My dds go to a wonderful cm, who has looked after them ever since we moved to the town where we live now, when dd1 was 3 and dd2 was 18 months. Dd2 in particular has no memory of ever having been looked after by anyone else, and our cm is like part of our family. At the moment, dd1 is 6 and dd2 is 4 and the arrangement is that we pay £4/hr after school for dd1 and £3/hr for dd2 when she's with the cm (and half that when she's at school, currently 2.5 hrs/day). In school holidays cm has them full-time but not 5 days/week and we pay £3/hr for both girls. We pay whether the cm has them or not (e.g. if I get home early and pick them up from school myself) as the cm is always available to work even if I don't actually need her to do so.
Now... after Christmas dd2 will be starting school full-time, and I expect that we'll be paying £4/hr for her too for the 2 hours per day that the cm will have her. The question is this. I've been a bit low recently about how little time I get to spend with my dds. I have no choice in term time (including half term, when I have to work as normal), because of what I do for a living (university lecturer), but we've decided that in the school holidays we'd like to try to make our own arrangements for the girls (dh can have some time off in the week if I really need to go into work, I can work in the evenings but spend time with the girls during the day, etc.). BUT I don't want to upset my really wonderful cm. What I'd LIKE to do, is for her to have my dds after school and during half terms, but not in the school holidays. As they will both be over 5 by then, they won't be taking up a place that could have been filled full-time by another child, so I am thinking that really there is no reason for me to go on paying my cm during the holidays. But do you think that this is unacceptable? I am aware that a large part of her income has come from me over the last 3 years and I really don't want to leave her in the lurch as it were. OTOH, she must be aware that the money she is getting from the Ellbell family will be dropping soon when dd2 goes to school full-time, and so she must be thinking about maybe looking for another younger child to take dd2's place and to boost her income.
So, here's my question (sorry it was long). Is it unreasonable to expect a cm to pick up my kids during school terms only (and to have them all day at half-term) but not to be paid through the school holidays? Or would you expect to be paid the full amount during the holidays (this would be approx £800 per year which I'd be paying her when I wasn't actually using her)? Or would it be reasonable for her to expect us to pay a retainer of some sort through the school holidays?