Is this "normal" nanny behaviour?

[allisgood1]

We are already getting rid of our nanny because I am having dc3 and will be home so don't need her anymore.

BUT...is this normal? This is our second nanny, she only works one day a week and is older. Our last nanny kept a diary of what she did, what the kids ate, etc. I always came home to kids who were dressed well and hair clearly brushed.

This nanny:

1. Never brushes their hair, unless I specifically tell her to. She often is waking my youngest up so I can't understand why she let's her go looking like a mop head all day?

2- they never go out. If ask she says "oh no we just stayed in and played". They only go out for the school run and to take eldest dc to a club. 3- they often go without drinks or go with little drinks. They have straw based cups and we have noticed on more than one occasion that they've been given the sippy cup with no straw (for example if it hasn't been put together because it's just come out of dishwasher). 4- I know it's bad to rely on the report of a 2.5 year old (there are 2 of them as my niece is also looked after), but they don't ever get fruit or snacks. I looked (counted) the snacks and fruit to test this one day and the same amount was there when I got home.

I know I know I should mention this but all this has only just come to light (she's only been with us for a few months) and we've already given her notice anyway. But should I be expecting more?? Or am I expecting too much?

I believe when someone employs someone to look after their children they should be looked after they way their parent would treat their child. The nannie should treat the children like she is looking after her own children put its a child where there relying on that person to care and teach them the right way of living. That's why I could never rent a nannie because some people can't be trusted in such a responsible job. I would mention or write the truth in a recommendation if asked for as or behaviour could just get worst with the next vulnerable child/ren.

You are right to get rid. She sounds appalling.

When you start counting snacks, you know it is time to throw in the towel .

You have to remember you are her employer and you have to direct her.

Most employees in any job are not perfect.

I think the nannies we've had over the years (we're on to au pairs now) have been really great, but I've always had to remind then about something. For example, our best nanny was buying the children 10p lollies once a week - I think they're really bad for their teeth, I asked her not to buy them, explained why and she stopped.

All the things you've mentioned could be fixed very easily just by asking.

It's the lack of grooming and common sense (a sippy cup with NO STRAW?! More than once!!!) that are winding me up more and more.

Point taken Karoleann, but to be fair I have asked on more than one occasion to 1) please take them out and 2) brush their hair. Unless I ask every week specifically it doesn't happen.

If you've asked and she's not done it then fair enough - no that's not acceptable

She is a paid childcare professional. I would not expect her to not know about sippy straws or combing hair. This is the sort of thing I would have to tell my aupairs but a nanny? And then for her not to take it in? Sounds like she takes no pride in her job at all - that is not fixable, because it is to do with her attitude as much as her aptitude. It is right not to persist with a dud.

I feel your pain.

The not brushing the hair is not great.

Spending one day a week playing at home is no problem at all and if you are out and about the rest of the week it's probably beneficial. There are two of them so they can play together. However, if you've asked for them to go out, they should.

Are they getting enough to drink? If they're thirsty and not being given a drink then that is a problem. If your complaint is that she isn't constantly offering drinks, you're being silly. Same for snacks. If they're hungry it's unacceptable. If you're concerned she isn't stuffing rice cakes into them every 20 mins, you're being silly.

The straw thing I don't understand. Can they not drink out of them without the straw? Is she giving them a cup they can't get anything out of? If so, then that is also unacceptable.

Outraged, no I don't think they are drinking enough in a day as they are very thirsty and drink all evening. It's pretty impossible but doable to drink out of a cup that needs a straw without a straw. Very difficult and it leaks, hence the juice all over my floor Friday night when I got home.

I can't know for sure but dd who is 5 tells me she isn't offered anything after school. I'm not sure if she asks because they go straight from school to a club. I know for a fact they aren't given fruit (e.g. With lunch). I find this unacceptable for a supposedly incredibly experienced nanny.

