a nanny) so appreciate it is a completely different set up, but I am laughing that a nanny can't cope with entertaining a child for one afternoon a week because they are sociable person. I am a sociable person, but find I am in every afternoon, entertaining three children. It's hard work and tests my imagination (and patience) some days, but any job can be hard.

Don't be hard on yourself that you have been silly with the nanny and her terms etc. just try to reign it in a bit and make sue you are happy with the arrangements that are made this time and try to be firmer in future with any requests she makes.

My DD was shattered after school when she was 3/4 and wanted a nap and to play at home with her toys before perhaps going to the park for an hour at the end of the afternoon.

YOU employ HER. Not the other way around. If you want him to go to activities, fine. If not, she looks after/entertains him etc.

You are being a complete mug . You pay for your nanny to go to the gym in the mornings in case she's bored because her charge is at pre school even though she's on duty; then you're considering booking classes for your child in the afternoons in case she'd actually have to look after him then instead of sipping coffee while someone else does??

I would like to point out that most classes require a high level of carer participation. Most certainly not sitting around drinking coffee!

Most classes that I've taken my 3 years old to, Tanith, (swimming, Tumbletots, Enjoy-a-ball, dance, a music class) encourage parents to drop children off and then wait outside. IIRC I don't think I've ever been allowed to leave the premises with children that age, but I've certainly not been required (or encouraged) to actively participate.

I have been to music class and trampolining class. Parents/carers had to stay for those. So I expect it varies quite a bit.

The issue with some classes is that they don't do pay-as-you-go, so need to be paid upfront, termly. I tend to try to find classes that let us go on a PAYG basis for a while, then if child likes it, then I ask parents to pay for a term (as that is often cheaper than PAYG) plus guarantees there is a space allocated for the child.

In relation to paying a nanny when children start school/pre-school, I also used to pay a full time nanny so I had emergency sick cover and holiday cover (did not pay for gym though!). The nanny had been with us for a few years and was great and we wanted continuity and was fortunate to be able to afford the luxury. As we knew her, we also felt we could trust her not to take advantage.
Like you, I (or sometimes DH) was able and wanted to do school drop off. The expectation was that during term time she would come in 3 mornings to do their laundry, tidying etc and some chores, and that she would have the other 2 mornings off (subject to illness) as realistically there was not enough for her to do. But the 3 mornings she was meant to be working she did not arrive until after we left the house (becuase I did drop off) so we actually had no idea when she turned up and we increasingly got the sense she was taking the piss. Eg there were a few times when we discovered she was definitely not there on mornings she was meant to be (eg if one of us was at home sick or went in late for some reason). She always had an excuse but it was too much of a coincidence after 1 or 2 times that the very days when we happened to be at home were the days when she had an excuse to be very late . Laundry etc got done and house was always immaculate to be fair, but my impression is she was doing some stuff like that when the kids were at home. We increasingly felt like mugs and in hindsight I am not sure why we let it continue so long.

We now have a new nanny who we just pay for the hours she works (or rather we pay her a blended rate so she has a regular income, meaning during term time is she essentially overpaid and in holiday time underpaid). This works well.
It is hard to get an experienced/qualified nanny to do this because they will always take a full time/full paid if they can, but we have a younger more inexperienced nanny which I would probably not have done when they are younger but happy with now. the reality is she may move on in due course because now she has the experience on her CV she coudl potentially get a more full time job, but she has been with us 2 years now.

We ended up wishing we had made the change much earlier and i think we put too more store on continuity. DC love our current nanny and in a way she is more suitable for their age group than the old one who ended up babying them a bit.

Unless you are planning to have another DC and will need full time again, I would defintely look for a nanny who does nto require full time pay. Continuity is good, but not the be all and end all in my experience. More important to have suitable childcare for what you actually need.

My experience of Tumbletots, baby sensory, signing and singing Baby gym and music groups is quite the opposite. Carers and parents have to be present and helping their child.

My interpretation of nannies desire for activities/club in afternoon isn't because she wants to sit around with a cuppa and a buiscuit and do nothing (as some quite rightly say a lot of these groups involve a lot of adult participation!) it's more the fact that she cant think of something to do herself, for one afternoon a week , that lack of initiative isn't promising!
If she is as sociable as she says, surely she can arrange play dates, park time, so on and so on...

My experience of classes like Tumble tots etc was once they were 3 (or in the class with 3 and 4 yes old if it ran on academic years) you had to drop off and wait.

Tell her you don't believe in activities for a 3 yo. IMO an activity every afternoon is excessive anyway. She should be organising something to do at home or from home with him in fact- planting seeds, going for a walk, trip to the park etc... Teaching him how to brush his teeth/ use the loo/ wipe own bottom/ tie shoelaces/ eating with knife and fork/ learning how to count etc.. All these are social skills learned at home and that's why you buy care at home. Even a good childminder teaches these skills.

Oh, and that gym time would be much better employed doing a smart work-out on your DS's bedroom, clothes and toys.

And people don't generally go to work to socialise. People's bosses would take a dim view of an office-based worker spending the afternoon chatting with their friends instead of getting on with their job.

Hahaha duchesse- I agree with most of what your saying...having been a nanny it's very lonely, especially if you only have one child with you, so I agree it's important to mix it up, and meet other nannies and children, but the nanny needs to use her initiative. And if it is only one afternoon a week I'm sure she will manage some one-on-one time!!