If you have told her what you expect and she's not done it then that is unacceptable. The sippy cup thing is a bit odd, as I for one am constantly offering drinks to my charges as I know how rubbish I feel if I don't get enough water. Also the hair brushing thing isn't normal I don't think.

On the snacks side, that can be harder to judge. I had a charge who came home from school and had a two sandwiches, fruit, and juice as a snack - and then was fussy over dinner. These were mum's express instructions and so I followed them even though I probably would have cut right down the snack and made dinner earlier if he was ravenous.

If the cups are like these then they don't work without the straw. I'd be pretty appalled at that. It's basic care to give them enough food and drink.
The not taking them out is really odd too.

To me it sounds like a lack of care for the job. Even if you are qualified or not, common sense says I need a drink every 30mins (or whatever) so must the children.

The snack/fruit issue, again makes no sense, it's no effort to offer fruit after dinner?!

It's definitely worth mentioning these issues to nanny, because she needs to learn, or move on to another profession. You are not being demanding!

Sounds like she doesn't care about the children and therefore needs to go now. Why pay someone to neglect your children? You could get a temp in for the few weeks left.

Itsfab, she's gone I let her go early, I will just do the next couple weeks myself!

OP, good work. It is for the best.

That's great.

I sometimes think of being an emergency temp nanny but then who would pick up my kids? .

I don't regret it luckily I am self employed so have the flexibility to move things around and make it work. Don't know quite what I would do if it wasn't for that!

at 2.5 i would be giving them a normal cup, so maybe nanny does that

if you are measuring how much liquid and grapes/apple etc they have had, its time to change the nanny - which you have

snacks,i dont offer snacks all the time, some nannies do and some children need them (or eat snacks and meals), others need/eat 3 good meals a day (but dont eat well if snack) and if need be can have fruit inbetween meals, i dont think kids need rice cakes/bread sticks etc throughout the day

i also rarely give snacks when kids come home from school, esp if i am giving them tea 4.30ish - or they dont eat it

brushing hair, havnt a clue why she didnt and most weird

playing at home, is it that bad to play at home for one day? yes nice to go out and get fresh air etc but if kids happy at home and probably entertaining theirselves as well as nanny playing with them, wheres the harm?

Blondes, she didn't give them a normal cup. She gave them a cup with no straw as I saw the evidence when I got home and saw them trying to drink from it (or found it leaked all over the floor ).

It's not the no snack really, it's the no fruit with lunch. Sandwich and crisps, that's it.

I do expect my nanny to entertain the kids. This may mean going to the park, etc. I know they are fine here but what I don't expect is her to bring a laptop and work (which is exactly what I suspect she did).

When I was a nanny (eons ago), I didn't even look at my phone when I had my charges in my sole care! We didn't go anywhere some days but NOT everyday. And they certainly had their hair brushed and were well fed and watered. I wouldn't have dreamed of taking out my laptop unless they were napping and mine don't nap!

Do you have any proof she was working on laptop instead of looking
After children?

Agree fruit should be given with a meal

Maybe you were unlucky?

Least she has gone now :)

I don't blonde but then why did she bring it?

Agree I was unlucky! The nanny we had prior to this one was brilliant, kids loved her, we loved her! Unfortunately (for us!) she went on mat leave do we lost her

I guess I was second guessing myself because this was an older nanny and has a wealth of experience so didn't know if she was crap or I was brung stingy and comparing her to the last nanny and how I did things when I nannied.

I think you were right to get rid of her. I put up with a fairly useless part time nanny for far too long because I didn't want to disrupt the kids' routine but now I have an amazing nanny I can't even begin to tell you the contrast! I was always a bit deflated when I came home to the previous nanny - no matter how many times I asked her to do things she never QUITE did them. In the end it became apparent that she was actually very lazy (eg would say she had plans to take the kids out but never actually do it; feed them rubbish snacks, etc). I now listen to my gut and never ignore it. If something doesn't sit right with you, chances are it isn't!

How has all this stuff "only just come to light"??